Dear Friend:

How have you been? It has been so long since I have heard your voice or seen your beautiful face.

I miss you. I haven't forgotten you, or given up hope that someday you will respond to my texts or emails, far from it in fact. I have learned that things will happen in their own time; I now have patience.

I don't send you messages so you feel guilty about not communicating, I send them so you know that I am still here, in case you need a friend. In case you think you are not welcomed back with opened arms because of the way you left.

I am hopeful you will come back to me. And if you never do, I will also be grateful for the little time we had.

Although our friendship was brief, it was deep and meaningful. You came to me at a time in my life where I needed people like you.

When I met you I felt I had known you forever, maybe even in another lifetime. I understood you quickly, and quite surprisingly you seemed to understand me right back. I felt free to be  my curious self, to ask possibly unanswerable questions and to wonder at the answers with you. I never felt the need to prove myself, or to fit in. We just clicked.

From that immediate acceptance of all that I was, and was not, the burden of hoping you would like me was lifted. I simply showed up and you loved me. Your unbiased and unconditional love helped me believe in my goodness again, especially after a period where I felt lost and oh so unworthy.

Maybe that was all our friendship was ever supposed to be, you popping in to redirect me back to my path, but I really hope not.

I miss the moments when we unapologetically laughed and cried together. When our thoughts felt synchronized, as if sometimes we did it as one being. I was never worried that you would judge me or laugh at me no matter how much I dreamed out loud, or changed my mind. I never feared that you would ridicule me for what I believed, instead you helped me understand what you believed and that gave me hope that I would figure it all out in my own way someday.

Dear friend, I treasure those times we had.

My mean voice often wants to asks what I did to push you away? But I won't let it. Because the calm, still voice inside knows that very likely it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with you.

I am here for you. Waiting in the light as you once waited for me. I cannot understand (or support you through) what you won't share with me, especially not when there is only silence from your end. So the only thing I can do is hold space for you, until you heal. I pray that the time will come when you will emerge from your cocoon, ready to reconnect-- transformed, rejuvenated, peace-filled and free of whatever has weighed heavy on your spirit.

In my waiting time I will smile, filled with the joy of anticipation in thinking of all things that we might do together someday. If it happens, I will be grateful. If it doesn't, I will also be grateful for the brief, yet beautiful time we had together as friends.

Namaste, my dear friend. Namaste.

How many times have you noticed a quality in someone and wanted it for yourself? Maybe it's an energy surrounding someone, or a sureness of being, or just an attitude that we admire in someone that makes us think: I want that. I want what that person has.

What is really interesting is that when we dig deeper we may find that we don't want to be anything like the person we so admired. All we really want is to find our own confidence, to discover the sweet spot within us, and let the world see our best light in an instant. I define a person's "sweet spot" as that place where things just flow --- where you aren't engaged in an uphill battle, and are doing what comes naturally. I'd call it a place or an opportunity where you don't have to try so hard to just be you. For me it is that place where personality, experience, skills and passion align. My sweet spot. Your sweet spot.

But where is our personal sweet spot? We all have one, it just might not be obvious to us in our day to day lives.

It all leads back to the question: what are you really good at?  What are you doing when you feel the most confident in yourself? What do others say you excel at? Are those two perspectives the same?

I've spent the last four years examining myself from the outside in, and the inside out. I've discovered some really awesome things about my strengths and a whole slew of shortcomings that I need to pay attention to.

Here are some observations I made about myself:

I need to know the big picture -- the purpose of something before I can get behind it --without that, I flounder.

I like the autonomy to do it my way --without a detailed recordkeeping process along the way. (Mainly because I rely heavily on intuition and steps that I take don't always make sense until the results are in).

If I do not feel a valued part of the team, I lose confidence in myself.

I need an explanation. When you say no to something I am okay with that, as long as you tell me from your perspective why it is a no. (This doesn't mean I won't debate it with you if I think I am right, but knowing where your answer came from is often enough for me to gain the perspective I need).

I love perspective, I love to hear your "take" on a situation, and I am irritated when I am not asked to give mine. (If I haven't got a relative perspective to share, I'll tell you so --- but I almost always do.) That comes from 50 years of living, working, being married, and parenting I think.

Question of the Week #46 / What is Your Sweet Spot?

I've thought about this question a lot. It boils down to connection for me. I am great at connection. One on one or in a group, I thrive there. I love to be a catalyst, to use my abilities to see things from all perspectives, my empathic skills and my intuition (aka my dot connection ability) to move a person or an idea forward. That is where I operate easily, on flow, like I am floating downstream and not struggling to go against the current.... it is my personal sweet spot and now that I have found it, I plan to stay here.

I've spent many hours uncovering my sweet spot and making sure I knew what it takes for me to operate in flow, have you found your space yet? If not, I can help.

If you have already found yours --make sure you stay there.

Because there, life is beyond happy.

As she walked through the front door, her head ensconced in a gray sweatshirt, I immediately registered two things: Sadie was in a rotten mood, and something was different about her bangs. "Did you get a haircut?" I asked, thinking she'd be pleased I noticed.

There were tears swimming in her eyes as she looked hotly out from under her hoodie and verbally shoved me away with an "I don't want to talk about it."

Uh-oh. That's the for sure sign that something isn't right with her. Normally all cycles of unsettled "ness" in her emotions result in a change of some kind, usually of a large scale.  Once it was an uncomfortable (and not terribly attractive) lip piercing, another time it was a multicolored hair extravaganza (think bag of skittles), and this time it was an impulsive new haircut (following on the heels of a long and painful period of attempting to grow it out). From the look on her face it was obvious this haircut hadn't turned out like she'd hoped.  

Two things hit me instantaneously: it wasn't really about the hair, and the things on my evening "to do" list were going to have to wait. Sadie needed me.

Sometimes truly living life means you have to deviate from your well-crafted plans. You need to allow life to happen. While I may have had a list of things I wanted to get done that night, I've learned the hard way--- they weren't what mattered.

Sadie mattered. 

The chance to connect with my almost daughter wasn't going to wait until I was done with my accomplishing. I needed to concentrate on her. So we sat. We talked. We may have even cried. In the end, we connected and that, to me, is the juice of life. Connection, caring, and conversation is powerful stuff.

Question of the Week #45: Are You Taking Full Advantage of Every Connection Opportunity That Comes Your Way?

All people, especially our children, need to know that we are willing to put them first, ahead of the do lists and the well-intentioned plans. As parents and mentors, our chances to lead by example pass quickly, if we don't take advantage of them when they are right in front of us, we may not get another chance.

These days I take advantage of every opportunity I can to connect with those around me, especially my children. How about you? Are you allowing time for those who need you?

If I could do this all day, every day, and write about the people I met and the things I learned about them, I'd be in heaven.Dream job right there. So cool. The connections made in this video totally made me cry.

<http://youtu.be/HfHV4-N2LxQ