You know how thinking back over time you can recognize life changing moments, doors that you went through that changed your life forever?

I had one today.

Someone I love (but haven't seen for a while) asked me how I was doing via a short text conversation.

And I immediately answered back: I'm the best I have ever been.

And damn if I didn't mean it. Wholeheartedly. Honestly. Joyfully.

I am doing great. I feel good. NO, I feel great. I feel at peace. I feel purposeful. I feel loved. I feel happy. I feel at ease with me.

It is the best feeling in the world. It is like I got new glasses with a stronger prescription and I can finally see the leaves on the trees again.

Everything is beautiful. Everything makes sense. Everything is going to be okay.

Just needed to share this so I never forget. And so you'd know there is always hope that you can make changes for the better, too.

I may or may not have asked this week's question already in one of my 32 previous questions ---honestly, it doesn't matter if I did. A good question needs to be asked over and over again. Depending on your immediate life circumstances, financial situation, mood, heck even the phase of the moon, your answer to it may vary. Or, if you are lucky, it will stay the same, thus giving you clarity. Ask yourself a question enough times, and a pattern eventually unfolds. And patterns are full of great insight.

At least that is how it works for me.

All forward motion for me starts with a "buzz" these days, a feeling of energy that I am "onto" something. My track record does show I have made a few wrong turns and discovered a few dead ends recently -- but I have followed them with surety, always guided by signs I cannot deny.

I used to get mad at myself for taking the wrong turn. Until I realized these little jaunts off the beaten path were life lessons I needed to experience. They are all meant to be, and it is 100% normal to experience them on a journey to self-discovery.

It is all part of the process of becoming aware. Of learning to listen to our inner voice, to dig out our true path.

My version of learning to read the roadsigns in front of me is this: when my buzz fizzles out quickly, I know immediately I am off track. When it takes longer, my warning sign is the feeling that what once "buzzed" me, now seems to drain me.

Take enough wrong turns, learn to pay attention, ask yourself enough questions and soon you will be able to know when you are on the right path. The buzz is constant. You feel energized, not zapped. You lose track of time, you don't catch yourself watching the clock. You crave doing that same thing over and over again, instead of finding excuses not to do it.

When I am aligned with my true path, I now feel it. Goosebumps are constant. I feel alive, like I am buzzing. Life is easy. It is a state I want to stay in.

The question I use to reassess after discovering I made a wrong turn or ran into a dead end is this:

What Makes You Feel Totally Alive? / Question of the Week #33

As with anything that matters, it takes practice to train your mind, body + soul to become aware of this alive feeling.

So you will need to start paying attention to the People, Places & Things that fuel you, if you haven't already started doing this.

• Which people in your life make you feel alive, build you up, inspire you, energize you, foster growth in you? In other words, you wish to be around them.
• What places relax you, allow you to think, dream, and receive clarity? In other words, you feel pulled there, often.
• What things are you doing when you feel at your very best, totally confident, happy, and at ease? In other words, you feel you don't get to do them often enough.

Start thinking about what brings the positive buzz into your world and maybe even start a list  in your journal. This will make it easier to recognize patterns, to connect your own dots later.

And once you pay attention to what it feels like to be on the right path, you will not want to venture too far off it. You will be full of wonder and gratitude at the incredible life you've been blessed with.

When is the last time you felt truly alive? What fills you up?

"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls." -Joseph Campbell

Most of you who read my blog know that I have been on a mission for the last few years to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

I thought I would be there by now. I'm not.

Instead I find myself like a kid in a candy store. So excited to try everything new that comes into view. I am dizzy with the love of learning. I find myself energized to learn more about anything and everything that interests me. (Even stuff I didn't think even interested me before.) I have read so many books, listened to stacks of books on tape, and my subject matter is so varied I'm pretty sure the people at the library think I am a little nuts. (Hooray for library books being free to check out).

I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't been allowed, or allowed myself this opportunity to just "be" for a while, to take the time to figure myself out -- especially now that I can see clearly how much I needed it.

Lately I have been able to use what I have learned to help others in need of figuring themselves out. What a fantastic feeling!

