Consistency: A steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form.

Our Mitch.  http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/

When Mitch was little I read every book about strong willed children I could get my hands on. Most of them had some suggestions/tips/ideas that applied to our “situation”, and others that didn’t. This was mainly because the “situation” seemed ever changing, we would work through one behavior and another would start. Over the years Mike and I attempted and implemented many suggestions from these books and articles, and followed advice from other parents.

Thinking back now, I barely remember how frustrated I was then. But I know at times it was bad. Since several of my friends have now become parents, yes I do tend to hang with a younger crowd, I hear now about the frustrations with their strong willed, intelligent children. Good to know that everything hasn’t changed… I guess, kids can still be kids.

My biggest piece of advice, and something that has helped us over the years, has been to remain consistent.

When the kids were little, we established a very specific bedtime routine. Whether it was me, Mike, or both of us putting the boys to bed, the routine remained the same. No matter how bad the behavior, the routine stayed consistent from our end.

Yes indeed, some days were harder than others, especially if we were tired. If I had lost my patience, which I have very little of to begin with, it was even more stressful. And yes, at times there was screaming, and the sense that those days/nights would never end. I remember thinking to myself, when is this ever going to be over?

It ended all right. Much to soon if you ask me now. But the funny thing is, the screaming hasn’t ended. Only there's an interesting twist…when a teen screams, it comes out in the form of silence. As in, they won't talk, won't let you in, won't let you know what is bothering them, when clearly something is.

I might prefer the actual screaming.

Kids like to test parents, like to push the envelope, like to be in control whether they are little boys or almost-adults. They like to see how far they can push back their boundaries. But as hard as it is, parents need to send a consistent message to show them what we expect, and to remind them who is in charge.

It is exhausting being the meany all the time. But then again, I have seen what happens to kids when parents don’t remain consistent and give in to those silent screams. And that is worse.

I won’t mince words. It gets really hard through the teenage years, maybe not as much of the physically exhausting kind of hard, as the mental. I might even go so far as to say, it is even more work and more important to stay firm and consistent as they get older. But I believe that even almost-adult kids are testing us to see what we will give in to, how we will react, and if we will love them, no matter what.

Parenting is never easy, and looking back I can see that all phases of parenting have had their challenges. Hopefully whatever phase you are currently in, stressful or not, will be remembered with love.

Enjoy the screams folks, it is better than silence.

I mentioned on Easter we played my favorite game Truth Be Told. (If you are interested, I explained a little more how this game works in a previous post.) What I didn't mention about yesterday is that I went first and here is the question we had to answer about me:

Truth Be Told when I look in the mirror I see ______________.

Here is my lovely family's list of answers to this. And remember they are supposed to answer as if they were me.

• My Gray hair (I have never died my hair and  I refuse to)
• My Eyebrows (I complain that my eyebrow hair grows so fast I have to tweeze every darn day)
• My Zits (3 people said this and I had to send them all back  to come up with different answers because that was MY actual answer)
• My wrinkles (do I have those?)
• My big teeth (what????)
• My boogers (my family has to say boogers or fart in at least every other answer)
• The stuff stuck in my teeth (big pet peeve when no one tells me)

Well why didn't they just top off this love fest by adding my thin lips, big nose, droopy eye, big ears, and pale face to the list?
And did I mention that my sister Shelly could NOT stop laughing at every answer? Good thing I love them all so much.

Who still gets zits at almost 49 anyway? Gheesh!

The thing I love most about holidays is the girl time. Since I pretty much always have serious boy time at my house, going to my mom and dad's for Easter when the whole family is there, is super sweet for me. My mom has one sister, my aunt Lo, and I am the oldest of three girls. Since my sisters each have a daughter, that makes for an even guy/girl ratio in the house. That is rare for me.

We played one of my favorite games before Easter dinner Truth Be Told and giggled until our belly's hurt.

Bubbles, egg hunts, bunny ice cream cakes, games and girl time. What more can a girl ask for?

Happy Easter, I hope yours was as blessed as mine.

 

Here's one sweet niece.

Could she be any cuter?

Smiling at Alec who's helping her blow bubbles.

She could hardly wait for her cousin to arrive.

So she could find eggs.

Maybe the boys will have to hide them better next year.

Until her basket was full.

She was so proud of the Baskin Robbins bunny cake she brought.

