I was recently reminded that things happen for a reason, and more often than not, differently than we expected them to.

I used to be a control freak, trying to plan out my days to finish my dreaded and daunting To Do list, bent on achievement. My self-care time was always put on hold until I finished this and that, or made headway on a certain project or idea. As a result, there was no me time for me to refuel and re-balance. It was not a thriving lifestyle, it was exhausting.

These days I have slowed it all down, my life, my list, my expectations--- everything. And yet I still crave more freedom, more spontaneity and more "me" time. How do I know? I made an I AM Vision Board this past weekend. It was a small group who showed up to tune in, but a powerful one. It gave me a chance to participate in the process and to recognize how making  time for yourself, to listen, to tune in, always unveils patterns we have missed.

Reading my own board, I recognize that my inner world is very peaceful now but my outer world feels messy, unorganized, stale. I crave more simplicity, less clutter, (some new home furnishings it appears) and relaxation time with no agenda.

Creating this unique roadmap for myself will allow me a chance to put forth the best version of myself, so my family, my students, my corner of the world gets the best "me" I can be. I look forward to the changes that will come as I use my vision board to guide my choices.

I am always humbled by the wisdom we all have within us, if only we make time to listen to it.

As the new year approaches we have a chance to wipe the slate clean again and start over. I highly recommend tune in time to make your own vision board, choosing your three words to live by (and not setting resolutions), and creating a framework for a year of growth and re-connection with your true/best self.

Next Vision Board opportunity with me is on Friday, December 8 from 6:30-9:30 pm. Check out the Soulistic Sisters events calendar for registration details.

Do you know what you want out of life? I presume you'd like to be happy -- most people would certainly choose being happy over being unhappy. Yet I bet you are sabotaging that happiness a little bit every day.

A few years back I was introduced to the Law of Attraction. I discounted it at first, thinking it sounded a little out there...."ask for what you want and the universe will provide it." Yeah, right....well the skeptical "yeah, right" part of my thinking was actually the only part of my thinking the universe heard. For a long time.

For example, my dream might have once been to write a book, but if I never actually wrote anything down, or ever started writing a book -- because I kept saying I didn't know where to start, the universe would give me back exactly what I was asking for in my thoughts ---confusion about where to start. So, no book.

How many times does this happen to you? You say you want one thing, only you think deep down that it will never work. Or you are stalled by a "yeah but" thought.... the kind that says it will never happen because it is only my dream-- it will never actually come true. Or I don't have enough talent or skill (or time) to do this and even if I did, no one would buy it/read it anyway. There are a multitude of ways that doubt, fear and negativity can creep in and ruin our good intentions.

Think about it this way. What if the universe gave you a response to every thought you have? That'd be sort of bad, right? I mean, we all have bad days...and bad things keep happening to us, and the next thing we know we are angry or sad and our thoughts end up in a negative place that even we aren't comfortable with.

Let's say that in this universe it is possible to get a response to every thought you send out. And negative thinking outweighs positive thinking every time. That means if you say one thing, and think another (negative) thought deep inside--the doubt, fear, criticism side will be heard and will attract that back to you.

How many times have you had a great idea, or mentioned that you really didn't like something that you were assigned to complete because it wasn't what you were good at or that you didn't like doing, only to have someone say something to the effect of: "Well we can't all do just what we want to do."

I've come to understand that is very negative thinking and just plain wrong. People say that only because they think they can't have what they want, or aren't able to do what they do easily.

But why? We actually can. But not when we don't trust in ourselves fully. The voice of doubt inside will attract exactly what you don't want--if you let it have free reign.

Question of the Week #37 / What Do You Really Want?

I encourage you to dig in and figure out what you really want...then think yourself there. Affirm it. Say it in the form of an affirmation, a positive, a now. Act as if it is truly on it's way to happening and don't let the inner doubt step up and ruin things. Success, romance, happiness, love, prosperity --- it is all within your reach. If I have learned nothing else it is that it is totally within my power to attract the life I want.

Looking for more on the subject, try reading or listening to one of these books:

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne , Ask and it is Given by Esther & Jerry Hicks, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay

Another aha moment. The only thing that has ever held me back from being all I was meant to be, is me. 

In Susan Jeffers’ book Embracing Uncertainty I ran across a ”What If” exercise she suggested her readers do. It was about facing your fears of uncertainty about the future. If I remember right, you were supposed to list your “what if” worries to help you figure out if you could handle the possible outcomes — and by getting those fears out, you could analyze whether or not you could indeed handle them, change them, or do anything about them  (thus eliminating their power). And then you were encouraged to simply let them go.

