Be Who You Are; It is Enough
Lately I’ve been contemplating how we see ourselves versus how others view us, and wondering how well they align?
In the past I have compared myself to others, in one might say an unflatteringly critical way. Over the last several years of learning who I am, and learning to practice more self-compassion, I think today’s assessment of myself is both accurate and honest. Let me try to paint a picture of myself with the words I would use to describe myself: homebody, creative, kind, efficient, intuitive, sensitive, balanced, curious, free.
If I asked you to choose the words that define you, do you instantly know what ones you would choose? I realize we are always evolving, changing and growing into our best and truest selves, and the descriptors can change based on what phase of life we are in. Yet, I also believe, we can spend the time and effort to dig down to our authentic self and the words we find there will describe our truest self at any age.
After my assessment of myself, I asked some close family members to choose words that describe me and they said: outgoing, fun, caring, inquisitive, detailed, social, and hot bitch (well, I think that was just my brother-in-law teasing me).
It was interesting to note I see myself as much more introverted than I used to be, and than they do. Outgoing is not a word I would select to describe myself, especially since I stopped trying to be a people pleaser. I am not shy, nor was I ever, but I also am not outgoing in an I want to be the center of attention way. If I had to narrow it down to three words that describe me best, I would choose: curious, intutitive, homebody. I like to think that I am also very much in balance, which is not to say I don’t teeter totter in either direction of the spectrum sometimes, but overall I would say I am most myself when I am in balance.
Lest you think the word homebody is a descriptor to be used in a derogatory way, here is the definition. A homebody is a person who enjoys being at home and doing activities that center around the home. While homebodies do go out with friends and travel, their preference is staying at home, often alone or with close family. That preference part is important. A homebody chooses to stay at home, or in my case I prefer to be in one of my safe places; my home, my cottage, my sister’s cottage, my old family cabin, out in the sun, out in nature, with the trees (anywhere) or near water.
Sometimes homebody is applied to people with a mental illness, like agoraphobia, or a physical disability that keeps them at home, but that would be an inaccurate use of the word. If a disability keeps someone at home most of the time when they’d rather be traveling the world, for example, they are not a homebody.
I have come to realize I prefer to experience, appreciate and enjoy life very simply. From the comfort of my safe spaces. Despite years of feeling pressure from well meaning friends and family to be different than I am, to travel, to go out to eat, to attend concerts or birthday parties; I have learned I operate best when I honor my need to stay close to home.
There is no shame in being who you are. Homebody or world traveler, life goes by really fast; make sure you live it your way.