My sister and my other sweet niece.

Me and Sadie

P.S. I don't want anyone to think I didn't appreciate the day with all the boys in my life, because I did....it's just that there is something special about a little girl time now and then. And I felt like sharing the fun.

Nope, not one of my better moments. Embarrassing. Time Wasting.  And downright D-U-M-B.

I learned a valuable lesson today called what not to do at a regatta...never park your mini van off road.

Mini van + soggy grass = mud = Yep, I got stuck in the mud.

I made quite the impression at Mitch's first regatta of the season this morning.

I parked directly in line (off road) with all the other vehicles heading to the regatta on the Grand River. I did notice it was a little soggy under my feet when I got out of the van, but I was in a hurry to see Mitch off at the dock so I didn't dwell on this...or apparently notice all the other vehicles I parked in line with were 4 wheel drive vehicles. Uh oh. That should have been my first clue.

So as luck would have it, our family had three vehicles at this regatta. We all came from different places at different times. Good thing, because after Mitch's races we headed back to our respective vehicles. I didn't know I was even stuck until after Mitch roared off in his car headed for a warm shower. I tried to back up and got about a foot, and then my tires starting spinning. I tried to go forward but that did nothing. I took my foot of the brake and was still in forward. Not a good sign when I didn't move. So I tried reverse, tires spun, took my foot off the brake. Didn't move.

Oh no, I cannot be stuck. This is not happening.

I hopped out and the guy parked next to me rolled down his window, but he was shaking his head like lady you are an idiot, so I declined his offer to help. Don't tell Mike that part.

I managed to flag Mike down from across the field before he got to his vehicle to let him know that I was in a wee bit of trouble. He came back to my rescue. Then we quickly realized that no amount of him pushing, and me rocking it/driving was going to get me unstuck. Hey, suddenly I remembered that this would be a perfect job for Mike's new Jeep. Slap that baby in 4-wheel drive and yank me out. He shook his head. He forgot his tow strap.

(What? Who drives a Jeep and doesn't have a tow strap, isn't that some kind of unwritten Jeep owner's rule, that you have to have a tow strap and a flag in case you find some dunes to traverse?)

Crap.

Okay we decided we'd go home, get some kids to help, get the tow strap and return.

As I took my walk of shame away from my van towards his Jeep I berated myself for being almost 49 years old and doing something this dumb. I can honestly say I have never gotten a vehicle stuck in the mud before. It didn't help that although Mike was indeed parked across the field, he was parked in the parking lot. Yeah, the kind meant for mini vans, with a hard packed surface and stones and stuff.

I know I know. Really dumb on my part to try the off road thing. 

Since Mitch had to go to work soon after we got home, we woke up Alec (yes, college kid home for Easter weekend was still sleeping at noon). Son number 3, Oliver--one of Alec's best friends, was also sleeping over. I asked them to put on some old clothes and get in the Jeep.

And then I did what every sensible girl does when she's in trouble...I called my dad.

He chuckled at me, but said to come and get him. He was busy helping my mom with Easter preparations, something about deboning the honey baked ham and such, so I think he secretly might have been happy I called for help...

Here is what the scene looked like when we returned.  There was my van all alone in the field.

Yeah, everyone else got out.



http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/



But based on the deep tire tracks, it doesn't look like anyone got out easily.



http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/

 Alec and Oliver checked out the scene. Can you see the mud on my rear window? That's sprayed from the vehicle on the right trying to escape.



http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/



See. Yikes.

http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/

We brought boards to put under the tires.



http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/



And the tow strap.



http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/



And the boys stood by and watched....



http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/



...As my dad got all dirty. What? My mom is not going to like this.



http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/



The boys pushed, the Jeep pulled, my dad drove and I...

 took pictures for my blog.



http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/

 Success! Woo hoo. And the only one who got dirty....was my dear old dad. Gotta love his "let's get this done" attitude. Thank you to all my rescuers. 

While Sadie is in the thick of practicing for her driver's test, I guess I just might need to take a lesson from her in how to park.



photo credit: ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com


I've decided that college these days is rough.

And surprisingly, I am not referring to the classes.

I'm referring to the advisors, counselors, cashier's offices, registration processes...pretty much everything to do with college is a confusing mess, except the classes.