Before last November when I had my own version of a “breakdown” aka “spiritual awakening”, I used to practice what Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly, calls foreboding joy. Essentially I would imagine the worst case scenario of whatever was in front of me, so that I would not be vulnerable “unprepared to handle it” if my current state of happiness or safety changed on me. I would consider all possible outcomes to make sure I could indeed handle things ”if”, and more often than not I was preparing myself to handle negative outcomes. Talk about setting myself up for failure, not to mention the potential for the direction of my thoughts to attract more negativity into my life.

It seems so clear to me now why I felt like my life was spinning out of control— and why the joyful moments I felt were so fleeting. I was trying to control outcomes to situations that would likely never even occur. I was pushing away my current joy and fearing what might (or might not be) coming next.

So when I ran across the exercise in Embracing Uncertainty I adapted it for my new way of positive thinking about future outcomes. My What If list now represents what I need to be prepared to handle when I am a HUGE SUCCESS. I need to be ready for the JOY I know is coming my way.

How freeing it was to dream of my future in a way that concludes with success and happiness. I am truly in awe of how completely heart expanding positivity can be.

Question of the Week #36 / What is on Your ‘What If ‘ List?

Create the life you want. Imagine it. Attract it. Don’t be scared to dream really big, I wasn’t.

Terri’s List of Positive What If’s:

• What if I have more than enough money and never need to worry about where it comes from again?
• What if I have a million blog readers?
• What if I am able to live life with ease and joy, every single day?
• What if I am paid more money than I know what to do with and have lots to give away?
• What if I earn huge amounts of income just by being the me I was always meant to be?
• What if I use my natural talents to help others find their way to happiness and fulfillment?
• What if I have all the time I need to learn more about the things that matter to me?
• What if I remain gloriously happy every single day?
• What if I’ve discovered the secret to living a joy-filled life and can help others find it?
• What if I write a book that makes the best seller list?
• What if all my dreams come true?

For more about learning to live life in the positive I suggest  the following books (some have been nothing less than life changers for me):

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers

End The Struggle and Dance With Life, Susan Jeffers

Embracing Uncertainty, Susan Jeffers

Daring Greatly, Brene Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown

The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

Happy for No Reason, Marci Shimoff

Did you know that all energy vibrates at a frequency? And your thoughts and feelings are what determine your personal frequency?

Within each of us we hold the power to attract good things into our lives. And all it takes to attract good things is to think positive thoughts. Conversely, if we let our negative thoughts rule our heads, we will begin to attract negative things. Becoming aware of the patterns and paths of our innermost thinking is a key ingredient to begin steering our life in the direction of our dreams.

I do not mean to insinuate that this process is easy, far from it, in fact. From experience I have learned that it isn't easy to change old habits and thinking patterns when you are aware of them. Imagine then, how impossible it would be for those who fail to pay attention to what they are really thinking. Getting out of a negative spiral is darn near impossible if we are sabotaging ourselves with second guessing, perfectionism, doubt, fear or criticism. Staying out is even harder.

In the past when things haven't been going my way --- say a new job is stressful, an old boss just doesn't get me, or I feel out-of-place amongst a group--- things always seem to get way worse, before they get better. Little did I know that I was in control of the speed at which good things began reappearing in my life, all I needed to do was control my own thoughts.

If you attract back to you the very things you think about, then even saying negative things out loud can call more negative to you. For example:

• I hate my job. More reasons to hate it come at you.
• No one here likes me. More dislike is directed at you.
• This is ridiculous. More ridiculousness comes your way.
• I can't do this. More things you can't do come across your path.
• I don't want to be here. More reasons pile up for you to want to leave, even things you once liked about your job.

Wherever your innermost thoughts are going they send out a vibration (a frequency) that attracts more of the same. Take a look around, are things going exactly like you wish them to in your life? If not, maybe it is time to re-examine what you are actually thinking about.

Question of the Week #34/ What is your Frequency?

Are you attracting what you want into your life? Try making positive changes in the way you think and see if positive changes begin happening. If you simply pay lip service to your new thoughts and don't really believe in them, or deep down think this crap won't work --then it won't. Your negative inner voice will steal the show. So make sure you can believe what you think.

This week I had the awesome experience of leading a vision board workshop at Gilda's Club.I have never been more inspired by a group of women. While I sometimes have a hard time answering the dreaded question "Who inspires you?" I found my answer there---real, authentic, regular everyday women telling their stories, baring their souls, expressing their fears and finding hope for their future. What a moving thing for a facilitator to experience.  There is no greater feeling for me.

