Posts tagged fear
Taking Action

Ready. Set. Jump.

I love it when people call me fearless.

I also dread it.

Especially when my inner voice screams "not true, you are not fearless, not by a long shot."

I suppose I believe that if  I were truly fearless then I would march off and take action on the things I believed in, and in doing so would make a difference in the world around me. As I write this I am realizing that I have not fully grown past the if, then  futuristic thinking pattern that once ruled me. I thought I had.

To me standing in your personal truth, believing in yourself, and allowing your dreams to grow wings --those actions spell fearless to me. And if that is my gauge, no wonder I fall so far short of believing that I am capable of fearless.

A truly fearless person would go after what they want.

I don't do that well. I still find reasons (or excuses) to procrastinate, to abort, or to divert. I allow myself to get caught up in way too many detours and distractions. Self-sabotage?

I've tried at different times in my life to take action in what seems like the right direction, but I end up letting my inner voice (or someone else' s voiced fears) stop me in my tracks. I've wondered if my heart was not truly into those ideas I left behind, or if I am just scared of committing fully to a path in case it is the "wrong" one. Whatever the reason, I begin things with enthusiasm and passion, and then I stall.

There should be no fear in truth.

Why are so many women of my age afraid to stand fully in our truth?  Is it because we have been taught to worry about what it looks like from the outside, a what-will-the-neighbor's-think mentality we inherited from our mothers and grandmothers? Or is it fear?

We really should be worried more about how it feels on the inside, than what it looks like on the outside---shouldn't we?

Creativity, whether with words, a paintbrush, a camera, a sewing machine, a series of music notes, lies within all of us. And it is nothing short of scary to share outwardly what comes from the deepest parts of our soul. Yet we cannot allow ourselves to stay safe in our skin, never expressing  fully what we feel in our soul, or it will extinguish our light.

The truth, who we really are, is deep within our soul. It is in that creative space where all our  goodness and brokenness awaits the chance to fully express itself. To shine a light outward and make our unique difference.

A truly fearless person would have already written the book I tell people I am writing. They would have let go of the negative thoughts that they aren't really a writer, or they aren't a good enough one anyway. And they would let go of thinking they have nothing unique or original enough to share.

I need to let my light shine. In my own unique words. And I need to do it without expectation and without worrying about the consequences.

I took a step today in the direction of fearless. I signed up to attend the Storyline Writers Conference this fall outside of Chicago. Investing in my dream. Investing in me.

As I continue to evolve and grow into the best me I can be, I thank those who see me as fearless. Your support encourages me to keep going. To keep trying. To believe in myself.

I am pretty sure I see fearless, and she is just around the corner.

I Dare You / Question of the Week #26

beach2Most of you who read my blog know that I have been on a mission for the last few years to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

I thought I would be there by now. I'm not.

Instead I find myself like a kid in a candy store. So excited to try everything new that comes into view. I am dizzy with the love of learning. I find myself energized to learn more about anything and everything that interests me. (Even stuff I didn't think even interested me before.) I have read so many books, listened to stacks of books on tape, and my subject matter is so varied I'm pretty sure the people at the library think I am a little nuts. (Hooray for library books being free to check out).

I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't been allowed, or allowed myself this opportunity to just "be" for a while, to take the time to figure myself out -- especially now that I can see clearly how much I needed it.

Lately I have been able to use what I have learned to help others in need of figuring themselves out. What a fantastic feeling!

If not for the "little" detail of having to contribute money into our bank account sometime soon, all would be at peace in me. I love using what I know to encourage, motivate and help others move forward. You know that question that people ask: What would you do for FREE because you love it? That is what I would do for free: help people understand themselves and give them strategies to help them move forward. It is what I love to do. It is what makes me feel like I make a difference.

In the past 5 months I have learned so much about myself. And it has helped me understand others so much better.

I've learned about Strength. Shame. Fears. Purpose. Passion. Energy. Love. Surrender. Serendipity. Trust. Natural talents. Positivity. Happiness. And Joy.

Once I took the first step forward to begin facing a few of my longtime fears, it helped me realize that what I needed to do most-- was let go. To stop wasting so much energy trying to take control of things that were clearly not for me to worry about.  Once I started letting go of the control, and began slowing my life down, I was able to see what it is that I do best (and easily).

I am at heart a coach and facilitator, an educator and a mentor, a catalyst for forward motion and growth.

I believe I have now found my "sweet spot".

For a long time I ignored that I had a sweet spot because I could not see how it would help me find that next job/that encore career. I focused instead on all the skills a resume screams for, and I failed to acknowledge that I have a talent for understanding people, for asking questions that open them up to new ways of thinking, and for helping them learn to help themselves.

It has always been easy for me to champion the potential of others, now I need to learn to believe in me.

You see even after discovering what my "element" was, I slowed my own forward progress because I listened to the dark voice inside that convinced  me I was not good enough, or that I needed a different college degree to prove my worth, or that I couldn't possibly go into business doing what I love to do and being successful at it.

And yet, here I am. Poised to move in the direction of my dreams. That vision board of 4 years ago is finally making sense....

Ironic that in trying to figure out what I wanted to "do" next, what I want to "be" when I grew up, I discovered something even greater. I discovered who I really am at the core.

I am not at the place I thought I would be by now.

Instead... I'm in an even better place. Comfortable in my own skin, for maybe the first time ever.

Question of the Week #26 / When was the last time you did something for the first time?