If not for the "little" detail of having to contribute money into our bank account sometime soon, all would be at peace in me. I love using what I know to encourage, motivate and help others move forward. You know that question that people ask: What would you do for FREE because you love it? That is what I would do for free: help people understand themselves and give them strategies to help them move forward. It is what I love to do. It is what makes me feel like I make a difference.

In the past 5 months I have learned so much about myself. And it has helped me understand others so much better.

I've learned about Strength. Shame. Fears. Purpose. Passion. Energy. Love. Surrender. Serendipity. Trust. Natural talents. Positivity. Happiness. And Joy.

Once I took the first step forward to begin facing a few of my longtime fears, it helped me realize that what I needed to do most-- was let go. To stop wasting so much energy trying to take control of things that were clearly not for me to worry about.  Once I started letting go of the control, and began slowing my life down, I was able to see what it is that I do best (and easily).

I am at heart a coach and facilitator, an educator and a mentor, a catalyst for forward motion and growth.

I believe I have now found my "sweet spot".

For a long time I ignored that I had a sweet spot because I could not see how it would help me find that next job/that encore career. I focused instead on all the skills a resume screams for, and I failed to acknowledge that I have a talent for understanding people, for asking questions that open them up to new ways of thinking, and for helping them learn to help themselves.

It has always been easy for me to champion the potential of others, now I need to learn to believe in me.

You see even after discovering what my "element" was, I slowed my own forward progress because I listened to the dark voice inside that convinced  me I was not good enough, or that I needed a different college degree to prove my worth, or that I couldn't possibly go into business doing what I love to do and being successful at it.

And yet, here I am. Poised to move in the direction of my dreams. That vision board of 4 years ago is finally making sense....

Ironic that in trying to figure out what I wanted to "do" next, what I want to "be" when I grew up, I discovered something even greater. I discovered who I really am at the core.

I am not at the place I thought I would be by now.

Instead... I'm in an even better place. Comfortable in my own skin, for maybe the first time ever.

Question of the Week #26 / When was the last time you did something for the first time?

This week's Question of the Week came to me after skimming through a book that a friend recently loaned to me. (Thank you, Alana).

When I flipped through the book The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown for the first time, one of the sub headings Hope and Powerlessness jumped out at me. For the past four months I have made it a point to pay close attention to "signs" that continually happen around me. For example, words that keep popping up in random conversations, or similar ideas/suggestions that come from friends, family or new acquaintances. When I consciously notice them, and follow-up with some research, those "signs" often lead me in new direction. Some "signs" become almost impossible to ignore once you train yourself to listen for them.

So the word powerlessness or its shortened form "power" has cropped up a lot lately in my deep discussions. The need to find our power within, to  listen to the voice that comes out of that power, and maybe most importantly to act on it. To me, that moves a person from a powerless situation into a power "full" one. I hate being stuck, helpless or watching others struggle or become victims to their life's circumstances -- I am all about finding the power to move on and to move forward. So I read (yes you correctly assume I did not start this book at the beginning) a little further into the book and learned something new I hadn't thought of before.

Brown explains that like most people, she always thought of hope as an emotion --a warm feeling of optimism and possibility. But has since learned she was wrong...

Hope is not an emotion; it's a way of thinking or a cognitive process. In very simple terms, hope happens when:

• We have the ability to set realistic goals (I know where I want to go).
• We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes (I know how to get there, I'm persistent, and I can tolerate disappointment and try again).
• We believe in ourselves (I can do this).

Hope is really a combination of setting goals, having the tenacity and perseverance to pursue them, and believing in our own abilities.*

This was enlightening to me as I never thought of myself as a hopeful person. Realistic is the word I usually choose. I consider myself a resourceful problem solver, never a pie in the sky hopeful person.  I often confront a problem head on with a list of realistic solutions and expectations of what I can achieve.

I was pleasantly surprised then to read her words and realize then by her explanation: I am a hopeful person. I really like that. It lifts my spirit to say that I am hopeful. Especially when it relates to what I can personally achieve. Most days I believe in myself, know where I want to go and have a plan to get there. Even if lately that "plan" is to follow my heart and see where it takes me, that in itself is still a plan, right? I am going to use the word hopeful more often.