I am a college educated (okay so it was a few years ago when I went off to school) person. But what I don't understand is how they expect kids to navigate their own way through the college system nowadays.

Institutions of higher learning now have some privacy thing where the parents are not allowed to know what is going on with their kids. I still don't get why, or why a student can't sign a form that says "Yes," please let my parents assist in advising me. After all, the majority of the parents, pay the bills. So why can't we know. It frustrates me to no end.

Yesterday I may have figured this scam out.

I offered to help a friend of mine who has been struggling for a couple years to understand her options at a local university, and before she throws away 6 years of college and starts something completely new, I wanted to help her get the whole scoop. So, I went with her to her advisor meeting.

Let me preface this by saying, I was prepared to sit and listen, and only intervene when my friend did not understand something. What was interesting to me is that once introduced, the advisor suddenly began talking directly to me...and for lack of a better word, backpeddling. She started pulling up documents, checking records and then, as she looked at these documents, she began to visibly panic. She even went so far as to ask my friend if she'd ever even met with her before.

Um... yes she has. With you, here, twice, maybe three times already.

"No that can't be, why I wouldn't have advised you to do this, I would have told you to do this...."

I thought it was a very interesting reaction, seeing as how I hadn't yet said a word, except hello and wow you must have went on spring break because you are really tan.

So why the panic? Well, like I said, I think I have figured out the scam.

Colleges don't let parents in on anything, so they can then make more money. That's the scam. Because kids don't ask good questions, or are afraid to, they only undesrtand half the info advisors throw out, and then as a result things like what happened to my friend, happen.

My friend had been advised to retake the same class 4 times by this advisor. (Well 5 really but we won't count that one time because she dropped it in time to get a refund.) Yep, 4 times. And guess what?...there is apparently a rule that in college if you take a class over again, they take your most recent grade even if it was lower than the first time you took it. Yep, you can pay again....and again...and again...and again and still not get back to the first grade you got. Crazy, right?

I finally spoke up....why is this, I asked? Oh, the advisor said, it's always been this way.

Um no, pretty sure it wasn't that way back in the dark ages when I went to college

...And then she likened the process to double dipping?

Double dipping... How?

Why? Even the ACT test lets you take the test over and over again, if you want to pay for it,  and they take your best score, not your most recent.

How can it possibly be considered cheating to take a class again, and pay for it, but not be allowed to use the best grade you got, whether or not it was your most recent?

Moving on... okay let's consider the notion of cheating. I believe that some advisors are cheating students out of hard earned tuition money or forcing kids/parents to take out big loans for what really amounts to bad advice. Or how about we call it, not very well researched advice.

Now I get that advisors are busy people. But there is no way you are going to tell me that this advisor was doing her job to the best of her ability when her advice involved taking a class over 4 times, while each time the grade went down, getting my friend farther from her goal. Something is rotten in Denmark.

 If advisors are not going to help our children, then we, the parents should be allowed back in the loop to do just that. I figure if I have been confused in the last two years by the various processes at three local colleges and universities helping other kids/friends, then how can students be expected to navigate this system alone?

I'm no brainiac but I am fairly intelligent and old to boot. Wait... I meant seasoned and wise and experienced. I have a pretty good head on my shoulders. I figure if I can't grasp something, then it hasn't been sufficiently explained or presented correctly, and I can almost guarantee that I am not the only one who doesn't get it.

People, I think there is a problem with our institutions of higher learning.

My friend is still trying to figure her situation out. The advice she received at the end of our meeting was to talk to a professor in the department of that pesky class, to see what could be done. She did that today.

That professor's answer was to suggest that she take a different class, not the one she has taken 4 times already, and casually mentioned she will need to get an A- in the class in order to proceed.

Really? First off,  I think this advice comes just a little too late. And second, can you say s-c-a-m?

Okay I had big plans for tonite. Some wine, some writing, some American Idol.

But what is more important? 

A future, a paper, a friend, a break-up or a blogpost?

You can see why my best laid plans didn't go as I planned.

But that's okay. I was needed. And you know, it felt kinda good.

That blogpost I had all set in mind....can wait until tomorrow.

Crazy night at the Spauldings.

Again.

So I think I might be weird.....and I'm not sure if I am doing this blogging thing properly.

I don't want to read a blog from someone I do not "know". Is that bad?

