Welcome to Our Family

FAMILY

There is no bond stronger than the one that exists in a family. It allows us to fail without fault, to learn without loss, to love without condition. It is how we become who we are.

What makes a family?

I think there are many kinds of families. Some we are born into (obviously), others we create (having our own children), some we stumble into by circumstance (adoption/foster homes) and still others just happen. For many years it was "the four of us" here in our home. An even number. A workable number. A responsible number.

And yet, I felt outnumbered. I grew up with two sisters, I was always with girls. And having my own family of boys, I was now the odd man out. No one wanted to craft with me (no matter how many different variations I came up with.) No one wanted to play restaurant, or grocery store, or barbies or beads.  They were more interested in building tracks for their hot wheels, or playing video games, or doing crazy bones, or leggos, or taping things together (yes, they did that often). None of which I found interesting. I now know how my dad must have felt living in a house full of females....four to his one.  No wonder he tried to make me his "boy" by taking me trapping and deer hunting and fishing. It must have been hard.

Over the years I found myself sometimes missing that common ground of shared interest. I had always wanted one more child...I daydreamed about it being a girl. What would she look like...who's personality would she share, what would she think of her big brothers? Would she like doing girly things with me, would she need me to do her hair? (Heaven forbid). But it never happened and life rolled quickly on. No regrets or anything, just the once in a while wistful twinge that what my friends and their daughters shared was something I would never get to experience.

And then came Sadie. She blew in quickly, just about a year ago, and bowled us over with her  spark and spirit. In a couple of months, she had stolen my heart. That's not to say that the year of Sadie has not had its blips and bumps. But it has also had so much meaning. I learn from her everyday. About how it feels to love your real mom even if she sometimes hasn't deserved it. And how much you want to be loved by her in return. About how hard it is to be positive when you live with people who bring you down. About how hard it is to believe in yourself when no one else ever has. About realizing how you cannot wait for life to happen, but instead you need to go out and make it happen.

I'll admit that having Sadie here evens out the female to male ratio in this house a little. I have someone to craft, shop, and watch chick flicks with now. And there is someone to do MY hair! But that is not all she brings to our house. Somehow she fits in like she has always belonged, (well another bedroom would be nice), she is the "little" girl we never had, and the "little" sister that Mitch never got (even though she is older).

She is an inspiration to me and I admire her for her courage this past year. For believing in herself strongly enough to make some hard decisions. For realizing that although she loves/needs her family, she needs to make her own way. For trusting us to take her in. For letting us love her as our own. We may not have had her, we may not have raised her, we may not have gotten to adopt her when she was two, but she is here now and will irrevocably be part of this family. Welcome to our family Sadie.

You Make Me a Better Person...

This year on Thanksgiving I made a point to let those members of my family that were celebrating together know why I was thankful for them. I started my thoughts with my wonderful husband and used the same format for everyone else. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to do. I still get choked up when I read them. Must be because I realized how truly special they all are to me and how much I need them.

MIKE I am thankful for you because...
…you are my glue. Thank you for being my best friend and keeping me on course everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

ALEC I am thankful for you because…
….you make me smile. Thank you for bringing joy in my life everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

MITCH I am thankful for you because…
…you challenge me. Thank you for always being you and making me think everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

SADIE I am thankful for you because…
…you inspire me. Thank you for opening my heart and allowing me to watch you grow stronger everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

DAD I am thankful for you because…
….you are my rock. Thank you for giving me the foundation to believe in myself everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

MOM I am thankful for you because…
…you ground me. Thank you for loving me no matter what and for showing me the way everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

SHELL I am thankful for you because…
….you complete me. Thank you for being more than a sister, more than a friend and an inspiration to me everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

SCOTT I am thankful for you because…
…you crack me up. Thank you for always being there and for making me laugh almost everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

BUZZ I am thankful for you because…
…you give me crap. Thank you for always keeping it real and for making me so proud of you everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

SYD I am thankful for you because…
…you are the sweetest niece. Thank you for letting me learn from your sweet, shy, gentle ways everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

LO I am thankful for you because…
…you support me. Thank you for always being there and for loving us like your own everyday. You make me a better person. I love you.

My Second Half of Life

I read something not too long ago that made sense. It was a passage from a book, a gift I received many Christmases ago, and never opened. I finally opened that book as I was about to get rid of it. Here is the first thing that jumped out at me:

As we grow in age
we also grow in acceptance.
We see shades of gray
instead of black and white.
We become slow to condemn
and quick to forgive.

We do not rant and rave.
We do not complain and gripe.
Our heart has expanded with compassion
and is open to all people.

---The Sage's Tao Te Ching
A new Interpretation by William Martin

And then I noticed a little subtitle that read: Ancient advice for the second half of life.

And it hit me. I am in my second half of life.

How can that be when so many times I still feel like the scared kid who desperately wants to make her parents proud and impress her friends. Have I pleased them? Are they proud of who I have become? Is anyone impressed? Am I?

And so begins my blog.

2009 has been in many ways, a pivotal year for me. Why? I'm not sure. Nothing huge happened, no wedding, no exciting career change, no children were born. And yet, in the busyness of everyday life something extraordinary happened. My heart opened. I know when it happened. Backstage with the cast and crew at the UHS production of Annie. It began slowly in me. I went from "helping" backstage and feeling more "in the way" than of any use, to feeling a part of something. How a group of teenagers and their-not-much-older-than-that married directors had formed such a close knit bond in less than three months time, completely floored me. And yet, in less than three days, I began to feel the same bond. I felt like I was becoming a necessary and vital part of this wonderful group. This group of unlikely kids, who so quickly and solidly meshed to become a team. How cool. How awesome. How inspiring.

It started a change in me. I began to see things in shades of gray and not the black and white I have always been known for. I found compassion. I found energy. I found strength. I found inspiration. I found (a little more) patience. I found so much love. My eyes opened, and my heart opened.

I may be in my second half of life, but I still have no idea where I am going. In 2010 the possibilities are endless and I am open to wherever this journey takes me.