So I pose this week's question to you:

How Hopeful Are You? / Question of the Week #22

And more specifically how hopeful are you (about yourself)?

In my years of observation of the world around me, I think it is often hardest for some to have hope about themselves. It somehow seems easier to see potential and possibilities in others, while feeling overwhelmed or even critical of ourselves. I know I often hold myself to higher standards than I hold others too. So a sense of hope can easily be flip-flopped  to a sense of hopelessness if things are not going well. And when we reach the stage where hopelessness is prevalent, we start to lose confidence in ourselves, and in turn lose our sense of self-worth.

Do you truly believe in yourself and your abilities? Are you full of hope when you think of your future? Or does this area of your life need some work?

Hope: to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.

I would love to hear your answers.

Cheers to finding hope in your life!

*Excerpted from the book The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.

About four years ago I had an epiphany; I realized that if I died that day my life would not have mattered.I don't mean to say that no one would miss me, or to assume that I hadn't made a few ripples in the world around me. Yet, something in me yearned for more substance. I realized I wanted to make a mark. To take a stand. To do something different. I wanted to leave something behind that would change the way the world thinks. (Or at least my corner of it).

Growing up middle class, sheltered and afraid of things that were different, I had always played it safe. That meant doing the right thing, being responsible, and taking care of my own. But I never took opportunities to stretch beyond my limited comfort zone. I never allowed myself to grow into the person I was meant to be.

My answer since that day has been to look within to understand myself.  To uncover, and discover what makes me unique. In the process I've learned so much, and it has in turn helped me to be able to really "see" other people. It's almost freaky at times. I am beginning to understand my natural talents, my strengths, the way my mind works (and most importantly of all) discovered that it operates differently from everyone else's. Such a simple, yet powerful thought for me to grasp. You would have thought I got that long ago, but somehow it never really sunk in.

As I travel from school to school, and class to class these days --substitute teaching, I am just beginning to understand the flaws inherent in our public school system. I am seeing that in our effort to leave no child behind, we are instead leaving nearly all children behind ---or, at the very least missing the boat on how we could help them truly flourish.

Our system is based on learning in a world that no longer exists. It is antiquated, outdated, and it is not working. (There are always exceptions and clearly I have seen some things working). I do not the fault teachers, in fact, I have gained huge respect for what they have to do on a daily basis. But I want to make it better. I see a way that it can work, and I am going to fix it. My plan is working itself out---it becomes clearer every day.

I will be able to make the mark on my corner of the world --- I've got a vision. I've been tagged. Stay tuned and soon I will share more of my plan with you....

So the Question of the Week # 17 / What would you want people to say about you during your eulogy? What would you like your tombstone to say about your life?

While this activity may seem morbid, it is a thought-provoking way to consider the kind of impact and purpose you want to have in your life. That being said, it is also really hard, but here is what I would want said.

Terri lived her life authentically, honestly and with purpose. By learning to open her heart and share that process with others, she was able to positively impact her corner of the world. Terri mattered.

I'd like to think that the words: Gone, but not forgotten will be true for me. How about you? Does this question make you squirm or do you know how you want to be remembered?

It is not a secret to anyone who knows me that I have spent the last few years struggling to find my place in the world. What is super weird is that up until 2009 I had spent my whole life on a direct path, in fact you could say I always knew exactly where I was headed. And then seemingly overnight, I lost my way (or maybe it is more appropriate to say I began to find my way). I veered off course and have been taking a series of new paths, most of which have dead ended, ever since.

Who knew I was heading off in search of my encore career; where I could make a living while making a difference?

Yesterday as I was turning away from the non-fiction new releases shelf at the library, with three new books under my arm, I felt a weird sense that I was missing something important. I scanned through the new titles seeing nothing relevant. Just as I was about to give up, The Encore Career Handbook, by Marci Alboher and its very relevant tagline “How to make a living AND a difference in the second half of life” jumped out at me.

