Ahhh. Thanksgiving. What do you enjoy most about it? The traditions, the hustle and bustle, the time off? For me it is all about being together and being home. Because I am a homebody at heart I look forward to several days in a row of just being here. Of not having to go out of the house, unless I want to.  Of  having the house filled with people and laughter, games and good food.

It does not seem like a year went by since the pictures we took last year. And yet it does. A lot has changed...and because I am person who likes things status quo...a lot has not. Sadie's gone. She's in Texas now, having Thanksgiving with her mom and brother. I will miss her. A lot. Last year was even more special for me because I got to experience our family traditions through her eyes. It made me realize that even though everyone complains about the pictures I take and the trek to go cut down our Christmas tree immediately after Thanksgiving, there is something special about them, too.

For me, Thanksgiving signifies the beginning of the end, the countdown to Christmas and the end of the year. In a way, kind of like the calm before the storm. I use it as a time of reflection to count my blessings and figure out what is truly important to me.

This year I am thankful for my family, yoga and the awesome power we all have within us to take charge of our lives. 

What are you thankful for?

Wish I would have thought of this. What an inspired idea. Add your comments to the link, but first think about what you are truly thankful for in 2010. If your year has been anything like mine, there is so much to appreciate. Life is good.

Once all the responses are collected, they will be sent to the Guiness Book of World Records. Tell the world what you are thankful for. Let your voice be heard.

http://www.appreciate-it.com/

Make a change. Even if it is just in your little world. Go for it. You'll feel so much better!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" -Gandhi

I'm thinking I was almost a complainer......one of those people on the edge of unhappy who gripes and gripes but never does anything to change things. Until I had an epiphany. What a cool word that is. Dictionary.com says it is a sudden, intuitive perception or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple or commonplace occurrence or experience.  

It didn't occur to me that this is what happened to me until I was reading a meditation from Daily OM in last week's yoga class.  I read, "Complaining is a person's way of acknowledging that they are not happy with the way things are.  So transforming complaining into something useful is a twofold process that begins with turning our critical eye to look at things we can actually do something about, and then taking positive action." So in a nutshell,  stop complaining and do something about it.

As I said the words in my yoga class, I realized that is what I had just done at my workplace.

 

And it was life changing.

I had been feeling useless, stagnant, outdated, almost resentful about my job and although I hadn't started complaining to the world around me (mostly just to my husband) I was about ready to spew.  And then suddenly,  I made a spur of the moment decision that changed my life. I followed my instinct....remember that $800 class I signed up for, (see earlier blog post....Jumping in Without A life Jacket), an online social media marketing certification class? The one my husband said "no" to doing, two seconds after I clicked the sign up now button?

Well I knew it was something I needed to do. I clicked that button and I was confident I was doing the right thing.  But would my company believe in me? Would my husband?

Turns out they did. I prepared a memo to my company asking that they let me head up their social media marketing effort, and asked them to pay for my class. They agreed. No arguments and without many questions. I cannot tell you how good I felt doing something to change my course...

 

I'd like to think that I recognized a problem, and was offering them a solution. I channeled a negative habit into a creative process, and used my energy to change the world, well, at least my world, in a positive way. So if you find yourself complaining, don't beat yourself up. Instead figure out what is bothering you and dare to make a change.

It's empowering, and uplifting and it just might change your life and the lives of those around you.

I love yoga.

I love it so much I decided to become a certified instructor without really knowing why I wanted to get certified. Once, near the end of a yoga class with my husband, I leaned over and said, I'm taking the instructor class to get certified. Without hesitation, he said okay. Now, I'm pretty sure if he had asked me that question, I would have said something like..."well how much is it, and what are you ever going to do with it?" But he didn't. He just nodded. How I love his faith in me.

Turns out, I had a plan all along, I just didn't know it. A year after taking the instructor's class through Yogafit, I got my certificate and realized that I really wanted to teach. I called GR Parks and Rec one afternoon last Spring on a whim. Funny thing, they needed an instructor because someone had just quit. So I signed up, and a week later, I was in front of a class. Fate?

I was scared to death that first day. I made so many mistakes, I even forgot what pyramid pose was called. But by the end of the Spring session, I was feeling a bit more comfortable. Summer came and went and I signed up to teach again this Fall. Two classes back to back on Monday nights. Eeek! I wondered if I could handle that. Turns out it has been the best experience for me.

That is why tonight is bittersweet for me. It marks the completion of another 10 week session teaching yoga through GR Parks & Rec. It's over....already. Just like a 55 minute class--it goes by so fast. I arrive, with big plans of what I want my class to accomplish that night, and then I look up at the clock, and it's time for Shavashana. Where did the time go?