I have spent a fair amount of time looking at other blogs. Now, I don't really have to "know" a person in real life, but I have to have at least a sense of them in order to follow their blog.

My favorite blogs are the ones who's readers tell me who they are, and then be themselves.

On the car ride home from MSU last weekend I casually mentioned to Alec, my oldest, who was in the car with me, hey you commented on my blog this week.

 I didn't even know, he knew, I had one. So, I bravely went on to ask what he thought of it. I am pretty sure I was holding my breath until he answered.

He said. It's good mom. When I read it, it sounds like you. And I can see your facial expressions saying what you write (or some paraphrase of that). And it made me feel really good.

I don't pretend to know what I am talking about. I don't pretend to be a writer. I don't pretend that anyone really wants to read what I say, but I am glad they do, I am, who I am.

I do this, for me.

I think I like reading blogs from people, who A) can write, it doesn't matter what style they write in, who B) say something, and who C) strike a chord with me.

I don't care if I agree or disagree with them, in the end I just want them to be real.

I have read some of the BIG bloggers' blogs, like Pioneer Woman. And she is r-e-a-l. That is cool. She writes what she would say while sitting down and talking to me, and she isn't always politically correct. And I appreciate that.

I have read other blogs, where the writers are uncomfortable about sharing their profile. They write super well, but when I read their blog, I lack the connection I should have, to truly understand them. They definitely have something to say, but for me, it is all about being real.

Show me the real and whole you. Imperfect. Honest. Vulnerable. And I will follow.

My friend Leanna started a blog last week. It's her. For better or for worse. I love it. I applaud it. I follow it.

Oh and did I mention, she's only 19? Awesome. http://theroadtotheunknown.wordpress.com/.

Me and Sadie, photo taken in the Chuck E. Cheese Photo Booth

Birthday success.

Well, I think it was, anyway.

 I am never sure. But that is kind of a mom thing, isn't it?

You never really know. Things can be good and then poof, they change on a dime.

God gave me boys. Dirty, sweaty, active kids. They didn't need their hair done, they weren't too picky about their clothes (well, they did both have their moments. Remember the tall sweat sock stage, Alec?, and I am pretty sure Mitch wore the same three shirts for an entire school year!), and thankfully they have never been terribly moody.

That's probably why God did not bless me with that girl I always wanted.

I am patience-challenged.

This weekend for Sadie's 21st birthday we did indeed, karaoke in the real world. It was the first song of the night. Alec, Sadie and I sang Build Me Up Buttercup, by The Foundations.

She was nervous. Yeah, really....her, with the fantastic voice. Me, not so much. Okay, in all honesty it could have been the wine I drank before we got there, but I did not care. We had fun. We didn't suck.

I didn't get any rave reviews, even from my husband, but I am pretty sure there were worse singers that came after us.

So, goal accomplished!

And my sweet Alec sang a Backstreet Boys song, all by himself, Shape of My Heart. Really, really tough song to sing. It wasn't his best effort. He was "pitchy", okay maybe I have been watching a little too much American Idol, ....but I had proud heart anyway, for his bravery and confidence.

Alec singing Shape of My Heart. What a great weekend!

P.S. Why the heck am I so pooped?

There are some things in life that never change, no matter how old you are.

Like the feeling of strong arms holding you close when you dance.

I love dancing with my husband. Neither of us is any good. Neither of us does anything fancy. But just being in his arms and swaying to the music is enough for me.

Takes me back, waaaaay back.

It was, after all, just over 30 years ago when I first danced in his arms.

Oh my how time flies.

We so need to dance more often.

I love you honey.

L to R: Sadie & Me

This picture was taken late last summer. Sadie and I had a little "girl time" together at the cottage before the rest of the crew joined us. At that time I wasn't sure how much longer we would even have "girl time" together. She was making plans to go to Texas to visit her biological mom and wasn't sure what would happen after that, if she would come back, or stay in Texas.

Woo hoo! Lucky for us, she came back just after Christmas.

Today we celebrate her 21st birthday. It is really tomorrow, April 17, but who wants to celebrate your 21st on a Sunday? I find it interesting that many moons ago, when I was a senior at CMU (Central Michigan University) I too, celebrated my 21st birthday at midnight on a Saturday, because mine fell on a Sunday.

We are having dinner here with some of her close friends, then warming up with some karaoke in our basement....yes we are basement karaokers..and, tonite we are going out into the real world to share our "talent".

