Every year since 2013 I have utilized the practice of setting Three Words to Live By at the start of each new year. The words chosen help shape the year to come and bring to me what I desire most. Last year my words were Poise, Ease & Delight. My intention was to live each day in gratitude, and stay balanced in peace and joy. While it seemed an oddly unspecific choice of words for a planner like me, it was exactly what I needed. And, I had the best year of just being me. At times, I was tempted to “do something more substantial” but I resisted those urges and stayed true to living in the moment and letting things come to me. As a result, I led a few art & other fun workshops, practiced a bit of reiki, provided some virtual meditations, taught many online yoga & movement classes, and most importantly enjoyed many peace filled moments in the woods & the sun. It was ease filled and fun, and not stressful at all. Just the way I wanted it to be.

This past year also brought many opportunities to spend time with my family and with those friends who’ve become family. I was able to go to the U.P. with my husband and two sons and we had the best time together as a family exploring waterfalls, hiking the woods, trying new breweries and playing cards together. It also uncovered a hidden desire of mine to hike more & explore the north country trail around my cottage. One of my talents, and primary love languages, is to bring people together around my table with food, drink & fun, and I took every opportunity I could to make this happen in 2024. To my delight many card games were played after sharing meals with the people I love. ♥

For 2025 I want more of the same. I want peace, health, ease, fun, abundance, joy and love. So the words I have chosen are intended to keep me on track with my current journey. I hope to gather people around my table, explore the abundant woods & trails around my cottage and up in the U.P., and continue to bloom into my best self. Embracing non doing does not mean we do not accomplish anything, it just means we are still enough to listen to our soul speak. Mine is telling me life does not have to be so hard, and my only job is to be happy, so remain open and take advantage of all the little moments of joy that come my way. I am truly blessed.

Gather — to bring together or assemble

Explore — to traverse or range over (a region, area, etc.) for the purpose of discovery; to look closely; scrutinize; examine

Bloom — to be in or achieve a state of healthy beauty and vigor; to glow with warmth

Have you ever thought about finding Three Words to Live By? Let me know if you need any help with this practice. ♥

Just for fun here are all the words I used over the last 12 years.

2013 Simplify | Linger | Appreciate

2014 Clarify | Cultivate | Savor

2015 Freedom | Growth | Joy

2016 Express | Embrace | Create

2017 Illuminate | Trust | Thrive

2018 Foster | Expand | Dare

2019 Connection | Direction | Focus

2020 Adventure | Unleash | Thrive

2021 Radiate | Kindle | Embrace

2022 Nourish | Flow | Receive

2023 Confidence | Synergy | Reach

2024 Poise | Ease | Delight

You and I know each other.

Imagine you see me in the hallway at work, or we run into each other at the grocery store, maybe we find ourselves standing next to each other in the food line at a networking event. I smile in greeting and say "Hi, how are you?"

And you answer something like: "Fine" or "I'm good" or "Doing okay, how are you?"

I can't help but think that kind of exchange is really a waste of breath. Mine and yours. But we do it all the time, don't we? You might have even done it already today. Two or three times in fact.

Why do we answer quickly and not stop to think about how we really feel in that moment? How much better would it be if my question was "How are you feeling today?" and your answer reflected what was actually happening inside of you, instead of a polite deflection back to me?

What if you were able to run through a mental list of descriptor words and choose one to represent what you were feeling in that moment and share that with me. I am feeling powerful. I am distressed. I feel guilty. I am jittery. I am afraid. Or I am hopeful.

Wouldn't it be awesome if we all were able to pause, think, search for a word that fits how we are feeling in the present moment and share it, every time we are asked?

Now that would be living life in the present, with intention and mindfulness.

So why don't we?

• It's easier to pretend, right? Just saying you are fine, when inside your world could be crashing down or cartwheeling away from you, is quicker and easier.
• Are we ever really sure if the person asking wants to know or is just being polite?  Sometimes when I give an honest answer I end up feeling like a dork after I realize the person isn't really interested and now I just shared way too much information.
• It's scary sometimes isn't it? To acknowledge that life isn't going well. It's way easier to share the happy stuff --the 'I'm feeling great moments'---everyone understands when you say "I'm great." But when you say: "I'm scared." "I'm stressed." "I'm so confused."  Those make people unsure and uncomfortable, especially when they were expecting an "I'm fine, how are you?" in return.

So most times we avoid saying how we really feel. We might actually even avoid thinking about how we really feel.

What if it were perfectly acceptable for you to say how you really felt every time you answered someone? What if we had the luxury of time to really listen to someone's answer, and to also dig deeper into the feeling just expressed? What if we had time to ask why?

I believe we would not only help ourselves by alleviating the burden we carry around inside ourselves, but we could help each other.

Feelings come from experiences. Sharing the experiences out loud, and honestly allows the individual sharing-- a chance to process through the situation-- to get in touch with their emotions, and with themselves. A listener then has the opportunity to be a sounding board, a source of new strength and support, and offer a much-needed new perspective. And they have the opportunity to learn from the person sharing.

In my ideal world people ask the question 'How are you (feeling)' because they genuinely want to know the answer. And people train themselves to give a thoughtful (and truthful) response in answer.

There is great power in a shared feeling -- whether it is a good or bad one. How often have you been uplifted simply by learning about someone else's joy? Or made aware of a situation or a previously unknown issue when someone shared their heartache? Increased empathy, sympathy, inspiration and understanding are just a few of the possible outcomes after someone answers a 'How are you' question with both thought and honesty. A real conversation can sometimes lead people to think: "If you can get through this thing that you are dealing with, then I can definitely get through what I am dealing with." "I am not alone." "You are not alone." "Life is awesome when things are truly going great."  A real conversation may set someone on a new path.

To me that kind of honest sharing is powerful stuff.

How Are You Really Feeling? / The Question of the Week #23

And yes I really want to know right now in this present moment a word that describes how you are currently feeling. My challenge to you is to ask someone else how they are really feeling today. If it goes well for you, then ask again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. Hey change has to start somewhere...

And to be honest, I'd really like to be asked how I am feeling. So, pretending that you did (just ask me that is), my answer is: I am feeling favorable.

Favorable: characterized by approval or support; positive; creating or winning favor; pleasing; affording advantage, opportunity, or convenience; advantageous; boding well.

And, thanks for asking.

My New Year's Resolution is to focus on three words in my daily life: Simplify, Appreciate & Linger.

As I spent these last two weeks away from work, I intentionally kept those three words in my mind, and I am happy to report that I haven't been this happy in a long time.

Between Christmas and New Year's we were able to get away to the quiet of my sister's cottage--and even she commented on how much calmer I was. Normally I am always keeping things picked up and cleaning up after everyone, apparently also stressing everyone else out, but this year I concentrated on internal things. I listened to what my heart and head were saying I needed. If I felt like dillydallying, I did just that. If I felt like pinning on Pinterest for an hour or two, I did it. I even let the countertops get messy. I took my focus inward and when I did, it affected how I was perceived by others on the outside. Who knew the shift in my attitude would be so noticed by those around me? That thought will require some additional processing on my part.

Maybe this inward focus and life without a plan approach will be exactly what I need to allow my life to change direction. To the happier. To the place where I am supposed to be.

I have lingered (a lot) in the past two weeks, gotten sidetracked a time or six, and it has been EXACTLY what I needed. What both my mind and my body needed. In my pre 2013 way of thinking I would have evaluated my accomplishments during vacation and found them seriously lacking in the quantitative department.

But that was the old me, and the new me is content with my lack of accomplishment. Life off the path certainly has its rewards.

How about you, ever feel the need to stop the train?