“I realize that learning is a constant process, and I’m thankful for the lessons I learn every day. ”

I have a goal in my life and that is to live the rest of it being fully myself, without regret or holding back who I truly am. My hope is that by being fully myself, and sitting in my power, I will inspire others to do the same.

I have only been partially open about my spiritual journey for the last few years. I have shared my energy work, my personal coaching, my writings, and to some, my interest in all things seen & unseen (paranormal/metaphysical). But I haven’t taken off the last mask. I have been afraid to be vulnerable, but the time has come to rip off the band aid and own my true self.

I have devoted the last ten years of my life learning to be the best and most authentic version of myself. I am, and always will be, a work-in-progress. It doesn’t matter how much work on ourselves we do, there will always be more, and for me that is a relief. To me that means there is no end goal, no way to get it right (or wrong) and no finish line; there is only a continual wish to do my best and be my best. This notion allows me to give myself grace when I digress, fail, or hit a rough patch, and it gives me courage to keep learning my lessons.

On my website I “label” myself as a light worker*. I believe we all are made up of darkness, and light. The light is our God spark, our natural and pure goodness, and we have the power to choose to grow our light, or to live in the dark. I have accepted and confronted my own darkness, and will continue to intentionally grow my light. Does that mean I am beyond reproach, or always do the right thing? Heavens no, remember we are all a work in progress. I will do my absolute best to radiate my light within, by walking my talk, meaning what I say, and leading by example. I will give the world the best I have.

Over the last few years I have shared my belief that our true power lies within all of us. Our spark/connection to the divine (whatever higher power you believe in) is within us and ready to be accessed at all times. This means we have all the answers inside us, yet we aren’t always able to find them. Often we look outside of ourselves when we are feeling stuck, or at a crossroads, instead of clearing a path to hear our inner voice. This is where I feel my true talent is: truth telling to help people get unstuck.

Everyone is on their own unique journey and their own individual path. We aren’t meant to be alike, or to fit in, we are meant to be unique and to stand out. We are meant to shine. And the only way to do that is to be fully ourselves. My inward journey has led me from the controlling perfectionistic, judgmental person I was, to the person I was always meant to be. Having traversed a healing path, much through trial and error and mostly by myself, I now feel compelled to share what I have learned. I am still working out the specifics of how I will share it, a book or two maybe?

To remove my final mask, I need to share this:

My mission. My purpose is to guide people forward to their truest selves and to help people uncover what is keeping them stuck. In other words I help others learn to live in the light. I do this in several ways; physically teaching yoga and Groove dance, emotionally and energetically through my reiki sessions, and via spiritual readings using my mediumship to channel messages from your guides or others for your highest good.

Every day I keep my vibration as high as I can, filling myself with love and appreciation, radiating my unique light and making myself a vessel to channel the highest good for all. Yes I am psychic, we all are. Yes I am a medium and can channel spirit guides, so can you. Yes I believe in “life” after death, I know there is so much more our soul experiences after we cross over to the other side. And yes, I believe in a higher power, source, God, and it is 100% okay that it is not the same thing you believe. We are all unique remember, therefore our journey, our beliefs and our missions should also be unique.

I plan to take my abilities in this go round of life as far as I can. I will shine my light proudly and SO brightly it will help others out of their darkness. ♥

*https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/what-is-a-lightworker-and-what-do-they-do-exactly/

I often try to mix up the way I ask my yogis at the beginning of a class to take their focus inward.

One of the things I sometimes ask is for people to tune into what makes them happy, to bring those visions or thoughts to mind, and to think about how they “feel/experience” that happiness in their bodies. For me, I feel warm, soft, positive and at ease when I fill myself with happy thoughts.

Why then does it seem most people have an easier time listing off the things that make them unhappy? I have a theory on this, I think focusing on what makes us unhappy is more of a surface/outward focus and revolves around things we feel are out of our control: traffic jams, tax increases, waiting in line after shopping to check out, injustice etc. The inward focus of thinking about what fuels our souls is harder and takes more effort, and requires us to acknowledge and make changes once we are aware. In other words, it requires us to do something more than just complain. While it is more work for us, it also gives us back our power and the end result of surrounding ourselves with what makes us happy and encourages the best version of ourselves, is ultimately worth it.

I will give you an example of one of my brain dumps and you will see how I am able to more clearly recognize the patterns I might have been missing.