And we have talent, too.

Not me, so much, I am the back up chick. But Sadie can sing. I love her voice. Actually everyone in our little group can really sing. I just want to sing. 

This will be the third time I am lucky enough to celebrate her birthday with her. Last year, I think she sort of thought she was celebrating her 21st.

That didn't go so well.

Now just so you don't get the wrong impression of me, I should mention that the drinking part of last year's birthday did not occur until after she left the celebration at our house. I do not condone underage drinking, well...there was a time I gave my eldest kid money for jello shots, but that is another story. And maybe not quite what you think...

I may have mentioned before that Sadie has two moms, and then there is me. Not a mom, but I sometimes treat her as if I am her mom. Which as you can imagine, makes for some rocky roads around here some days. 

But today we will decorate, we will cook, we will clean, we will party, we will drink (a little) and then we will go out in the real world and shine.

Happy almost 21 Sadie! I love you.

So.... while I was blog hopping today (and looking at pics of some awesomely decorated homes), I got an idea. Maybe it won't work, but just maybe it will. I have a decorating dilemma and I need your help.

Here is my fireplace. Now what do I do with it?

Help!

This fireplace is in our family room, which is accessible with a step down from either the living room or the dining room/kitchen area. So that means it is visible from pretty much everywhere on the main floor. Which is why I have to come up with a solution for it. It has been neglected for far too long.

B-o-r-i-n-g

We redecorated the family room last fall (as in we painted and got new furniture). But once I got that far, I never actually "decorated" the mantle, above the fireplace or below on the hearth area. I know my bookshelves could use some work too, but that is mostly just laziness.

See, it's visible upon to entering thru the front door.

So, it is about time for a fireplace makeover. I like the red brick, I know I could paint it, but no thanks.

So then, what color and what type of accessory works there? Everything I like just ends up blending in. Do I put pieces of pottery on either side, plants (yipes.. I kill everything), scuptures (I'm reaching here...), what?

The rusted metal Christmas trees I have there now (who says Christmas trees are only for Christmas time, especially if they are funky ones) are my favorite type of decoration, but they blend right in. That seems to be the problem with everything I like. So, please can you help me broaden my horizons and find a solution?

View from the dining room/kitchen into the family room

If I don't come up with something above the mantle soon, my husband is going to figure out a way to get a flat screen tv up there. (Please, no).

A couple of things to consider: whatever goes above the mantle has to be easily removable so I can hang my fresh and fragrant real pine wreath up there once Thanksgiving rolls around. Yes, I decorate for Christmas the minute thanksgiving is over, but it comes down the day after Christmas.

And I should mention that I am on a really limited budget for this. Okay not really limited, but it has to be  practically priced. I am just that kind of girl.

So I am asking for your help. If you see something that might work, please send me a link. If you have a suggestion, please let me know. I need inspiration.

Much appreciated. Thanks!

So as most of you know I had surgery on Tuesday. And I've decided that you have to be a special person to be a nurse. Yipes. I sure wouldn't have wanted me as a patient.

Not that I was mean or anything (and not to share TMI), but I was kinda gross. And they took such good care of me, as if I wasn't. Thank you nursing staff at Spectrum Downtown. You are awesome.

Lord only knows what things I said, pretty sure I was incoherent most of the day. One nurse, on her way out the door when it was apparent that I wasn't meeting the requirements to go home for the evening, stopped to say that it was okay that I didn't make it home on the same day as my surgery, a lot of people don't.

I must have had sad eyes. I appreciated that she saw my need to hear that, and it made me feel less like a failure or a wimp.

All is good now. I made it home yesterday morning. It helped that it was a gorgeous day. I sat out in the sun for a bit. Had my sweet three year old niece call me and say she was stopping by with my sister for a visit. What a surprise, and what a bonus, she brought me a People and an O Magazine. Such a treat as I rarely buy magazines!

My aunt dropped by with fresh flowers....so nice to brighten up the house.

And my mom stopped in with a chicken casserole and spinach salad (how do mom's always know what you are craving?...)

Then my sweet husband, who spent all day and all night with me at the hospital, which I guarantee wasn't too exciting as I couldn't keep my eyes open, fixed my computer. Darn viruses.

I'm a happy girl.

