I took a Zentangle class this past Monday with Nancy VanRooy through GR Parks and Recreation and when I pulled out my Zentangles again this morning, I felt like an artist.

That is a powerful feeling for a non-artist like me.

What I love most about taking a new class like this ---is the feeling of being successful. Not successful in the way of judging how my final creation looked compared to everyone else's, or in garnering accolades like "Ooh your Zentangle is fantastic, what a great job you did, you are a talented artist", but in how I felt while doing it.

This class made me feel creative, talented, and empowered. And days later I am still feeling like an artist.

'You can't do it wrong' are magic words for a recovering control freak with a perfectionistic streak.

They spell creative freedom to me. Permission to use my imagination. To feel my way through using intuition, not technique and to paint outside the lines if I want to.

And this permission up front to do it my way also completely silences my inner mean voice. There is no judgment, no comparison, no feeling that I stand out in all the wrong ways. Just quiet, happy acceptance at my efforts and pride in my work.

It is the difference between inner stress and inner peace in my body.

I have never been good at following complicated step by step processes. 'How to' books that show a detailed one stroke at a time procedure have never worked for me. (Maybe that is why I also dislike math so much). And why I never willingly volunteer to assemble or build anything or to keep detailed records, and maybe it even explains why I break so many things. My family likes to make fun of the way I open (destroy) boxes of cereal -- or bags of chips. Do those 'tear here' or 'open on the dotted lines' instructions ever really work for anyone?

What I love about Yoga, Zentangle & GROOVE -- is that you do it your way. With 100% permission to be unique. You are told to listen to your body and do what feels right, to morph your oopsies into something beautiful as there are no mistakes in Zentangle, or to uniquely express with your body what you hear in the music.

Each one of those phrases allows a sense of freedom and joy to bloom within me.

And my spirit has needed to feel this way for a very long time. As a highly sensitive person I dislike being compared, watched, graded, or judged more than you can imagine, especially when I do it to myself.

One of my favorite parts of the Zentangle class was seeing the uniqueness of everyone's tiles afterwards; not to "compare" mine to theirs, but to see how each woman there listened to the same instructions and yet created something different. No two tiles looked even close to the same.

And therein lies the beauty of creative freedom, and the power of permission in allowing someone to do it 'their way'.

As a yoga instructor it is my hope that no student ever thinks they have to look like the person on the mat next to them in a specific pose. Your pose should be as as unique to you as your DNA. It is not about how it looks on the outside, it is about how it feels on the inside.

Every time I step onto my mat to lead a yoga class, or take the floor to begin a GROOVE class, I hope I empower each student to do it 'their way' like Nancy did in our Zentangle class. What more does a person really need to flourish than permission to be uniquely themselves?

Start saying YES to whatever allows you to be more of your unique and beautiful self, and say NO to anything that dims your light. This small thing has immense life changing power. This I know.

I spent yesterday cleaning -- and I don't mean just the surface layer kind of house cleaning. I cleaned cupboards, countertops, closets, and drawers. The kind of cleaning I don't do enough of because it creates an even bigger mess in the house as I move from one room, one floor or one cupboard to the next emptying, sorting, stacking, restacking, and discarding "crap".

So much built up junk, where does it even come from?

In the course of my cleaning I ran across the new year's resolutions I made last January. I had intentionally kept my list simple so that maybe for once in my life I wouldn't feel as though I failed when I only accomplished a small portion of it.

I only made only two resolutions last year and one was just a word, call it a year long intention, that I would apply to all areas of my life. (I'm thinking after my experience yesterday that you wouldn't know it by the state of my cupboards and closets) but my word was to SIMPLIFY.

And, I have, in so many areas of my life. I scaled back on my possessions, my commitments, my responsibilities, my worries, my expectations of myself and others, everything I could simplify about my life I attempted. In doing so I gained a sense of freedom, an internal calm "space"  that made room for a whole lot of personal clarity. That clarity gave me the energy to tackle some things I secretly had been beating myself up about.

