"What does your mom do all day?"

That is what my son's friend asked as they drove up north to our cottage yesterday. Through the eyes of a typical 18-year-old semi-addicted to her cell phone, a day of sitting alone on a dock by the water in the sun, with a book and a notepad sounded like drudgery. Boredom. Geekness, I think she even said.

To me, it is heaven. Add a little wine and a deep conversation and you have a perfect day.

I had to smile at her response.  How would she know that someday she will want this time. It might be years from now, but she will someday want -- no need-- this time for herself to be still. It will be necessary. Vital. Especially if she is a wife, mom and working girl and heading towards her mid-forties or later.

I realize that I never taught my kids to pay attention to their minds much. At least not the quieting of them. I was more about the doing, unfortunately. Because now I see that understanding mindfulness, and personal time and being able to listen to your inner voice, is KEY to happiness.

Without this understanding, how would she know that someday she is going to want the quiet, the stillness, the alone time to just be, to reconnect with herself?

This summer I have taken advantage of any day like that I can. I know they won't last, I won't be granted this little slice of heaven for long. So I am being selfish.

And I am so grateful for this time doing "nothing"..

It would be no news flash to those who know me that I have worked hard in the last few months to slow my life down. And lately, I've been feeling proud.

It is a rare, yet totally satisfying feeling for me to have about myself. As I have spent many hours digging deep, I have come to recognize a never before realized inner need for quiet. For "me" time. I'm proud that I now take time to be still, to listen to what my inner voice is saying, to appreciate, to breathe, to enjoy the moment. And I am able to know when I need that time to myself.  I have worked to be more spontaneous, to stop making so many plans, to just say "no" to things that don't align with my passions.

I love that I have learned to find joy in simple things I used to walk on by.

However, I might be in need of a balance check...apparently I am so "loose" now that I failed to notice that I wore two different colored shoes to work on Wednesday. According to my sister-in-law, that's a wardrobe malfunction of the worst kind, or in hindsight a reason to only buy one color of specific pair of shoes. (Hey---they were cute, comfortable and have lasted years!)

The weird thing to me is that I didn't even notice. And neither did anyone else. So maybe in my newfound appreciation of the world around me I had better glance down at my feet once in a while, eh? This honest mistake which took place right in front of me, below me, under me --- whatever --- led me to recognize an honest mistake that many people make every day.

They expend far too much energy on things out of their control.

I know, because I used to do it, too. If you let your thoughts go in the direction of  negative things, usually worrying about someone or something, or complaining about things you cannot do anything about--- it draws even more of those negative things to you.

I have been reading up on the Law of Attraction, learning about vibration and energy, and have realized the personal power of thinking differently.

Question of the Week #32 / Do You Put Energy Toward Things You Can Do Nothing About?

As a reformed (yes, I have graduated to that status) control freak, I know how much energy it takes to worry. I know all about the need for control -- in my case it was a safety thing. I thought for some reason it was my job to keep everyone around me safe, to prevent the worst case what if's from happening, to avert my family from possible physical danger and broken hearts. It didn't work.

As you can imagine not only was I wrong to think I could do this, it was impossible. For so long, my personal energy went to things that were completely out of my control. I was wasting all the space that I could have used for thinking good things, and filling it up with worry. Now I may have done this for "right" enough reasons, but it clearly was not my place and not good for me.  Or anyone else. I was wasting energy that could have been used for so many better things.

Point being...everyone needs to cultivate some quiet time to be able to hear what they are really thinking. If the inner you is a mean critic of yourself, you are feeding negative thoughts into the world, and attracting it all back to you.

If you are thinking the Law of Attraction is a bunch of hooey (like I once did), you've read the book The Secret, tried it, and it doesn't work -- I'll share the "secret" thing you may have missed. Even if you say positive things, believe you are thinking positive, act positive to those around you-- but your inner voice is still feeding you the negative .... I'm not worthy, I am not enough, I should have/could have done that better, then the inner voice will win every time.  You will be sending out the negative energy, and the negative will come back to you. In spades.

Why can't everyone just stop it then? Because we can't always hear ourselves. We all hide from our inner voice in different ways. For me, it was staying busy, keeping it at bay. For some it is doing for others, but never taking time to do for themselves. Whatever strategy you've developed over time to ignore that voice, you need to learn how to slow down and really listen.

Because if you aren't really listening to what your inner voice is thinking --- simply saying positive things but inside thinking the same old negative ones --nothing will change. You are going to have to dive deep, slow down, learn to listen to your real inner voice before you can truly change what you attract.

And the first step is to pay attention to where you are spending your energy -- your thinking energy. So, where is your energy going?

P.S. Clearly I am a work in progress, and have so much more to learn, absorb and observe. I'll start with this: Look down, check shoes.

"Worrying is using your imagination to create something you do not want."

So can I tell you something that's not really a secret (it feels like one) but is just really weird for me to say, before I give you the question of the week?

{Big sigh.} I quit. I'm not a quitter, but I quit.

As in... I resigned from the job I've had for one year. I work for a really really great place, with talented people, who do awesomely creative printing, and who have all the forward-thinking potential I desire in an employer. And yet, I up and quit.

Am I in the throes of a mid-life crisis? No. Yes. Maybe? I'm actually not sure. All I know is that I needed to make a change, because it wasn't working for me. I'll share more on this later, but I wanted you to know that I don't pretend to have the answers, I just like asking the questions. And answering them, too.  I'm on a mission to align who I feel I am on the inside with what I "do" on the outside.

Here is Question #3 : If you had a whole day to yourself, to do anything you wanted....how would you spend it?

(Don't be practical and think that you have to take a vacation day to do this, or get a babysitter to watch the kids for the day so you can make the most of it, just think a whole day for you, a "free" day-- to do whatever YOU want. What would you do?)

Here's what I'd do:

• I'd walk and/or do yoga in the morning
• I'd catch up on facebook, and twitter and lots of blogposts I don't have time to read
• I'd cook something yummy
• I'd clean the house so it sparkled, unless I was at the cottage...then I'd be out in the sun or behind the boat as soon as possible
• I'd write;  a blogpost, a feature article, something
• I'd read, take notes, and learn
• I'd have friends and/or family over for dinner and karaoke (as long as my kids were there to sing with me)
• I'd hold hands with my husband, cuddle and smile, a lot

I'm good with low-key and slow. With time to breathe. And to think. And to create. And to appreciate.

I can't wait to hear what you'd spend your free day doing.