It is so nice to be loved.

It is the eve before my surgery. Tomorrow at 5:30 am I have to be at the hospital for my hysterectomy.

Everyone keeps asking me if I am nervous. And my first reaction is that No, I am not.

But then I think about what could happen. And okay, maybe I am little nervous.

But I suppose that is what life is like. If I focused only on the what-could-happen's, or the what ifs, I would be a nervous wreck. And most days I am worried enough without going there.

There comes a point when you just have to trust. Just release the control and believe that everything happens for a reason. Even if it doesn't make sense or follow your plan.

That's why we should attempt to live life to the fullest, why we should cherish the little things in life, and why we should always share the love that we feel.

Because you never know what might happen.

Mike had a gig last Friday night...he stayed home a little longer than he had originally planned, to visit with a friend who came over with her new baby. So he arrived later to the gig than he might normally have.  One of the band members rushed up to him a little freaked out because only half and hour before, his girlfriend's co-worker had walked into the bar, went to sit down, slumped over and passed away.

Just like that. On a Friday night at dinnertime, in a bar.

No goodbyes, no warnings, no chance to say what he might have wanted to.

So I try to live by these thoughts: Life is precious. Enjoy every moment. And share every feeling, especially if it is to tell someone how much you love them. You just never know what might happen.

I intend to have an awesome surgery tomorrow, to come home (this time) with a positive result. And to recover quickly and easily amidst the love and well wishes of my family and friends.

Not even gonna let that worry in.

So let me start by saying (for those of you who are new to my blog) that surprising even myself, I have allowed someone who wasn't born to me, to live in my house, under my roof. By that I mean, someone who is not part of my biological family, but who lives with us like she is. See earlier post  http://bit.ly/dT7EJ3.

Okay, maybe that is not weird to you, but it is totally weird to me. I never, ever, ever imagined that this would be me. I thought my friends who took in children were downright nuts.

Until I met Sadie. And well, she stole my heart. But to just say she "lives with us" is a gross injustice. I love Sadie. If there was a way she would let me adopt her, at age almost 21, I would do it in a heartbeat. But she already has two other "moms", and she doesn't need me, I am just the one she lives with. And that sometimes hurts a little.

Today was a milestone for me, and for Sadie. I had my first pedicure with my 'wish-she-was-my-daughter" and she, had her first pedicure EVER. Next weekend is her 21st birthday, and next week is my hysterectomy. I wanted "pretty toes" for this event, and she was a reluctant participant.

Until partway through the pedicure, when the foot massage started. And then, she was sold. Sadie now wants to go back the last Friday of every month for a pedicure. Funny, considering she snarfed at me the last time I suggested she even consider having one done with me! (I had to cancel our appointment and do my own toes).

Hee hee. The price tag for a once-a-month pedicure is a little too steep for me, I only manage to go about once a year.

Which is why I was a lot embarrassed as we sat in the pedicure chair. Her lovely young feet were done approximately a half an hour before mine. Oops. They got out tools they never even considered using on her sweet feet, to "fix" mine. Talk about lack of self esteem....

Okay in my defense, I am a yoga instructor, I am in bare feet a lot. And let's face it people, I am o-l-d. Aren't your feet supposed to get gross when you are o-l-d? They worked a lot harder on my feet than they did on hers. A fact she didn't mind pointing out...

But to me it wasn't about that. I loved having the day with her, enjoying new things, and getting the chance to spend some quality "girl" time together. It was kind of a luxury, since I am a "pink"  in a sea of blue. (I totally stole that from another UBP blog, thanks btw...) I had two boys and no girls. She is the daughter I never had.

Here is a pic of our pedicured toes.

L to R:  Sadie & Me:  Post Pedicure

P.S. Yes, I have ugly feet people. My toes are webbed. So, what does that make me... no, not a good swimmer, but maybe... imperfectly perfect.

Thank you Sadie, for a perfect day.

http://www.wordle.net/

I find myself waking up at night with ideas for blogposts. Funny thing is... by morning, the wonderfully crafted, witty blogposts I have slaved over all night long in my dreams, have poofed. Vanished.

Seems there is some kind of jam up in my head, I have so much to say, but where do I start?

At the beginning , Ter.