And all that led me to this week's question.

Question of the Week #48 / What Have You Done Differently This Past Year That You Are Proud Of?

I want you to reflect and focus on the things you managed to do differently this year, and not what you didn't get to.  For some of us that isn't easy as I immediately feel the need to tell you the resolution I did not accomplish-- clearly I have some personal work yet to do there... (Resolution number two was to cook more and to create another recipe book --- and that is definitely not happening in 2013).

Personally what makes me so proud it completely overshadows any niggling thoughts about what I didn't get to... is my personal growth in the last year, specifically my spiritual growth.

So take a moment to reflect on what you are proud of so far this year about yourself and your own growth. Then realize you still have one more month of this year to go...there is still time to take a step or two forward---if you feel you need to. Finish the year with some pride in your heart for yourself, I promise it feels really good.

Here is what I have done differently in 2013 that I am most proud of.

• I faced my fear of failure and tried many things that pushed me out of my safe zone. Like substitute teaching where there were new, completely different and not well defined rules in every classroom I walked into. (Talk about leaping out of your comfort zone).
• I was able to take control of the mean voice inside and allow myself to make mistakes, change my mind, say "no" to other people's requests and ask for help, after first admitting that I had self inflicted wounds I needed to heal from.
• I gave up the worry that ate me up inside and in its place I was able to cultivate so much gratitude for everything around me, especially my connection to nature and trees and water, that I was able to reclaim my spiritual side.
• I stopped attempting to control my world and gave in to allowing it to happen. Thus experiencing for maybe the first time since I was a kid, the sense of living life with ease and joy, the sense of floating with the current instead of paddling against it.

My friends I encourage you to Reflect. Recharge. Begin anew if necessary, and reclaim your personal pride and power. Today is a new day filled with endless possibilities.

Namaste.

Do you know what you want out of life? I presume you'd like to be happy -- most people would certainly choose being happy over being unhappy. Yet I bet you are sabotaging that happiness a little bit every day.

A few years back I was introduced to the Law of Attraction. I discounted it at first, thinking it sounded a little out there...."ask for what you want and the universe will provide it." Yeah, right....well the skeptical "yeah, right" part of my thinking was actually the only part of my thinking the universe heard. For a long time.

For example, my dream might have once been to write a book, but if I never actually wrote anything down, or ever started writing a book -- because I kept saying I didn't know where to start, the universe would give me back exactly what I was asking for in my thoughts ---confusion about where to start. So, no book.

How many times does this happen to you? You say you want one thing, only you think deep down that it will never work. Or you are stalled by a "yeah but" thought.... the kind that says it will never happen because it is only my dream-- it will never actually come true. Or I don't have enough talent or skill (or time) to do this and even if I did, no one would buy it/read it anyway. There are a multitude of ways that doubt, fear and negativity can creep in and ruin our good intentions.

Think about it this way. What if the universe gave you a response to every thought you have? That'd be sort of bad, right? I mean, we all have bad days...and bad things keep happening to us, and the next thing we know we are angry or sad and our thoughts end up in a negative place that even we aren't comfortable with.

Let's say that in this universe it is possible to get a response to every thought you send out. And negative thinking outweighs positive thinking every time. That means if you say one thing, and think another (negative) thought deep inside--the doubt, fear, criticism side will be heard and will attract that back to you.

How many times have you had a great idea, or mentioned that you really didn't like something that you were assigned to complete because it wasn't what you were good at or that you didn't like doing, only to have someone say something to the effect of: "Well we can't all do just what we want to do."

I've come to understand that is very negative thinking and just plain wrong. People say that only because they think they can't have what they want, or aren't able to do what they do easily.

But why? We actually can. But not when we don't trust in ourselves fully. The voice of doubt inside will attract exactly what you don't want--if you let it have free reign.

Question of the Week #37 / What Do You Really Want?

