Finding My Light, When the World Went Dark

My Three Words to Live By for 2021

When this covid thing all began on the evening of March 11, I suppose I thought at first it was overreaction. GVSU had just closed campus thereby cancelling my last two classes of the week and those in the near future. GR Parks and Rec was just ending a session, so we were on “break” in between sessions after my class the next morning. Our March 19 trip to Napa, our first real trip away together since Disney in 2000, had just been cancelled as flying and airports and being anywhere but home didn’t seem like a safe place to be. I was uneasy, but not panicked, and being a homebody at heart, was not afraid of being stuck “in”. At first my granddaughter was still there with me, as through the first phase of shut down my daughter was still working. It was chaotic trying to be a teacher, a grandma, a playmate, and to embrace technology to learn how I could still teach yoga and Groove to my people, but it was doable. I found myself up for the challenge.

Deep down I knew that continuing to teach, even if in a new way, and with a totally out-of-my-comfort-zone feeling, was going to be important to my sanity and well-being, and would hopefully provide some stability to those who were used to seeing me in class. I got busy filming a variety of home practices in the quiet times between my husband working on some major second floor home renovations and Nollie being at her own home. I learned how to navigate zoom, how to film yoga videos, and tried to learn how to teach a groove class so the sound of the music and the sound of my voice worked together. At a time when many were finding themselves idle, I was very busy, and mentally exhausted at the challenges of adapting to teaching via technology and without a room full of people.

Among all the chaos, the scrambling, and being out of my comfort zone, I also noticed something unfamiliar filling me up; a sense of pride. In the face of unease and worry I was learning new ways to thrive. I was doing something with my natural talents of teaching, and putting them to use in a new way. My goal was not to create the most perfect looking video, or sound meditation, or even groove dance class. My intention was to shine, and share with the world (or at least my corner of it) some sense of normalcy and positivity and to provide them a way to take a class with me even if we had to be separated by space and time. I have so many people to thank for their support as I navigated my way through. Every texted or emailed thank you, every comment on my You Tube channel or on my Facebook page about how much people needed and appreciated those practices, kept fueling me to continue, especially during the times when I was ready to give up.

Each night I laid in bed awake between the hours of 3-5 am (worry?), I circled back to the feeling of pride for being able to help in some way from the safety of my house, and by doing what I loved. In the end the covid situation uncovered a way for me to achieve something that had been on my vision board for several years; living & working from my cottage for 1/2 the year.

I have been spurred onward by so many people who stepped up since last March to help the collective good using their natural talents, by sewing masks, volunteering to feed the hungry, teaching kids with captivating content online, helping neighbors and family members get food and supplies, decorating sidewalks with their beautiful chalk artwork, etc. Whenever a sense of helplessness and worry tries to invade my inner space as we continue to navigate covid, I reach for that pride I felt when I showed up to share my talents, as scary as it was. I take great comfort in knowing I helped in small ways; helping people connect with their bodies and breath, or dancing with them to lift their spirits and keep them positive and peaceful by shining my brightest light.

As a new year approaches, it is my practice to spend time in reflection before choosing the Three Words that will shape my new year. As I bring to mind my words for 2020, Adventure, Unleash & Thrive, I realize they have served me well (though maybe not how I once envisioned them playing out). I really had an adventure-filled year. I unleashed some new talents and amidst chaos, I was able to thrive. I’ve actually found a new way of doing what I love.

In contemplating my words for 2021, I’ve landed on three that I feel will allow me to continue to flourish and shine my brightest light, while also helping me to zero in on and fulfill my purpose.

Radiate-to extend, spread, to project or glow with cheerfulness & joy

Kindle-to start or cause a fire to begin burning, to set fire to or ignite, to execute, stir up or get going, to light up, illuminate or make bright

Embrace-to take or receive gladly or eagerly; accept willingly; to avail oneself of, to encircle; surround; enclose.

Whether you set resolutions, goals or Three Words to Live By like I do, I hope you find a way to live your best life in 2021 and utilize all you learned about yourself in the last year. Cheers to a new year filled with possibilities.

Namaste, peeps.