I guess in a way, it is like life. Like parenting. You begin the journey, scared to death, on the day you take your baby home from the hospital ...and then, next thing you know--- they are going off to college. All I can say is, make sure you have fun along the way. Cuz it sure goes by fast. Bittersweet.

Life...it's like that.

Throughout my life I have been asked this question and I have never had an answer. Some people immediately have their "hero" in mind. For me it has always been more of a bits and pieces thing. I admire "this" in a certain person and I learned "that" from someone else. But it occurred to me recently that I do have role models.

It is the women who have come before me in my family, my Grandmas. Nana, my mom's mom, was the traditional wife, mother, and homemaker.

She rarely ventured out, choosing instead to spend her time at their house and at their trailer near Holland. She knitted, she sewed, she cooked, she crafted so many things, yet she never even learned to drive. You could always count on Nana to be there for you. In my 3 1/2 years away at college, before cell phones or the internet, she sent me a letter a week to remind me that she was thinking of me. How I looked forward to receiving that mail and to her sweet writing about nothing (and everything), and the couple of dollars she slipped in there for me to get a treat! I am like her in more ways than I ever imagined. I too, rarely travel, spending my time between my house and my cottage. I craft, I cook and I send a text a day to remind my son at college that I am thinking of him.

And then there was my Grandma Eva, my dad's mom, who was the fun loving, adventurous, life-is-a-party Grandma.

I'll never forget one time she was babysitting my sister and I, and we drove up to the Dairy Queen for a treat. Although I had not yet learned to drive, I was pretty sure that riding with two wheels on the curb, and two wheels on the street, was not the proper way to do it! Watch out mailboxes. It was always an adventure with her. She made people laugh, lots of times at her as much as with her. She raised two outdoorsy boys, and hunted and fished right along with them. Talk about being a cool mom.

If you had asked me when I was a young working mother with two boys, a home and a husband to care for,  if I thought we shared any of the same personality traits, I'd have answered heck no. But as I grow older I  realize now that I am definitely a mix of the two role models. From my Nana I got my love of home, family, and my need to make sure that people feel comfortable and cared for in my presence. From my Grandma Eva, I got the "life is a party, enjoy every minute", and oh-by-the-way just because I am the party hostess, don't think I won't be joining in the fun, attitude. From them, whether I ever realized it or not, I became the
person I am today. Both of my Grandmas have been gone for years, but somehow they stay in my thoughts. I miss them. And I aspire to someday be the role models for my grandchildren that they were for me.

Who is your role model?

All my life I have admired those people who give back to their community by volunteering. While I streaked at break neck speed through years of my endless "to do" lists, I envied those who gave back. I have often said throughout my life that I have no real talent. And I meant it. I don't sing, or dance, or play a musical instrument. I can't knit or sew. I clean, I cook, I pack, I shop, I plan...not exactly what I would consider give backable talents.

But this week I learned something about myself. Gilda's Club has workshops for their members, and I volunteered to lead one on journal making and decorating. I recruited my mom, and my Aunt Lo to come along and help. What a fantastic experience. As I watched the group of women, each with their own unique life story and situation, work together to create their journals, I discovered that maybe I do have a talent. It might not be the big kind, the kind that gets you up on stage or that even gets you noticed, but the kind that you can use anywhere at anytime. The gift of hostessing. I like to make people happy and comfortable. To put them at ease. To have them leave feeling happy they came. I am by nature, a true hostess.

Maybe all these years it wasn't that I lacked talent or time, I just needed to hone my skills. I know one thing for sure, look-out-world the volunteer in me is here to stay. I can't wait to do it again.

...but the fact that he called while driving is not even the surprising part. Unfortunately. But that is another story. There was some really loud talking going on in the background and I could barely understand him. What is that?, I asked. His answer: Oh, sorry that is the radio....I was listening to NPR. Oh, okay, I say. Wait....WHAT?????? Who are you and what have you done with my son?

He is 16 people. Sixteen, and on his way to GR Crew practice. What in the world is he doing listening to NPR? With the exception of the few days after 911, I have never even listed to NPR. Oh my gosh, there is hope for him yet, he's turning into his father.