What makes me happy?

Clean sheets

Clean counters

Feeling clean in my body

A clean house

An organized closet

A clean desk

(Is anyone else seeing a pattern here).

I like a clutter free, clean, organized life.

Let’s continue on…What else makes me happy?

Laughter.

Nothing on my ‘to do’ list.

A long weekend at the cottage.

Family game night.

Family dinners.

Grand baby time.

Cancelled plans that lead to a weekend in.

Getting the summer gang together for a shared dinner.

I am sensing another pattern here.

I crave simplicity and freedom. I am most happy at home (or at my cottage) having fun with the people I love.

What else makes me happy?

Helping others learn + grow.

Seeing people grasp a life lesson and grow from it.

Getting like minded people together to go deep in conversation.

Learning something new.

Sharing something I have learned.

Inspiring others take their power back.

I like to go deep, learn new things, and share what I have learned.

And more of what makes me happy?

Being myself.

Spreading kindness.

Dancing without fear of what others think.

Feeling physically strong and flexible.

Shining my light as brightly as I can.

Nature.

Trees.

Laying out in the sun.

Walking in quiet.

Meditating in nature.

Drawing faces. Making mandalas. Collecting rocks. Painting affirmations on rocks.

I value authenticity, quiet time, creativity, kindness, health, and nature.

My individual recipe to happiness is this:

I like a clutter free, clean, organized life. I crave simplicity and freedom. I am most happy at home (or at my cottage) having fun with the people I love. I like to go deep, learn new things, and share what I have learned. I value authenticity, quiet time, creativity, kindness, health, and nature.

Are you ready to figure out your own recipe to happiness? Start your own list, check for patterns, then go out and create a life filled with your version of happy. You deserve it! See the link below for a free downloadable worksheet to get you started digging in.

Photo Credit: Jan Bonner

One of my words to live by for 2021 is radiate. It is my wish and my goal, to shine my brightest light as I honor and recognize those who have shined theirs, and inspired me along my journey back to myself.

In the past year, I have seen many people navigate this unfamiliar world with such grace and confidence, like they didn’t miss a beat when their world turned upside down overnight. Some have even said that about me and moving my classes online, which I appreciate, but know it wasn’t always true. Behind the scenes there was, and still is, a bit of stress when things do not go as planned, which let’s face it, is often.

In some ways I think we all wish for our world to return to “normal”, yet I fear it will never return to the way it was, and I am doing my best to feel thankful for that. I am attempting to worry less about the future and instead look back at the resolve and the resilience I showed in 2020, no matter what was thrown at me. What if we view this new world we find ourselves in as a positive, as an opportunity to change what isn’t working for us? What better time are we going to ever have to make the necessary (but hard) changes to break out of our old negative patterns and begin to feel the happiness each of us deserves?

It is a new world, with new possibilities and opportunities.

I believe that “normal” as we knew it won’t return for a long time, if ever, and I think that we have a choice in how we respond to this. It can leave us in a place where we feel “stuck” and waiting for a past that won’t return, or it could leave us embracing a new world with the attitude that flowing with what “is”, is the best thing we can do. Let’s use this new world as an opportunity to take back the reins of our lives and grow!

I recently held a workshop and experienced the reflections of many who embraced the changes and searched within to find the positives that came from their 2020. Either they recognized personal growth, released negatives (people, routines, habits) that were no longer serving them, or simply realized they needed to make some changes to attract more joy into their lives. I believe we all have a right to be happy, to thrive and be loved, to be appreciated for who we are without conditions, and to make a difference in our corner of the world. When we find life isn’t working for us, and recognize that we aren’t happy or thriving, and are swimming upstream to the point of exhaustion; we have a choice. We can stay with what isn’t working, stay “stuck” in the negative patterns, or we can surrender to what is and let our lives unfold with intention and awareness. I believe we need to give ourselves permission to make things right for ourselves, by feeling our way through the doors of opportunity we face, no matter how scary.

We have the knowledge and power within to do what is right for us.

