I was recently reminded that things happen for a reason, and more often than not, differently than we expected them to.

I used to be a control freak, trying to plan out my days to finish my dreaded and daunting To Do list, bent on achievement. My self-care time was always put on hold until I finished this and that, or made headway on a certain project or idea. As a result, there was no me time for me to refuel and re-balance. It was not a thriving lifestyle, it was exhausting.

These days I have slowed it all down, my life, my list, my expectations--- everything. And yet I still crave more freedom, more spontaneity and more "me" time. How do I know? I made an I AM Vision Board this past weekend. It was a small group who showed up to tune in, but a powerful one. It gave me a chance to participate in the process and to recognize how making  time for yourself, to listen, to tune in, always unveils patterns we have missed.

Reading my own board, I recognize that my inner world is very peaceful now but my outer world feels messy, unorganized, stale. I crave more simplicity, less clutter, (some new home furnishings it appears) and relaxation time with no agenda.

Creating this unique roadmap for myself will allow me a chance to put forth the best version of myself, so my family, my students, my corner of the world gets the best "me" I can be. I look forward to the changes that will come as I use my vision board to guide my choices.

I am always humbled by the wisdom we all have within us, if only we make time to listen to it.

As the new year approaches we have a chance to wipe the slate clean again and start over. I highly recommend tune in time to make your own vision board, choosing your three words to live by (and not setting resolutions), and creating a framework for a year of growth and re-connection with your true/best self.

Next Vision Board opportunity with me is on Friday, December 8 from 6:30-9:30 pm. Check out the Soulistic Sisters events calendar for registration details.

Most of us are leaders in one way or another. Some of us don't lead corporations, or troops, or inspire trends in the fashion industry, yet we all have the potential to be influencers of those around us, especially those we love. In fact, we never truly know who is watching, imitating, learning from or listening to us. Our reactions/responses to situations, both good and bad, are often life lessons for others, and hopefully most of them aren't lessons about what not to do.

A few years back I was a chronic worrier and the stress of always thinking ahead to what might happen then trying to prevent it, affected me physically and emotionally. I became someone I was not, a critical, unhappy, burned out mess. My insides constantly felt like they were going to fall out (I carry my stress in my gut), I had trouble sleeping, and all I could do was see the negative of every situation. I allowed my fears, worries and expectations to get the best of my emotions, and the best of me.

One of the biggest catalysts in my life was making a Vision Board in 2011. I went into the process blindly, not knowing what to expect, which turned out to be the best thing for me. For once I didn't over think it, I just trusted the process as it happened. What came out on my board made no immediate sense to me, yet a few years later so much has changed. That Vision Board sparked so many changes and set the wheels in motion for me to make healthier and happier life choices. My career, my outlook on life, my relationships. my level of inner peace, and my health are all so much better now.

I realize the "control" I once clung to was a mirage, a quagmire of crap I concocted to keep myself safe from failing, from getting hurt, and ultimately from succeeding. I have since figured out I have no control over anything except how I respond to the life I have. And, that my happiness level is completely up to me.

I want to be known as a person exactly opposite of who I once became. One who is a joy to be around, who brings a healing and peaceful vibe with her into all situations. One who allows life to happen (without constant resistance), who appreciates all she has and never loses faith in herself or those she loves.  It took a while for me to figure out my personal prescription for wellness, but once I did, I am now able to maintain (and keep) a deep sense of inner peace. I think I have finally grown into a better version of me.

The Vision Board Process worked for me, so I know it can work for you also. If you are interested in making some life changes and trust me to help that process along, here are two upcoming chances to Vision Board with me:

Saturday, January 30 from 9:00 am -12:30 pm at Inspirations of Art Studio (spots are nearly full) $35 early registration| $45 after Jan. 20. Register with me by sending an email to terri@getoffgo.com or calling 616-446-7147.

Saturday, February 13 from 11:00 am- 2:30 pm at Armentality Movement Arts Center. Advance Registration /$45 ***Invite a lady friend that can benefit from this workshop for 1/2 Tuition | After February 6 /$55Register at Armentality.com or call 616-550-8244.

I hope to see your beautiful soul around the table at one of my workshops. It is never too late to grow + change and to live the life you've always dreamed of. You deserve it!
 

Given a free month, and time to do whatever I want, I’d write a book. I’d write the majority of it at my cottage where life somehow simplifies. I’ve let this little beauty of a “dream” roll off my tongue into the real world a few times lately.Dreaming out loud is something I have done a lot in the last few years, so I am no longer surprised when the person I choose to share my dream with gives me the squinty-eyed look of doubt. Is this just another of her crazy ideas?

I don’t blame them. I’ve had many ideas that never got off go. Truth is: I doubt myself. I use dreaming out loud as a step one process to see if those hearing my idea think I could do it. If they seem confident that I could do it, I get more excited and confident as well. Not an ideal way to craft your future.

“I believe I can fly” is what I chose as my motto a few month’s back.

It is less of a motto and more of a pump-me-up, give me confidence kind of theme song, I suppose. An acknowledgment that I lack confidence in myself to truly deliver on my dreams, and a reminder to myself that I know I have the power in me.

I am still convincing myself that I can truly fly.

Now believing that YOU can fly, and seeing exactly how YOU might do it, is not a problem for me. To me, your path, your success, your dots connect right in front of me --- and mine seem to dissipate with each lift of someone’s eyebrow, just before one of the dreaded questions comes at me, what training do you have in this, what makes you an expert at this, what makes you think you can do this?

I hate questions like that. It’s like the little voice inside of me (the one that is always there, always asking) gains strength when someone in the real world asks me as well, and instantly my dream(s) poof. My confidence goes, and in rolls the next idea.

Why is it so hard to believe in myself?

Yet, the idea of writing a book is sticking. When I stop accomplishing, and take things off my plate, I can feel the urge to write. When doubt wriggles in about whether I have the ability or the expertise, I rationalize that no one needs to read it, I really just need to write it. That makes me feel better. Like I won’t let anyone down if it isn’t good.

But there is something else that keeps pulling me back to a book. It’s the support of those who know me best, those who tell me to just start writing already. The husband that sells his beloved musical equipment little by little to pay the house payment, so I have this time to myself to create.

And it’s the absence of a brow lift or a squinty eyed look from those who love me when I dream this dream out loud that give me confidence that I can indeed do it.

It no longer seems like a dream hanging way out there, it is starting to feel like a dream that wants to get out.

So now which book? Yes, there are lots of words rolling around in this girl’s head. Which book do I write first? A well-known author advises: “Write the book you need to read”.

Great advice, except I have needed to read SO many books in the past few months/years. The one about healing a family from the wounds of their 16-year old son’s toxic dating relationship, the one about getting off the accomplishment train and into your life before it is too late, the one about learning to accept and embrace the grey of life ---and stop seeing it in black and white, or the one about how to go about reacquainting yourself with “you” when you reach mid-life, then fully appreciating and accepting that person.

At the rate I am going, I will have a bookcase full of books I needed to read on my to do list to write.

And maybe, just maybe, once I begin, I will truly start believing that ‘I can fly’.

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