But have you ever been late to work because dog tried to eat you? Okay well it wasn't that dramatic, but I was held up at school, stuck inside the building, while a giant dog ran around loose outside knocking over the trash can and jumping at the door. Truth. And, by giant dog, I mean...giant dog. Not knowing much about dogs (did I mention that my son is planning to be a veterinarian but we've never owned a pet of any kind), I do know this much...the dog was huge and black, kinda scary and walked funny. Someone said it looked like a rottweiler & pit bull mix. Needless to say I wasn't going to attempt the walk out to my car, just in case he was also an angry dog. I've only had stitches twice in my life, one time from a black lab that wasn't very friendly. I remember hearing that dogs can smell fear (or was that bears), so no way was I going to be able to pretend it didn't scare me. I stayed put, and watched from the safety of the lobby until the police, GRPS security and the animal control guys arrived. Turns out he wasn't an angry dog, just a really big, really curious, scary looking one. I am still glad I stayed inside....and I was late for work because of a dog.

Okay, I think I have gone off the deep end.

I just spent $800 for an online Social Media Magic University class and certification. I did not even ask my company if they would pay for it (yet)---I just felt like I needed to sign up---omg, I hope this is a sign of what I should be doing, and not a sign that I am going nuts. Seconds after I clicked the sign up NOW button, my husband sent an answer to my text asking him if it was okay if I did it.  He responded "No". Oops.

I got home today and had four new answering machine messages--how exciting! And then even before I got to listen to them, I got another phone call. A kid. He's asking if I am going to vote tomorrow. "Of course". Do you know the polls are open from 7 am to 8 pm he asks me?  "Yeah".  He continues on, will you be voting in the morning or afternoon? "Who cares, I want to say?" But I'm too polite, I answer him because he sounds kinda young and nervous.

And then he reads off his paper in a robotic voice...I'd like to thank you for answering, for your time and I'd like to thank you for voting. I giggle. It sounds so silly. Polite, but yet kinda ridiculous. Okay sure, you are welcome kid. Now stop already...

Are there really people out there unaware of the fact that we vote tomorrow? Or people who won't exercise their right to vote? Come on folks, stop your complaining and do something!

Vote. Make your voice heard.

Oh yeah, those exciting messages on the machine? All political. All recorded. All impersonal. Seriously? Leave me alone, please.... I hate politics and political ads, I'd even go so far as to say that I am not a political person. But voting...well that is pretty much a no brainer.

Tomorrow Alec comes home from MSU. He left on August 20 for SMB Band camp, so it will have been 2 months and 9 days since he last walked through the doors of what for 18 years was his "home". In the past two and a half months we've made some changes, little ones mostly...a new rug here, a new rug there...a subtle cleaning of his room, and a big change in the downstairs bathroom. What I want to know is, will he care?

A million moons ago, when I came home from college for my first weekend visit, I know it felt weird. It felt like I was "home", but kind of like, I didn't really belong there anymore. The place that had for so many years defined me, as "me", was somehow not the same. Looking back, I had changed, mostly. I remember asking myself was "home" now my college dorm room? I'd like to think it wasn't. Because, lucky for me, "home", where my parents still live, is the same home I grew up in, and came home to. My parents continue to live in their first house, on the street I grew up on, in the house I remember growing up in, only a couple blocks from my own house now. Tomorrow, I will want to shout at Alec when he notices the changes, "this is STILL your home. It always will be." And you belong here. Man, I missed you.

But I hope he already knows that. Home is where your heart is, after all.

It sure was windy outside today.

Weirdly so, I'd even say. I'm hoping it was a sign....a kind of a blowing out of the old, and a bringing in the new. New possibilities.  New opportunities. Whatever is coming at me, I am ready! Wonder how long I'll have to wait to be shown the way?

We have a saying in my family that when someone (usually an older person) starts to tell it like it is, no holes barred, no punches pulled....they have lost their 'filter'. Lately I have become a lot more vocal about how I really feel. So am I losing my filter? Am I becoming another cranky old lady? There is no doubt that life as I knew it, is changing. Certain body parts are going south (fast), and certain sections are growing lumpy (can you picture back fat and muffin top). And why don't my pants stay zipped anymore? Things are just not working like they used to.

If I could count the number of times I begin a story and my husband first gets a look of concern, which then changes to in·cre·du·li·ty, then to a smirk. "What?" I say in the middle of my story. He replies, looking at me strangely..."Just wondering what I am supposed to say when you start telling me a story for the second or third time. Am I supposed to pretend you didn't tell me this already and just nod along?" Crap, no of course not! How can I not remember telling it to him before (maybe even twice)? What the heck has happened to my normally organized and well oiled brain. Maybe I need to try some of those fish oil pills... wait...are they for memory improvement, or for something else my almost 50 year old body is lacking? Hey do those pills make your breath smell like fish? Ick.

I'll just quit beating around the bush then. Getting old, stinks. I want "me" back. And losing my filter...well this just might be part of growing up.