It takes practice to learn what things are right for us. I’ve spent the better part of the last decade figuring out what fuels my soul, what I need to change to find the “happy for no reason” feeling inside, and how to remain calm on both the inside and the outside. The journey has been up and down, the changes have been huge, and the result was so worth the effort. I consider myself happy from the inside out now, and as a result when I did my end of the year check in, I found I was so on track I need to keep doing more of the same in 2021. That was a relief, as for many years it has been all about recognizing and implementing changes I needed to make in order to grow. Age has something to do with being comfortable in your own skin, but so does time spent letting go of judgment, comparison and expectation. There’s a bit of planning and control I had to ditch along the way, to allow my life to have more creative freedom, expression, spontaneity and play. While there is always a nagging feeling down deep in me that tells me I have “so much to do” and so little time, I keep my actual to do list as short as possible. This allows me to take care of my needs, to take breaks from accomplishing and to just enjoy the present moment and where it takes me. I am so grateful the majority of my personal growth work on letting go of control and perfectionism, was done before 2020 hit, because those adjustments allowed me to thrive in an uncertain time.

During this whole crazy deep dive into me, and then deep dive into 2020’s uncertainty, I have learned some things about myself. I believe if we look closely, we all will recognize 2020 has helped us bring to light our strengths and weaknesses. I now know what I need to be the best me, what I need to say no to, what I want more of, and what practices work to keep me calm and strong. The most important lesson might be, I no longer worry about what it looks like on the outside, or what others think of me. If I live as my best self, with no regrets and no shame, I can shine my brightest. light. This is what the world needs more of, everyone shining brightly.

It is never too late to free yourself from the “shoulds” and figure out who you really are. The collective world needs us all to shine in our own unique way. We don’t have to always agree, but we all do need to work towards being the best version of ourselves, to lead by example, to spread kindness, to remain open to other perspectives, and to live as our truest selves. If I can do it, so can you.

Namaste peeps.

My Three Words to Live By for 2021

When this covid thing all began on the evening of March 11, I suppose I thought at first it was overreaction. GVSU had just closed campus thereby cancelling my last two classes of the week and those in the near future. GR Parks and Rec was just ending a session, so we were on “break” in between sessions after my class the next morning. Our March 19 trip to Napa, our first real trip away together since Disney in 2000, had just been cancelled as flying and airports and being anywhere but home didn’t seem like a safe place to be. I was uneasy, but not panicked, and being a homebody at heart, was not afraid of being stuck “in”. At first my granddaughter was still there with me, as through the first phase of shut down my daughter was still working. It was chaotic trying to be a teacher, a grandma, a playmate, and to embrace technology to learn how I could still teach yoga and Groove to my people, but it was doable. I found myself up for the challenge.

Deep down I knew that continuing to teach, even if in a new way, and with a totally out-of-my-comfort-zone feeling, was going to be important to my sanity and well-being, and would hopefully provide some stability to those who were used to seeing me in class. I got busy filming a variety of home practices in the quiet times between my husband working on some major second floor home renovations and Nollie being at her own home. I learned how to navigate zoom, how to film yoga videos, and tried to learn how to teach a groove class so the sound of the music and the sound of my voice worked together. At a time when many were finding themselves idle, I was very busy, and mentally exhausted at the challenges of adapting to teaching via technology and without a room full of people.

Among all the chaos, the scrambling, and being out of my comfort zone, I also noticed something unfamiliar filling me up; a sense of pride. In the face of unease and worry I was learning new ways to thrive. I was doing something with my natural talents of teaching, and putting them to use in a new way. My goal was not to create the most perfect looking video, or sound meditation, or even groove dance class. My intention was to shine, and share with the world (or at least my corner of it) some sense of normalcy and positivity and to provide them a way to take a class with me even if we had to be separated by space and time. I have so many people to thank for their support as I navigated my way through. Every texted or emailed thank you, every comment on my You Tube channel or on my Facebook page about how much people needed and appreciated those practices, kept fueling me to continue, especially during the times when I was ready to give up.

Each night I laid in bed awake between the hours of 3-5 am (worry?), I circled back to the feeling of pride for being able to help in some way from the safety of my house, and by doing what I loved. In the end the covid situation uncovered a way for me to achieve something that had been on my vision board for several years; living & working from my cottage for 1/2 the year.

I have been spurred onward by so many people who stepped up since last March to help the collective good using their natural talents, by sewing masks, volunteering to feed the hungry, teaching kids with captivating content online, helping neighbors and family members get food and supplies, decorating sidewalks with their beautiful chalk artwork, etc. Whenever a sense of helplessness and worry tries to invade my inner space as we continue to navigate covid, I reach for that pride I felt when I showed up to share my talents, as scary as it was. I take great comfort in knowing I helped in small ways; helping people connect with their bodies and breath, or dancing with them to lift their spirits and keep them positive and peaceful by shining my brightest light.