I encourage you to dig in and figure out what you really want...then think yourself there. Affirm it. Say it in the form of an affirmation, a positive, a now. Act as if it is truly on it's way to happening and don't let the inner doubt step up and ruin things. Success, romance, happiness, love, prosperity --- it is all within your reach. If I have learned nothing else it is that it is totally within my power to attract the life I want.

Looking for more on the subject, try reading or listening to one of these books:

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne , Ask and it is Given by Esther & Jerry Hicks, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay

Another aha moment. The only thing that has ever held me back from being all I was meant to be, is me. 

In Susan Jeffers’ book Embracing Uncertainty I ran across a ”What If” exercise she suggested her readers do. It was about facing your fears of uncertainty about the future. If I remember right, you were supposed to list your “what if” worries to help you figure out if you could handle the possible outcomes — and by getting those fears out, you could analyze whether or not you could indeed handle them, change them, or do anything about them  (thus eliminating their power). And then you were encouraged to simply let them go.

Before last November when I had my own version of a “breakdown” aka “spiritual awakening”, I used to practice what Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly, calls foreboding joy. Essentially I would imagine the worst case scenario of whatever was in front of me, so that I would not be vulnerable “unprepared to handle it” if my current state of happiness or safety changed on me. I would consider all possible outcomes to make sure I could indeed handle things ”if”, and more often than not I was preparing myself to handle negative outcomes. Talk about setting myself up for failure, not to mention the potential for the direction of my thoughts to attract more negativity into my life.

It seems so clear to me now why I felt like my life was spinning out of control— and why the joyful moments I felt were so fleeting. I was trying to control outcomes to situations that would likely never even occur. I was pushing away my current joy and fearing what might (or might not be) coming next.

So when I ran across the exercise in Embracing Uncertainty I adapted it for my new way of positive thinking about future outcomes. My What If list now represents what I need to be prepared to handle when I am a HUGE SUCCESS. I need to be ready for the JOY I know is coming my way.

How freeing it was to dream of my future in a way that concludes with success and happiness. I am truly in awe of how completely heart expanding positivity can be.

Question of the Week #36 / What is on Your ‘What If ‘ List?

Create the life you want. Imagine it. Attract it. Don’t be scared to dream really big, I wasn’t.

Terri’s List of Positive What If’s:

• What if I have more than enough money and never need to worry about where it comes from again?
• What if I have a million blog readers?
• What if I am able to live life with ease and joy, every single day?
• What if I am paid more money than I know what to do with and have lots to give away?
• What if I earn huge amounts of income just by being the me I was always meant to be?
• What if I use my natural talents to help others find their way to happiness and fulfillment?
• What if I have all the time I need to learn more about the things that matter to me?
• What if I remain gloriously happy every single day?
• What if I’ve discovered the secret to living a joy-filled life and can help others find it?
• What if I write a book that makes the best seller list?
• What if all my dreams come true?

For more about learning to live life in the positive I suggest  the following books (some have been nothing less than life changers for me):

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers

End The Struggle and Dance With Life, Susan Jeffers

Embracing Uncertainty, Susan Jeffers

Daring Greatly, Brene Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown

The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

Happy for No Reason, Marci Shimoff

Whether you are thinking about something happening now, or something that happened in your past or something you would like to happen in your future--you are doing the thinking now, and it is this present-thought vibration that the Law of Attraction is responding to. Therefore --your power to create is NOW. ---The Law Of Attraction Cards 

Have you thought about the way in which you think lately? Pessimistic, Optimistic, Skeptical, Hopeful....where do you fall in this mix?

Maybe before we delve into that, let's address an even more important question -- do you align with yourself? In other words---truly deep down do you believe in yourself, your power to create, your worth, your importance, your beauty or are you thinking negative thoughts about yourself that are stopping you from attracting the kind of energy you need to thrive?

When you are feeling like you just can't get moving forward, chances are you are not in alignment. We all have days, weeks, months heck maybe even years that we are out of alignment and we find ourselves struggling. Work is not right, our relationships are unhappy, we start moving in the direction of unhealthy habits (drinking too much, too often, or the big one, eating too much).

