Posts tagged heaven
Minutes From Heaven

Christmas 2013

As I sat at the computer this morning with my beautiful mother-in-law on my mind, and having just re-read my post about Angel Addie, I didn’t realize she was taking her final steps into the light of Heaven. I knew the end of her time here on earth was near, after an early morning phone call and several texts I’d received as my husband made his way to Jackson, but not that it was actually happening while I sat and let my tears and words flow. It comforts me now to know that even though I wasn’t physically there with her and the rest of the family ---I was thinking of her—and connected in spirit---at pretty much the exact moment she moved on.

My husband feels bad that he missed being at her bedside by only minutes because he thoughtfully stopped on his way into town to get some food for everyone who had stayed over at the house. He feels guilty thinking she was holding on for him to get there, and the food stop caused him to miss her passing by mere minutes. 

What if she wasn't waiting for him to physically arrive, instead she just wanted to make sure he was safely back in town and ready to step in and be a calming force in the sea of ensuing sadness her departure was sure to leave?  I think what she needed most was to know that everything and everyone would all be okay --and his place wasn't to actually be with her in those final moments, but to facilitate her peaceful release by giving her the last piece of reassurance she needed that it was okay to go. Once she knew he was in line paying for those donuts she was able to let go of any lingering doubt and leave peacefully.

I hope that is how it will be for me someday --- when I am minutes from Heaven, I too will just want reassurance that my family will all be okay.

Here is what I was writing as my mother-in-law met Jesus. I was even playing the song she loved, too. http://youtu.be/N_lrrq_opng

Dear Mom:

You are minutes from Heaven and I am so thankful that of all the mother in law’s in the world, I was lucky enough to get you. These past two years while you have raged your battle against cancer, you have done so with such grace.

As I wait here praying that the angels bring Mike safely to your side, the tears are slowly falling.

We will miss you here in this world but know that you are heading home and you are not scared. You are ready. We were the ones not quite ready for you to leave us. Your obvious excitement at meeting Jesus however has given us comfort that you will be more than okay in your new home.

This is hard sitting here and waiting. I see why so many have trouble letting their loved ones go. We don’t want you to leave. But we also do not want you to suffer. So go peacefully mom. Don’t fight the light and the extended hands of those who have gone before you. They are patiently waiting for you as well. I know Grandma Wallis is first in line—say hi to her for me will you? And hugs and love to Grandma and Grandpa Spaulding.

Mike is almost there. I don’t want to call him because I don’t want him to start driving faster to get there, either you will wait or you will be drawn to the light just before he gets there. The timing will be perfect whatever it turns out to be.

It is interesting that yesterday I celebrated Addie’s life and felt her presence so strongly all day and now today you will be joining her in Heaven.

Will we feel you, will you send us signs? I hope so. It is so comforting to be able to know that love never really ends – it changes sure, but we will still feel your love and send our love to you. Always and forever, until we meet again. XO

Your daughter in love.

To Each Her Own

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"What does your mom do all day?"

That is what my son's friend asked as they drove up north to our cottage yesterday. Through the eyes of a typical 18-year-old semi-addicted to her cell phone, a day of sitting alone on a dock by the water in the sun, with a book and a notepad sounded like drudgery. Boredom. Geekness, I think she even said.

To me, it is heaven. Add a little wine and a deep conversation and you have a perfect day.

I had to smile at her response.  How would she know that someday she will want this time. It might be years from now, but she will someday want -- no need-- this time for herself to be still. It will be necessary. Vital. Especially if she is a wife, mom and working girl and heading towards her mid-forties or later.

I realize that I never taught my kids to pay attention to their minds much. At least not the quieting of them. I was more about the doing, unfortunately. Because now I see that understanding mindfulness, and personal time and being able to listen to your inner voice, is KEY to happiness.

Without this understanding, how would she know that someday she is going to want the quiet, the stillness, the alone time to just be, to reconnect with herself?

This summer I have taken advantage of any day like that I can. I know they won't last, I won't be granted this little slice of heaven for long. So I am being selfish.

And I am so grateful for this time doing "nothing"..