Ever notice the amount of teen facebook statuses saying that they are bored? I can't remember the last time I was actually bored, can you? Distracted, sure. But with today's endless choices of things to do, literally at our fingertips, how can teenagers really be bored? I cannot find enough time in my day to accomplish all the things I want to.

So maybe this is really code for something else. What if this is our teenagers way of saying they are not happy with what is "within" themselves? During quieter times, maybe they aren't finding what they need to get them through. Their inner strength; self confidence, self worth, love of themselves. The things I take for granted and help give me my daily direction. How can we expect them to grow into successful, happy adults if they don't have the proper inner foundation? It is a scary thought for me. Our children grew up in a world of constant and immediate entertainment, and yet they can be so bored.

Maybe we need to go "back to basics".

  Maybe we need to show them how to find joy in the simple things. To take a walk, with nowhere in mind to end up. To read a book, just because. To play a board game, one that uses brain power, not a power cord. To call a friend, not to facebook or text them, but to actually call and talk. Or to volunteer, not just because you need volunteer hours for school, but because there is a great feeling of self worth that comes from giving back.

Our children need to find their core. I hope it is not too late. Without my "gut" to follow, I fear I might have found myself  "bored as woah", as well.

It has been a while since I have been able to post on this blog, mainly because I felt too emotional. But a couple of months into "learning-to-live with a kid in college", I am slowly getting it together.

Sending my first baby off to college was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Not because I was afraid that he wouldn't survive without me, but because I thought he would. Now I know that sounds a bit crazy because that is the goal of a parent, right? Raise your children to be independant and to go forward with the skills and ability to survive in the world. But when that reality hit, it left me scrambling to redefine myself. He doesn't need me anymore. For much of the last 18 years I have defined myself as simply "mother". The person who nags about homework, yells about grades, monitors friends, attends musical events and sporting events, does laundry, cleans the house, makes sure there is food in the fridge and back ups in the cupboard of everyone's favorite lotions, shampoos, and deodorants etc. Now that one of my babies is off being independent, what happens to the me I am used to? Yes I am still mom to one here at home, but somehow there is a void in me that misses being needed by both. It doesn't help when that kid at college doesn't want much (if any) interaction. Mom, you just gotta let go...you know you are not going to hear from me every day. I'm busy. But what if I want to hear from him everyday? What if I miss his smile, his friends, his playing the piano, his laundry, his homework, his everything?

The good news is that he is surviving without me.

 I guess we did our job as parents... he is his own person now. And I am learning to survive without him. I am slowly coming to terms with our limited interaction. It doesn't mean I don't tear up when I see him, or think of him, or say goodbye to him again. But I am even starting to enjoy it a little. So who am I now that I have a kid in college? I am still a mom, but now I can also be a yoga instructor, a friend, a blogger, a volunteer, a wife, a student....I guess I can be whatever I want to be.

Okay so it has been several months since I blogged anything. Not because I haven't thought about it, or because I haven't had time to, or haven't wanted to...but, because I am scared to. Too. Much. Emotion. And too much to say.

Alec graduated from high school. Alec is leaving for MSU. Alec doesn't need me anymore. Life will never be the same. How does that make me feel? Sad. Scared. Excited for him. Lonely. And very, very emotional. I am sitting at my desk with tears on my cheeks as I write this. (See, I knew it would be too hard). I have to walk away already and I only typed 5 lines so far.

Okay so where did that time go? How is my baby going off to college already...wasn't I just wearing those awful maternity clothes and laughing because everyone said I looked like the big fig newton? Wow. It feels like life went by so fast, like in a blink of an eye. I was there, wasn't I? I was there for it all, right? I enjoyed it, right? Okay, maybe I want it back. Maybe I want a "do over" or maybe it should be a "do again". Why is it that once you get through something it is so much easier to look back and think how you could have done it better?

I am not ready to let go.

Now if only mine would tell me what I should do next.

The Truths Within--Value Your Own Wisdom

We come into this world with our own inner wisdom, it knows where we are going and understands where we come from.Throughout our lives, we will encounter individuals who presume to know what is best for us. The insights they offer cannot compare, however, with the powers of awareness and discernment that already exist within us. From birth we are blessed with wisdom that cannot be learned or unlearned. It exists whether or not we acknowledge it because it is a gift given to us by a loving universe before we chose to experience existence on the earthly plane. Yet for all its permanence, it is vital that we value and honor this incredible element of the self. It is when we do not use our inborn wisdom that we begin to doubt our personal truths and are driven to outside sources of information because we are afraid. What we know to be true in our hearts is invariably true, and we discover how intensely beautiful and useful self-trust can be when we recognize the power of our wisdom. Inner wisdom is not subject to the influences of the outside world, which means that it will never demand that we surrender our free will or counsel us to act in opposition to our values. We benefit from this inspiration when we open ourselves to it, letting go of the false notion that we are less qualified than others to determine our fate. The wisdom inside of us is the source of our discernment and our ability to identify blessings in disguise. When we are unsure of who to trust, how to respond, or what we require, the answers lie in our inner wisdom. It knows where we are going and understands where we are coming from, taking this into account though it is not a product of experience but rather a piece of our connection to the universal mind. In the whole of your existence, no force you will ever encounter will contribute as much to your ability to do what you need to do and be who you want to be as your natural wisdom. Through it, you reveal your growing consciousness to the greater source and discover the true extent of your strength. If you heed this wisdom with conviction and confidence, the patterns, people, and fears that held you back will be dismantled, paving the way for you to fulfill your truest potential.