Don't start stressing just yet, this misalignment is something you can easily begin to work on. You can tackle it yourself, you can read books written by others who have been through something similar, or there are those who can help who by simply listening or talking to you. Therapists, spouses, healers, coaches.... there are so many options that you can turn to. The starting is point is to figure out what doesn't align in you. This can be really hard to do. It might involve facing a fear, taking a chance, being vulnerable, or letting something go that you have been holding onto tightly --pain, regret, guilt ---it involves being brutally honest with yourself, even if you think you might not like what you have to say. It's okay....we've all been there, too.

For me, it was about accepting me for the person I truly am. It was about facing the things I was afraid of most, and it was about tuning in to me and admitting there were things I didn't like about myself. It feels (felt) selfish at times to take time for me, but I believe it is what many people in the world need. Maybe it is even something you need.

One of my favorite quotes says it best:

Question of the Week #29 : What Are You Attracting?

So begin to pay attention to the way you think. Negative attracts negative. Controlling the universe, attempting to keep your family safe from well, everything, are really good ways to remain stuck. Letting go, living with an open heart, accepting yourself, getting to know yourself--now those are the ways to begin to live the life you've always dreamed of.

You have the power to change yourself. And in doing so, you will bring back the alignment within yourself --- you will become stronger, more grounded, authentic, honest -- and what you are looking for in your life will find YOU.

Start getting unstuck by changing the way you think. When you feel the same things keep happening over and over, evaluate what or how you are really thinking.

Here is a scenario that happens often, is this you? The car breaks down,  immediately you start thinking "oh no" what will go wrong next --  and you attract negative energy to yourself. Something always 'does' happen next right? Maybe even two somethings --as we often believe that things happen in three's. How can we not attract the next negative thing if we are waiting for it---actually looking for it--- thinking about it, attracting it, inviting it to us?

What if the thought process goes more like this when the car breaks down....thank goodness I wasn't out-of-town when this happened, I am so lucky that I have family close by to help me, or I am glad I saved that money I was going to use for my new < insert whatever>, now I can pay the repair bill.

See the shift? The positive response has gratitude, hope, and acceptance going for it. All positive things you need to attract positive happenings. So instead of another appliance breaking down --which is usually the case ---the next thing that might happen if you think positive is meeting a new friend, receiving a job offer, or hearing about a freelance job that will bring in the money you need to purchase whatever it was that you had been saving for.

Positive thinking works. Now, if you are thinking this law of attraction thing is just a bunch  of "hooey"-- I suggest you try it first.

I speak from experience.  I think differently now and Life is different now. Life is lighter, easier, happier, and I am more free than ever before. I'm free of the control that once gripped me. The worry, the fear, the inadequacy, the doubt. I can tell you for 100% certain that "Life is better in the light."

So what's really  in your head?

So this week has been pretty busy. And also pretty energizing.

I had the opportunity to be a small part of making TEDxGR 2013 happen yesterday. What that team of volunteers pulled off simply blows my mind. I have so many people to thank for bringing their incredible talents to the table and executing it close to perfection. (More on this later).

I'm exhausted though, and way behind on life. So,  I'm taking it easy this week and asking a random question....

Question of the Week #19 / If You Could Own One Article of Clothing From Any Film Ever Made, What Would You Take?

I told you it was random. But when I saw this question I had an immediate answer.

Dorothy's shoes.

I'd want those shoes sit on my shelf and remind me of what can be done when a person puts their own power behind something. Their passion. Their energy. Their vision.

We all have the power within us to accomplish our dreams.

I saw so many examples yesterday at TEDxGR that came to fruition or are on their way to happening. From everyone I ran into: the speakers at TEDxGR, the volunteers, the attendees, the performers, and the core team who pulled it off.

I'm. So. Inspired.

And now equally empowered to accomplish my dream.

In the words of the Good Witch:  "You had the power all along, my dear!"

Tag---You're it!