I had heard the words “encore career” from someone a few weeks earlier and hadn’t yet followed up on the lead. So finding this book was a sign for me. And sure enough from page one I felt an immediate sense of relief that I was not alone and I wasn’t going crazy (or worse yet), having a senior moment.  There are others in the world like me, possibly 31 million others according to the book, who are currently in flux and in search of meaningful work. In fact it is fast becoming the new normal for those of us in our second half of life.

To those that attempt to label older workers I suggest you stop trying to quash us. Quash: to put down or suppress completely, to subdue; set aside. I cannot speak for all over 50 workers, but I can say that I am far from done. The book has given me hope that I can, and will, figure out my next move.

I am not an old dog. I can be taught new things, in fact, I am anxious to learn. I will make money and make a difference. Quite possibly my encore “job” will not be labeled a job at all, but rather a “purpose”.

There is great power in purpose, and in numbers. Look out, world-- as soon as those of us in search of our encore careers find our way--we will proudly be showing off our tricks.

If you liked this, you may also want to read:

My Second Half of Life

Links:

http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/09/27/you-can-teach-an-old-dog-new-tricks/45219.html

This week I started sharing the news with everyone that I am leaving my current job. It's weird to talk about, especially when you don't have anywhere specific to move to, and because I am not old enough to actually just "retire".  It makes for longer conversations, and some interesting reactions.

Bewilderment, Awkwardness, Pessimism, Optimism, Jealousy, Admiration, and one I didn't count on Camaraderie.  Telling my story seems to invoke some serious "girl power" and a kind of a "you go girl" attitude from other women. I love that.

It also seems to be an open invitation for other women who have been secretly harboring their own dreams, to share them with me. I really love that. Who knew that me taking a step toward my dreams would help others give a voice to theirs?

So this week's question is this: If money were no object, what would you do for free just because you love it?

Take out the thoughts about figuring out something that makes good money. And the concern about whether anyone would pay you to do it. Put aside the self-doubt, and all those practical thoughts... and just imagine what you would do if you could do whatever you wanted. What would life be like?

Don't be discouraged if you don't have an immediate answer....sometimes it takes time to bring dreams to the surface. And experimentation. This exercise is not to clearly point you in your life's direction but to get you thinking about the things you'd do if you had the time and the chance.

My Answer

My answer to this question is not clear. Which is why I am on my current journey  and going "off the safe & responsible path"....to see if I can clarify. Partly by trying things and deciding what I don't want to do by process of elimination. Here is what I do know...

• I know I'd spend time with youth--mentoring and teaching things I think are important: truth, responsibility, self-confidence, purity of intentions and encouraging kids to make something of their lives, by believing in themselves. It seems to come back to an afterschool program or a life skills high school class. Does that mean I want to teach?
• I'd write more, maybe I'd even write a book--I know I'd blog more. And I'd interview people and write their stories for publication.  Does that mean I want to be a feature writer?
• I'd continue exploring this idea I have to work amongst a cooperative group of women, each of us bringing to the table what we do best, and doing it from wherever we do it best;  our homes, a coffee shop, our office space. We'd do it better than it's ever been done. Does that mean I want to own a business? Or start a club of sorts?
• I'd spend time helping others uncover their strengths and help them operate from their "sweet spot". Does that mean I want to be a life coach?
• And I'd cook, trying recipes, tweaking them and sharing them. I love entertaining people I love with food. Does that mean I want to publish a recipe book?

I am able to answer this question, only it seems to make more questions for me. Be prepared that it might make more for you as well. What I am shooting for in my own life is to eventually answer it like my friend did this week. She said: I want to bake. I want to own my own company, and bake for people. She has a name for her company, an idea of what her logo will look like, and a clearly defined dream. I'm so proud of the progress she has made in the last couple of weeks, the certainty and strength of this dream seems to grow each time she talks about it.  I've already hired her for an event I am in charge of, and I plan to do all I can to help make her dream happen. I'm all about girl power and helping to make dreams come true...now if only I could define my own so clearly.

So what is your dream: will you share it? Do you know it? Write down what you'd do if money were no object... or if you are like me, write down the many things you'd do if making money were no object.