Once upon a time it was only in my wildest dreams that I thought I could make a living using my natural talents to help people find whole body, mind + spirit wellness. Now, with positive thinking, it has become my life. Positive thinking = positive results.

Do you wish to begin operating at a higher frequency? If so, it is never too late.

It would be no news flash to those who know me that I have worked hard in the last few months to slow my life down. And lately, I've been feeling proud.

It is a rare, yet totally satisfying feeling for me to have about myself. As I have spent many hours digging deep, I have come to recognize a never before realized inner need for quiet. For "me" time. I'm proud that I now take time to be still, to listen to what my inner voice is saying, to appreciate, to breathe, to enjoy the moment. And I am able to know when I need that time to myself.  I have worked to be more spontaneous, to stop making so many plans, to just say "no" to things that don't align with my passions.

I love that I have learned to find joy in simple things I used to walk on by.

However, I might be in need of a balance check...apparently I am so "loose" now that I failed to notice that I wore two different colored shoes to work on Wednesday. According to my sister-in-law, that's a wardrobe malfunction of the worst kind, or in hindsight a reason to only buy one color of specific pair of shoes. (Hey---they were cute, comfortable and have lasted years!)

The weird thing to me is that I didn't even notice. And neither did anyone else. So maybe in my newfound appreciation of the world around me I had better glance down at my feet once in a while, eh? This honest mistake which took place right in front of me, below me, under me --- whatever --- led me to recognize an honest mistake that many people make every day.

They expend far too much energy on things out of their control.

I know, because I used to do it, too. If you let your thoughts go in the direction of  negative things, usually worrying about someone or something, or complaining about things you cannot do anything about--- it draws even more of those negative things to you.

I have been reading up on the Law of Attraction, learning about vibration and energy, and have realized the personal power of thinking differently.

Question of the Week #32 / Do You Put Energy Toward Things You Can Do Nothing About?

As a reformed (yes, I have graduated to that status) control freak, I know how much energy it takes to worry. I know all about the need for control -- in my case it was a safety thing. I thought for some reason it was my job to keep everyone around me safe, to prevent the worst case what if's from happening, to avert my family from possible physical danger and broken hearts. It didn't work.

As you can imagine not only was I wrong to think I could do this, it was impossible. For so long, my personal energy went to things that were completely out of my control. I was wasting all the space that I could have used for thinking good things, and filling it up with worry. Now I may have done this for "right" enough reasons, but it clearly was not my place and not good for me.  Or anyone else. I was wasting energy that could have been used for so many better things.

Point being...everyone needs to cultivate some quiet time to be able to hear what they are really thinking. If the inner you is a mean critic of yourself, you are feeding negative thoughts into the world, and attracting it all back to you.

If you are thinking the Law of Attraction is a bunch of hooey (like I once did), you've read the book The Secret, tried it, and it doesn't work -- I'll share the "secret" thing you may have missed. Even if you say positive things, believe you are thinking positive, act positive to those around you-- but your inner voice is still feeding you the negative .... I'm not worthy, I am not enough, I should have/could have done that better, then the inner voice will win every time.  You will be sending out the negative energy, and the negative will come back to you. In spades.

Why can't everyone just stop it then? Because we can't always hear ourselves. We all hide from our inner voice in different ways. For me, it was staying busy, keeping it at bay. For some it is doing for others, but never taking time to do for themselves. Whatever strategy you've developed over time to ignore that voice, you need to learn how to slow down and really listen.

Because if you aren't really listening to what your inner voice is thinking --- simply saying positive things but inside thinking the same old negative ones --nothing will change. You are going to have to dive deep, slow down, learn to listen to your real inner voice before you can truly change what you attract.

And the first step is to pay attention to where you are spending your energy -- your thinking energy. So, where is your energy going?

P.S. Clearly I am a work in progress, and have so much more to learn, absorb and observe. I'll start with this: Look down, check shoes.

"Worrying is using your imagination to create something you do not want."

Whether you are thinking about something happening now, or something that happened in your past or something you would like to happen in your future--you are doing the thinking now, and it is this present-thought vibration that the Law of Attraction is responding to. Therefore --your power to create is NOW. ---The Law Of Attraction Cards 

Have you thought about the way in which you think lately? Pessimistic, Optimistic, Skeptical, Hopeful....where do you fall in this mix?