So what I would like to say today is that the Ultimate Blog Party sucks. Kidding. Kidding. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

I'll admit when I signed up and submitted my "party" entry, I was a little nervous. Normally a pretty confident person, there are few things that do fluster me. Having people read, and possibly not like my writing, is one of them.

I've been blogging here and there for over a year, oh gosh, maybe it has even been two, and my little blog hasn't gotten noticed much. Okay I haven't really tried to get it noticed much. It was a huge and scary step just to put it on my facebook page so my friends would know it existed. Heck my husband hasn't even read it--he's only read a few posts to make sure I wasn't offending anyone, before I let them fly.

But sending my little blog out into the world for a bunch of "real" bloggers to read was scary.

And yes, I've been feeling a little underdressed at this party. My blog doesn't have all the bells and whistles that most of the "real" bloggers have. Most have custom template designs, a lot have customized theirs with adorable little avatars and lovely graphics, they have sponsors, and offer free stuff. Or they do product reviews and wow everyone with giveaways and giftcards.

I don't even have anything to sell.

It's just me. My words. My life (and I have to admit, my life is pretty ordinary compared to some of those partying at the UBP). The fact that people make money blogging about their lives, blows my mind. And  makes me a bit envious, too. You go girls!

So this won't sound like much to the "real" bloggers, but I am doing a happy dance over it, I have 28 followers now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And there are some of you who have commented, and who's blogs I have read, who have made this step of sending my little blog out into the world a whole lot easier.

My husband comes home from working a show in Las Vegas today. I missed him. Thanks UBP for filling my week with new friends.

P.S. And one of these days... the log jam of thoughts in my brain will open up. Look out world.

Ever want to reach out and help a friend in need of support, but realize there is really nothing you can do to help? Except maybe send good thoughts, hugs and love her way....

This happened to me today. My friend Rachel needed a big hug. So, on a dreary Sunday morning, (as it is sleeting against the windows here in Michigan) I offered her the "This too shall pass" and it will make you stronger line of comfort. I hope it was enough.

I meant it. Heck, I often live it.

And I currently need  it send back to me.

I just had the courage to go online and look up Mitch's grades for the end of this marking period.

He started out the year with a 3.6 GPA, my guess is that right now it is probably about a 2.0. Not to mention, he's a junior. The year that colleges look at your grades.... h-e-l-l-o.

Nice way to start out your future, eh?

Remember...this too, shall pass.

At least I am counting on that.

 I started this post a while back and never finished it. I thought maybe it was time.

On February 26, Alec celebrated his 19th birthday. It was so much fun to have him home for the weekend with his friends from MSU. We did karaoke, we ate, we played games. They went sledding, built sleeping forts and stayed up all night.

Yes, I did say 19.

Fun. Fun. Fun.

As is the way around here, before I even had time to finish the post, my pre-vet bound college freshman dropped a bomb on us. He said he could not see his future as a veterinarian (something he had solely aspired to be, since first grade), and he wanted to change his major to become an elementary school teacher.

Gulp. Yoga breath. Take another deep calming yoga breath, Terri. It's okay. Really.

"This is what all college freshman do. Better he figures it out now. He'll make a great teacher!" said my friends.

True. Very true. But holy cow.

I am so not good with change.

I realize that it is okay to change your mind. Heck, even I did once I got to school. But that is quite a switch, considering he only applied to one school because of the veterinary program. So what now?

I can adapt. Change is good.

Okay, so maybe the words that came out of my mouth in the ensuing week did not adequately express what I was thinking/feeling. Maybe they came out a little more "money" ish than I really intended. I'm pretty sure I said I wasn't cosigning another loan for $23,000 unless he was sure MSU was the right place to go to become a teacher, and unless he started putting forth his best effort in his classes.

Yep. I said it. 

But as Mike gently reminded me, it isn't only about the money.

And he's right. So, after many conversations, here is where it stands. Alec will either stay at MSU next year and switch to the College of Education, or he will move back home to Grand Rapids and attend GVSU.

Now, do I really want him home?

Be careful what you wish for....

P.S. Stay tuned.

http://www.ter-whenigrowup.blogspot.com/

I've often seen posts where people get on their "soapbox". It's one of the things I love about blogging. You get to say what you are thinking (and if you are passionate about something) it sometimes means you "go off" a little.

I didn't really think anyone was listening, so it was a bit surprising when I opened up my e-mail at work on Thursday and saw a cease and desist letter from a company I had mentioned in my work blog.