As a new year approaches, it is my practice to spend time in reflection before choosing the Three Words that will shape my new year. As I bring to mind my words for 2020, Adventure, Unleash & Thrive, I realize they have served me well (though maybe not how I once envisioned them playing out). I really had an adventure-filled year. I unleashed some new talents and amidst chaos, I was able to thrive. I’ve actually found a new way of doing what I love.

In contemplating my words for 2021, I’ve landed on three that I feel will allow me to continue to flourish and shine my brightest light, while also helping me to zero in on and fulfill my purpose.

Radiate-to extend, spread, to project or glow with cheerfulness & joy

Kindle-to start or cause a fire to begin burning, to set fire to or ignite, to execute, stir up or get going, to light up, illuminate or make bright

Embrace-to take or receive gladly or eagerly; accept willingly; to avail oneself of, to encircle; surround; enclose.

Whether you set resolutions, goals or Three Words to Live By like I do, I hope you find a way to live your best life in 2021 and utilize all you learned about yourself in the last year. Cheers to a new year filled with possibilities.

Namaste, peeps.

Which one word from the list below best captures the way you feel about your life right now?

Fill in the blank: I am ________________.

Striving

Trusting

Battling

Searching

Praying

Straying

Glowing

Growing

Existing

Thriving

Did you find a word? How difficult was it to select only one word?

Today I would say my word is trusting. Yet, if I put myself back in time to a year ago, or even five years ago when I first wrote the post below, I would not have chosen the same word I picked today. I am happy about that because it tells me that I am making progress in my transformation. I am no longer stuck. For many years during my deep dive into personal growth I continually felt like I was stuck on “searching”.

Years of searching for the missing piece sounds exhausting, and it was. Mistakenly I was always looking ahead for something, anything that was going to be the answer to my happiness.

I wanted change. I wanted more meaning in my life. I wanted to be appreciated in the workplace. I wanted to stop thinking so much. I wanted to sleep like a rock, to experience big joy, to appreciate what I had, to live in the present moment and make impulsive, unplanned decisions.

So I searched and searched, I wrote, I read, I observed and as I kept my eyes on the far off horizon where I was sure the solution was hiding, I missed the life that was happening right in front of me.

I moved further and further away from myself, focusing outward instead of addressing what I needed to most --- the innermost me. A wise person once told me that I could not expect to see healing in those around me, unless I healed myself first.

Me, heal? That would mean admitting I had something to heal from…. a scary and daunting admission.

The answer to everything I wanted was inside me all along and it took me coming undone, me having a “breakdown” of sorts in order to begin to face my biggest fear: Me.

As I write this journal entry I believe I am thriving. I’ve done the hard work. I’ve seen the darkest there is inside of me and faced it head on. She doesn’t scare me anymore. I kind of I won’t let that dark side of me get so big ever again.

For a long time fear held me back from thriving. Fear of what you may be wondering?

Fear of everything. Failure, success, change, embarrassment, fear of not liking myself, fear of everyone else not liking me, fear of losing control, fear that I might lose control and never be able to piece myself back together again. I was afraid because for too many years I had remained in safe mode.

And yet, I lost it anyway-- no matter how hard I tried to stay protected, in the end I still cracked wide open. Some would say I failed, I say I finally opened myself up to begin to thrive.

Interestingly enough, you can’t begin to thrive if you stay safe (and stuck) and protected in your little bubble. You have to take chances and move out of your comfort zone, be willing to take a risk or two, and feel a little out of control in order to truly grow.

The definition of Thrive is:

1. to prosper; be fortunate or successful.

2. to grow or develop vigorously; flourish

Thriving = being brave enough to face your fears, confident enough to let others see you fail, open to growth in any direction, and prepared to succeed.

I love finding old journal entries that speak to me and record my growth. At this very moment the word I would choose is trusting. And I am. Trusting myself and my talents, trusting the universe to support and guide me, and trusting that only I know the way for me.

Ever feel the need to shake your life up and rearrange the pieces?

A few years ago I was lost.

My life wasn't going the way I had always thought it would. I was at the age I once thought of as "old" and I had always assumed that wisdom and contentment came with that big number. Being accomplished, settled and happy came along as well, or so I thought.

