Of course I really don’t know the secret of life, but I have learned the hard way we make life more difficult than it has to be. To me, the answers you seek come when you stop trying to be something or someone you are not, when you quit wishing or thinking you need to be different than you already are. Accepting who you are, just as you are, is the key to greater happiness.

I wish my formative years in school had taught me more about how to figure out who I was at my core, or showed me how to embrace and utilize the talents that made me unique, instead of instilling a feeling of lack in me because of my differences. For years I tried so hard to be like everyone else, only to find I didn’t even like the person I became. I wanted in that moment of realization to go back to the days of my youth, before I convinced myself I was not enough, to sit under my favorite tree and breathe, daydream, and just be happy in my own skin. It was in those early years and those quiet moments I recall not “trying” at anything, and in those times of just “being”, I was happy and I was enough.

After I started on my ridiculous quest to be “perfect”, the noisy voice in my head constantly told me I needed to do better. I was always striving, achieving, comparing, and judging myself against everyone I met. I kept myself busy “doing”, so the mean voice would have nothing to complain about. It didn’t stop her, and it became overwhelmingly exhausting to stay ahead of the inner reproach I heard. When I came across a person with great natural talent, I did not celebrate their talent with them as I should have, I worried that I did not possess the same. I judged myself and deemed myself lacking in every area. It went on so long I truly believed I had no natural talents at all, and considered myself a failure.

I wish I had been taught at a young age that talent comes in all shapes and sizes, that not everyone needs to like or be smart at math, to remember dates in history, or to know their geography. If I could gather up all the time I wasted trying to shore up my weaknesses and instead had focused it on what I did easily, what might be different for me today? Maybe I would have written that book by now. Why do we not show our little ones that natural talents can be things like inclusivity, empathy, creativity? My sensitivity is a natural talent; I understand that now. Being highly sensitive to your surroundings, to energy around you, knowing what people mean even if they aren’t speaking the words out loud, seeing the big picture, making connections quickly, having the ability to adjust things to make others feel comfortable, those are not things everyone is born able to do. I wish I would have accepted these as my natural talents a long time ago.

Certain talents are more outwardly recognized and appreciated, especially in work situations. But all talents deserve to be applauded and utilized. In my opinion a baker who creates unique creations without a recipe is just as talented as a robotics engineer. We all have our own innate abilities, and those are what make us unique beings. I believe everyone is their happiest when they are working from their strengths.

I guess what I am really saying is, the secret to happiness is within all of us. We all need to uncover, discover and utilize our own natural talents. The talents that lie deep within us need to be shared in order for us to shine. Life is not supposed to be lived continually swimming upstream, rather it should be doing what we do best, and flowing through life with happiness and ease.

I hope in leading by example I can illuminate this lesson to others; the power is within you. Are you ready to unlock your own secret of life, find your natural talents, and put them to use? The time is NOW.

You know how thinking back over time you can recognize life changing moments, doors that you went through that changed your life forever?

I had one today.

Someone I love (but haven't seen for a while) asked me how I was doing via a short text conversation.

And I immediately answered back: I'm the best I have ever been.

And damn if I didn't mean it. Wholeheartedly. Honestly. Joyfully.

I am doing great. I feel good. NO, I feel great. I feel at peace. I feel purposeful. I feel loved. I feel happy. I feel at ease with me.

It is the best feeling in the world. It is like I got new glasses with a stronger prescription and I can finally see the leaves on the trees again.

Everything is beautiful. Everything makes sense. Everything is going to be okay.

Just needed to share this so I never forget. And so you'd know there is always hope that you can make changes for the better, too.

Did you know that all energy vibrates at a frequency? And your thoughts and feelings are what determine your personal frequency?

Within each of us we hold the power to attract good things into our lives. And all it takes to attract good things is to think positive thoughts. Conversely, if we let our negative thoughts rule our heads, we will begin to attract negative things. Becoming aware of the patterns and paths of our innermost thinking is a key ingredient to begin steering our life in the direction of our dreams.

I do not mean to insinuate that this process is easy, far from it, in fact. From experience I have learned that it isn't easy to change old habits and thinking patterns when you are aware of them. Imagine then, how impossible it would be for those who fail to pay attention to what they are really thinking. Getting out of a negative spiral is darn near impossible if we are sabotaging ourselves with second guessing, perfectionism, doubt, fear or criticism. Staying out is even harder.

In the past when things haven't been going my way --- say a new job is stressful, an old boss just doesn't get me, or I feel out-of-place amongst a group--- things always seem to get way worse, before they get better. Little did I know that I was in control of the speed at which good things began reappearing in my life, all I needed to do was control my own thoughts.

If you attract back to you the very things you think about, then even saying negative things out loud can call more negative to you. For example:

• I hate my job. More reasons to hate it come at you.
• No one here likes me. More dislike is directed at you.
• This is ridiculous. More ridiculousness comes your way.
• I can't do this. More things you can't do come across your path.
• I don't want to be here. More reasons pile up for you to want to leave, even things you once liked about your job.

Wherever your innermost thoughts are going they send out a vibration (a frequency) that attracts more of the same. Take a look around, are things going exactly like you wish them to in your life? If not, maybe it is time to re-examine what you are actually thinking about.

Question of the Week #34/ What is your Frequency?

Are you attracting what you want into your life? Try making positive changes in the way you think and see if positive changes begin happening. If you simply pay lip service to your new thoughts and don't really believe in them, or deep down think this crap won't work --then it won't. Your negative inner voice will steal the show. So make sure you can believe what you think.