Oops.

I sell paper. And I am currently in charge of my company's blog. Now it is true, I did get on my "soapbox" in the particular blogpost in question. It was about a company who was misusing facts about paper and trees to put a "green spin" on their product. I'm sure you've seen something similar many times from your bank, or your credit card company, that little plug to save the environment and go "paperless".

This particular company had a nice little You Tube video and website with all these "facts" about how great their product was for the environment. My beef? They were not true. Don't even get me up on my soapbox , but the real truth is that by not using paper, you might actually kill the forest, not save a tree. For a great video which explains this real story visit http://cmpaper.blogspot.com/2011/03/this-one-is-for-visual-people.html.

I wasn't as much afraid of the cease and desist letter, as I was excited that my work blog was getting noticed. They didn't really have a leg to stand on. When blogging in the comfort of your own home or office, it is easy to think that you have anonymity, almost like  no one is really "listening".

But the truth is people might be hearing you.

After some consideration I took down the post, reworked it, and with no mention of that company, reposted it. My choice. http://cmpaper.blogspot.com/2011/03/please-cease-and-desist-with.html.

I was right, they were wrong, but who am I to single out one company when there are so many who do this? In my email response to them, I suggested they might want to double check the information listed on their website for accuracy before someone with a lot more power behind their cease and desist letter, like the American Forest & Paper Association, noticed their greenwashing.

I am just one person. I have my own thoughts, dreams, frustrations, and joys. And I have this little window to share them in. If you are reading this, I thank you. It is an honor to be heard.

We are lucky people to have this freedom, this right to speak our minds.

Welcome to my When I Grow Up blog. I am so geeked to have the opportunity to introduce myself, my blog, my family to you via the Ultimate Blog Party 2011. I am new at this, but absolutely love having access to so many inspiring blogs through the linky list.

I'm wondering how I will ever get anything done now?

Thanks for stopping by.

I hope you'll stay a while.

I have lived over half my life, so I should feel like a grown up, right? By now you'd think I could answer the age old question ...what do I want to be When I Grow Up.

When I was little, all I wanted was to be a grown up. Now that I am all grown up, I still feel like that little kid....

My blog, When I Grow Up is about my journey growing into the person I always wanted to be. It is a place for me to share my thoughts, experiences, observations and hopefully some of the wisdom that has come with my age.

It's a little about parenting and growing older, a lot about personal growth and about the things I love: my family, yoga, and taking chances. I believe in following your gut, living for no regrets, and trying to be the best person you can be. 

I invite you to join me on my journey.

Well this time I started 5 x 5 Night off a bit easier. I got there early, in plenty of time to get my ticket to Reserve, and there was no running involved. Awesome.

I also got a seat this time. Once settled I had the opportunity to look around and see who was there.  Saw my new Twitter friend, Jason. Went to send him a tweet, and then noticed my phone was about to die. Oops. Unplanned trip to the bathroom to charge my cell phone.

As the 5 presenters each made their way to the podium I felt like this time I knew what to expect. I figured 5 new ideas, 5 unique styles of presentation, but the same basic stuff.

Only not so much. This time it felt different.

And that is what made it so cool. There were 5 completely different and unique ideas. Different from each other and different from last time. Nothing same about it. From the way the ideas were presented, to the final judges decision, it was all a completely new experience.

And I loved it.

I find that I get a great deal of pleasure in choosing my favorite idea of the night and discussing it with my husband, Mike. Like whether or not I think the idea has merit, or how the idea could be tweaked here or there or maybe how the presenter could have explained things a bit more clearly, or whatever.

It's fabulous & fun.

And the best part for me is that I got to talk about my idea to others, and got support and positive reinforcement to continue on with it. To refine it and to present again. Cool.

There are a couple of things I still would like 5 x 5 Night to divulge. Like can we see the online submissions from the 5 selected presenters? Do the chosen 5 judges pick the 5 "winners" from the entries submitted, or is that someone else's job?

Sure, I know they don't have to tell us, after all, they are awarding free money, but it would be nice to know.

Last time I blogged about it, I said 5 x 5 Night needed a little more heart. This time, I'd say they got it right.

Yay for GR and Congrats to the weather guy who took home this month's $5000!

P.S. Can't wait to be surprised again next month.