Maybe before we delve into that, let's address an even more important question -- do you align with yourself? In other words---truly deep down do you believe in yourself, your power to create, your worth, your importance, your beauty or are you thinking negative thoughts about yourself that are stopping you from attracting the kind of energy you need to thrive?

When you are feeling like you just can't get moving forward, chances are you are not in alignment. We all have days, weeks, months heck maybe even years that we are out of alignment and we find ourselves struggling. Work is not right, our relationships are unhappy, we start moving in the direction of unhealthy habits (drinking too much, too often, or the big one, eating too much).

Don't start stressing just yet, this misalignment is something you can easily begin to work on. You can tackle it yourself, you can read books written by others who have been through something similar, or there are those who can help who by simply listening or talking to you. Therapists, spouses, healers, coaches.... there are so many options that you can turn to. The starting is point is to figure out what doesn't align in you. This can be really hard to do. It might involve facing a fear, taking a chance, being vulnerable, or letting something go that you have been holding onto tightly --pain, regret, guilt ---it involves being brutally honest with yourself, even if you think you might not like what you have to say. It's okay....we've all been there, too.

For me, it was about accepting me for the person I truly am. It was about facing the things I was afraid of most, and it was about tuning in to me and admitting there were things I didn't like about myself. It feels (felt) selfish at times to take time for me, but I believe it is what many people in the world need. Maybe it is even something you need.

One of my favorite quotes says it best:

Question of the Week #29 : What Are You Attracting?

So begin to pay attention to the way you think. Negative attracts negative. Controlling the universe, attempting to keep your family safe from well, everything, are really good ways to remain stuck. Letting go, living with an open heart, accepting yourself, getting to know yourself--now those are the ways to begin to live the life you've always dreamed of.

You have the power to change yourself. And in doing so, you will bring back the alignment within yourself --- you will become stronger, more grounded, authentic, honest -- and what you are looking for in your life will find YOU.

Start getting unstuck by changing the way you think. When you feel the same things keep happening over and over, evaluate what or how you are really thinking.

Here is a scenario that happens often, is this you? The car breaks down,  immediately you start thinking "oh no" what will go wrong next --  and you attract negative energy to yourself. Something always 'does' happen next right? Maybe even two somethings --as we often believe that things happen in three's. How can we not attract the next negative thing if we are waiting for it---actually looking for it--- thinking about it, attracting it, inviting it to us?

What if the thought process goes more like this when the car breaks down....thank goodness I wasn't out-of-town when this happened, I am so lucky that I have family close by to help me, or I am glad I saved that money I was going to use for my new < insert whatever>, now I can pay the repair bill.

See the shift? The positive response has gratitude, hope, and acceptance going for it. All positive things you need to attract positive happenings. So instead of another appliance breaking down --which is usually the case ---the next thing that might happen if you think positive is meeting a new friend, receiving a job offer, or hearing about a freelance job that will bring in the money you need to purchase whatever it was that you had been saving for.

Positive thinking works. Now, if you are thinking this law of attraction thing is just a bunch  of "hooey"-- I suggest you try it first.

I speak from experience.  I think differently now and Life is different now. Life is lighter, easier, happier, and I am more free than ever before. I'm free of the control that once gripped me. The worry, the fear, the inadequacy, the doubt. I can tell you for 100% certain that "Life is better in the light."

So what's really  in your head?

I'm excited to announce that tomorrow I will be adding a regular feature to my blog called: The Question of the Week.

The Question of the Week will be posted every Friday and is designed to encourage deeper thinking about yourself, your life, your passions, and your strengths & weaknesses. It is my hope that answering them will facilitate personal growth for all who participate.

Why dig deeper?

While I believe that it is never too late to begin understanding yourself, I also believe you should pay attention from a young age to the things that make you go “aha” and fill you with passionate energy. No matter what stage of life you are in, answering The Question of the Week will help you uncover your passions, highlight your interests and help you understand yourself better.  It may even help you determine what you want to be when you grow up, what you want to do next in life, or where you want to be ten years from now. Who knows, the life you truly desire might become clearer.

We all hope for happiness and personal fulfillment in our home lives and our work lives. The first step in achieving them is to truly begin to understand ourselves. And that takes commitment and courage. I challenge you to answer these 52 questions and to invest in your potential in 2013.

Because I know that together we can grow and keep each other on track, I will be answering the questions right along with you. I’d love to create a dialogue around our answers. Feel free to comment on the blog, email me privately, or share your thoughts with me in person if you know me in the real world….. I'm here to listen, to learn and to help.

First Question of the Week posts tomorrow. 7 am. Will you be ready?