 But I wasn't any of those things, except happy in my marriage. My well organized life lacked purpose and deeper meaning and weirdly enough instead of feeling wise with age, I felt like a naive 17 year old.

My confusion permeated everything. My job. My relationship with my kids. How I felt about myself. And wondering what my real life's purpose was weighed heavy on my heart and my mind. At that time my oldest had just left for college and I was reeling with the change it brought to my identity. Who was I if not busy mom anymore?

I started making some small changes to get out of my slump, distancing myself from things I had always done and rethinking ways of being that were ingrained in me. It worked for a while. On the surface I was more alive, but deep down I still wondered why everyone else seemed so happy and questioned why I was not.

I really dislike feeling stuck.

I wished for my life to feel right from the inside instead of always worrying about how it looked from the outside. I made a bold move and tried shaking things up by changing jobs and leaving the one I had held for nearly 24 years. It proved to be all things a highly sensitive person should not do---and halfway through my first year I was both mentally and physically exhausted, and very negative.

What helped me out of my slump the most was to begin writing again. Which after years of NOT writing anything, felt great even if the writing wasn't. It was an outlet to share my truth and I wrote it solely for me. But others read it and let me know that it resonated with them.

So it did give me some clarity, but it also led to more confusion. And when I am confused or unable to grasp something, I ask more questions. Then if I don't understand after the answers, I get frustrated (patience was never my virtue) and then overwhelm sets in and I give up.  That leads to some serious negativity.

My mean voice found the fuel she needed to take over and paralyze me with the fear of doing it wrong.  I became so afraid of doing anything wrong that I just stayed safe and coasted along -- alternately controlling things, and then getting exasperated when they didn't work out the way I envisioned and then giving up. But never growing forward.

Staying safe I now realize, is another name for staying stuck. No forward movement = frozen, stagnant, trapped. My biggest fear.

I didn't yet understand that the power was within me to change my life. One baby step at a time. The only way to get unstuck is to move forward, a step at a time -- don't try to solve everything in one move, just begin making the necessary changes to open up doors.

I read the book entitled Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and it made me see that what I feared most was moving out of my comfort zone and not being able to handle it. The whole book can be summed up like this: What is the worst thing you can imagine, now if that happens, can you handle it? Then, if you can handle that, you can handle anything.

Too easy? Not really. Thinking in that way made me see that it is okay to fail. To try again. To fall flat. The world does not end. Just because I fail does not mean that I am a failure--my mean voice had me so tricked into thinking it meant exactly that!

Stop looking outside yourself to make the changes you need to make from within. Stop giving away your power to others: bosses, friends, situations, history, or the mean voice in your head.

Take a step forward. Shake it up. Create a kerfluffle*.

You may find that is exactly what your spirit needs to find the sunny side of the street.

*Kerfluffle—Verb: To rile up, confuse, or anger a cat (especially kittens) into fluffing up.  (Urban Dictionary)

I am Vibrant, Intuitive & Wise.

I crave Freedom.

I can't live without Love, Sun & Trees. And possibly potatoes (specifically french fries).

I want more Spontaneity in my life.

Stillness, Laughter and Nature fuel my soul.

My best self leads by example and empowers others to reclaim their personal power.

I believe in uniqueness and think in possibilities.

I often overthink especially at night when I am supposed to be asleep.

It still bugs me when people don't like me, yet I am learning to let it go.

My brain will remember random things about you, but totally forget your name.

I am a natural hostess often knowing what you need before you do.

I see colors behind my eyes and sense innermost feelings people do not express, which sometimes gets me into trouble. 

Objects, especially old ones, speak to me on a frequency I cannot understand but can feel in my body. As a result I avoid museums, antiques and old places.

Grounding and shielding have brought me more inner peace than I can ever explain.

I am inspired by children, confidence, nature and genuine kindness.

Yoga is my gateway to happiness and allowed me to reconnect with my true self.

Life used to be black and white for me, filled with judgment and comparison and ridiculous rule following. It was exhausting and frustrating. I have left all that in my wake.

I have learned no one has the right to make me feel small, less than or unworthy. My worth comes from within. When someone bullies, shames or ridicules me, it is about them trying to feel bigger.

When I cannot see the path ahead, the next step is inward.

I recharge by sitting or walking in nature, creating art, writing & resting in the sun.

I believe I have a purpose that is yet to be revealed.