This week I had the awesome experience of leading a vision board workshop at Gilda's Club.I have never been more inspired by a group of women. While I sometimes have a hard time answering the dreaded question "Who inspires you?" I found my answer there---real, authentic, regular everyday women telling their stories, baring their souls, expressing their fears and finding hope for their future. What a moving thing for a facilitator to experience.  There is no greater feeling for me.

Once upon a time it was only in my wildest dreams that I thought I could make a living using my natural talents to help people find whole body, mind + spirit wellness. Now, with positive thinking, it has become my life. Positive thinking = positive results.

Do you wish to begin operating at a higher frequency? If so, it is never too late.

 

"I'm fine." We say it often, but do we really mean it?

It is sometimes code for 'I'm not great but it's easier for all if we just pretend things are okay'. (Or at least that is how it seems to me.)

Last year I listened to a book on cd called "Happy For No Reason" by Marci Shimoff. While I won't say it changed my life, other things did that, I will say I was inspired by the book and learned a lot from it.

This week's question comes from that book.

How Happy Are You?/ Question of the Week #12

Take the Happy for No Reason Questionnaire (taken directly from the book Happy For No Reason).

 Rate each statement on a scale of 1 to 5:

1 = Not at all true

2 = Slightly true

3 = Moderately true

4 = Mostly true

5 = Absolutely true

1. I often feel happy and satisfied for no particular reason.

1 2 3 4 5

2. I live in the moment.

1 2 3 4 5

3. I feel alive, vital, and energetic.

1 2 3 4 5

4. I experience a deep sense of inner peace and well-being.

1 2 3 4 5

5. Life is a great adventure for me.

1 2 3 4 5

6. I don’t let bad situations keep me down.

1 2 3 4 5

7. I am enthusiastic about the things I do.

1 2 3 4 5

8. Most days I have an experience of laughter or joy.

1 2 3 4 5

9. I trust that this is a friendly universe.

1 2 3 4 5

10. I look for the gift or the lesson in everything that

happens.

1 2 3 4 5

11. I am able to let go and forgive.

1 2 3 4 5

12. I feel love for myself.

1 2 3 4 5

13. I look for the good in every person.

1 2 3 4 5

14. I change the things I can and accept the things I

can’t change.

1 2 3 4 5

15. I surround myself with people who support me.

1 2 3 4 5

16. I don’t blame others or complain.

1 2 3 4 5

17. My negative thoughts don’t overshadow me.

1 2 3 4 5

18. I feel a general sense of gratitude.

1 2 3 4 5

19. I feel connected to something bigger than myself.

1 2 3 4 5

20. I feel inspired by a sense of purpose in my life.

1 2 3 4 5

Scoring section:

If your score is 80–100: To a great degree, you are Happy for No Reason.

If your score is 60–79: You have a good measure of being Happy for No Reason.

If your score is 40–59: You have glimpses of being Happy for No Reason.

If your score is under 40: You have little experience of being Happy for No Reason.

When I first took this test over a year ago I had just started my "new" job. I had spent 24 years doing the same job and I was ready and excited for a change. I was happy, especially to be doing something new, to be learning new things, and to be feeling like I could make a difference. I was happy for good reason.

When I retested today I found out that even though I have no "for sure" plan and no steady income, I am even happier today. To a great degree, I am happy for no reason.

According to Shimoff's book you can be:

Unhappy (depressed)

Happy for Bad Reason (like high from addictions---external influences)

Happy for Good Reason (satisfaction from healthy experiences)

Happy for No Reason (inner state of peace and well-being --internal influences)

So how did you score? And how happy are you really? Do you find yourself smiling and energized at random times throughout the day? Do you feel peaceful when you wake up and then again when you go to sleep? Or is your happiness dependent on an external factor or a direct result of something you experienced; a great workout, dinner with friends, a date with your loved one?

Take time to examine your level of happiness and make sure you are working your way toward being happy for no reason. If you aren't anywhere close to being happy--then maybe it is time for a change.

Fore more thoughtful ways to improve your own happiness level I highly recommend getting a copy of the book Happy For No Reason.

Everyone has a story to tell. And I believe everyone has a story worth sharing. I shared mine on my When I Grow Up Blog. If you have time, hop on over to check it out.I would love to hear yours.

Until recently I would have said, sure I am. Because I was happy in most areas of my life. My husband is rockin' cute, I have more material things than I really need (including a cottage and a boat) my kids are healthy and mostly happy, I have fantastic friends and a super cool extended family. But something still was not quite right. When I said I was happy, something was missing.

For one thing, I had lost the passion I had once had for my job. Now some people say you don't have to have passion for your job, it is after all just a job, a way to pay the bills. And maybe for a while I even convinced myself that this was true and I could handle that. I reasoned that I needed to make money, and could not afford to make a job change and take less than the level I had already achieved, even if it meant I'd be happier.

Luckily for me I came to my senses. I made a change because I realized that being unhappy at work was slowly killing me. It was sapping my energy and attracting negativity back to me. So, I made a switch.

Since the day I quit, I have never looked back. (Okay there was that one day when I was sure I could not handle the pace, but besides that, I have been super sure of my decision!)

Ask me now if I am living a happy life and I will answer with a huge "YES, I am Happy!" because I am now operating on all cylinders.

Passion, purpose + happiness.

I have a job that I love, reasonable goals to achieve to satisfy those I work for, and better yet, a sense that I belong with, and am welcomed by my colleagues. My opinions are considered, my ideas are at the very least given an audience, and best case scenario will someday be utilized. That is a dream come true for me! Combine that with digging the people I work with and for, and you have a recipe for happiness. For me anyway.

Having that happiness makes a huge difference in how I face each day. Postitive attracts positive, and I not only say this, I totally believe this. Because it has happened to me.

Reconsider my question... are you living a happy life?

And then, if need be, don't be afraid to make some changes in your life.