--From Daily OM
Subscribe at today@dailyom.com

The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee

Tonight’s practice will be day four of yoga in a row. I had forgotten how good it feels to practice it that often. Many people have asked if it has helped me be more flexible. I suppose it has, but I was still the most inflexible person at my yoga fit training class last spring. And I was the only instructor-in-training to use props. I know that I feel better, and I get less headaches and backaches because I practice yoga. I also have better posture and balance and core strength. But the true benefit for me is the chance to sit for a bit, to quiet my mind, and to concentrate on breathing. Somehow things are always clearer when I leave yoga...when I have taken the time to just breathe.

I had coffee this morning with someone who asked me a question I have asked myself a lot lately. How do moms do it? How do we shape, herd, redirect, guide, steer our children to become independent responsible adults and not have our hearts broken every day? Maybe that question has a different answer for everyone, or maybe the answer is bluntly: we don’t. I know it sometimes feels like my heart gets broken every day. What fun is it to be the bad guy all the time? To be the “fun sucker” as my kids sometimes call me? It breaks my heart to have to always be the one who asks if: the homework is done, the test is studied for, the debits are recorded in the checkbook, the keys are in the backpack, the glasses are in the bag, the math test got rescheduled. But if I don’t do it, who will?

The experts say, that it isn’t our job to micro manage our children. Let them learn on their own. You have to fail to succeed. Wow-- maybe harder than being the bad guy every day, is the job of sitting back and watching your child fail. I understand the idea of not doing everything for your children. I understand that you can’t protect them from all disaster, sickness and pain. But I do believe we have a responsibility as a parent to show them the way. Why is it so important to do that homework, to get a good grade on that test, to remember your key? Because that is real life, people. You can’t live your life in a fog, never knowing what comes next or where you put something. If you are given the responsibility to get a paper signed, or to turn your homework in on time, or to bring your glasses so you can see the board, or to bring your key so someone doesn’t have to take time off work to drive over and let you in the house, then you must learn to do it.

If not for you, then for the others around you. I think teenagers especially don’t realize that what they do or don’t do affects others around them. What if you don’t do your homework, or worse yet, what if you do it but don’t turn it in for credit? What if your grade because of this falls to a D? What if that forces the director of the high school musical you are playing a lead role in to kick you out and find a replacement for you halfway through the show? How does that affect the other kids in the show? Why should their production be compromised because you were too selfish to see beyond what your laziness in not doing the homework meant to them? Maybe you didn’t care, but others do.

There are always things to be remembered. I am a lister. I admit it. But anyone who knows me, also knows I often times lose my lists. But the list itself is only physical evidence of what has already transpired within me. I thought about what comes next, where I am going, what I will need. If I lose the list, I have still taught my brain to think it out. The writing it down just helps me remember. Do I sometimes get off track and forget things? Yeah. Does life throw me a curve ball and hinder my plan to accomplish or achieve things on my list? Of course, almost daily. But at least I am not living my life in a fog. I accomplish things, I fail at things, I learn how to do things better. I guess in the end that is what I want my kids to do, too. I want them to think it out for themselves. To learn to be independent. To care about their grades, their work ethic, their future. And to care how their actions affect others around them.

So as a mom, I ask myself where is the appropriate line between nagging and ignoring? I have seen what happens when no one cares and kids are forced to go it alone. It isn’t pretty. And what exactly does someone learn from that? What not to do, maybe. How do they then learn what TO DO if no one shows them their options? If being the one to show them the way means I have to take the flak, and let the mean looks and the insults and the hate they sometimes throw my way, just bounce off me, I guess I’ll gladly do it. It isn’t an easy job. There aren’t any right answers to where that line is. I suppose it is different for every mother, and for every child. Some things work and some things, just don’t. At the end of the day, when I lay down to sleep, I just hope I have done something to show my children at least one step of the way. Whether they appreciated it, or not.