When a new friend asked me, "Do you meditate?" my first instinct was to fudge a little (like I do with the dentist --- um yes I floss almost every day, I mean week, I mean every day a week before I come for my check-up).  I'm a yoga instructor, it's practically expected we be good meditators. But at that time I did not meditate.

I'm a terrible liar, so I was honest.

"Not really, should I be?" (What I really meant was I am getting desperate--do you think it would help me?).

Early attempts to slow my life down had resulted in what I would call a firestorm of ideas. As I physically slowed down, my mind and creativity speeded up. The possibilities of what I could do, should do, felt compelled to do with my life suddenly seemed never-ending. Yet fleeting. Oh, they'd be burning passions for a week or two, and then I became distracted/fascinated with something else and those ideas would not seem doable anymore.  As my enthusiasm would wane, I'd move on to the next thing. Even I grew weary of the constantly changing directions.

The thought of Mindfulness & Meditation scared the bejeezus out of me.

In truth I had begun to feel overwhelmed by my own mind. And the thought of meditation scared me. What if I couldn't do it right? Be still, clear my mind---are you kidding me? At that point quieting my mind seemed pretty much an impossible task.

Looking back I can see that I was so stuck in a rut of worry not knowing my next step and not having a job, that I could no longer hear my own inner voice. It might have had some smart things to say to me about letting go of the control I was grabbing tighter onto. Of letting life happen instead of trying to make it happen. (Opposite advice from what I once remember giving Sadie.) Weird.

All that stress, worry, "noise", expectations for myself, and guilt that I wasn't bringing in any income began to fuel my huge need to figure it out, FAST ---so all that ruminating only added to my racing mind. I needed time to think.

I needed to meditate. But meditation in the way I thought it had to be done, quietly and in stillness, would not have worked for me. So I resisted meditation.

And then it found me, in a GROOVE dance class.

Group dance has never been my thing, I have two left feet when I step on the dance floor ---IF I am trying to follow someone else's steps that is. GROOVE is all about adding your unique movement to music. A common simple step here or there is shared by the dancers, and the creative expression is ours to add. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Perfect for a person like me who is zumba challenged.

Talk about mindfulness. I found my personal ticket to a calm mind is moving my body to music. It is my form of meditation.

My joy of dancing somehow got tucked away with my rollerblades and softball cleats. GROOVE brought it back to me. And it has had the added bonus of calming my mind, clearing out the clutter and giving me back my voice. I'm so happy to be listening to me again.

What do you do to meditate and cultivate mindfulness in your life? /Question of the Week #28

Everyone can have their own version of a mindfulness practice that works for them. So what works for me may not work for you. If you aren't sure how to calm your mind, do some experimentation. Try a GROOVE or yoga class, try doing it the traditional way and sit still, or listen to a guided meditation, pray, take a walk, sing, gaze at the stars, find something that works for you. Just find it fast.

Clarity is a necessity.

Hopefully you are not one of those people who is never able to remember your dreams--if so you could be missing out on some important messages from your inner self.

I remember my dreams nearly every night. It is the way I process my never ending thoughts. When the same dream repeats itself (what feels like all night long),  I often wake up more tired than when I went to sleep. As things heat up in my life, my dreams tend to intensify. I've learned that remembering my dreams --or at least the key parts of them -- tells me a lot about what my true self is feeling.

Question of the Week #24 / Do you remember your dreams?

As far back as I can remember I've had recurring dreams and I have always been curious as to their meaning. I now own a couple of dream books and I have the answers.

According to Dream Expert Cynthia Richmond, "not paying attention to our dreams is silly". She says it is a message from our subconscious mind and one of the reasons we dream is actually part of our internal stress management.

I'm apparently not alone in my recurring dreams. According to dream expert Laurie Loewenberg, most of the dreams I commonly have are on the Top 10 list.  My recurring dreams are about tornadoes, dirty bathrooms, being back at school and forgetting an exam, teeth falling out, finding money and flying (although I haven't "flown" in my dreams in a while).

Analyzing these dreams and recognizing what they stand for has really been eye opening to me.

For example, my school dream is the second most popular dream on the list. I usually show up to class, and it seems I have skipped a few, only to find I have an exam that I didn't know about, let alone study for. Interpretations say that means  I am either feeling unprepared for something, or that I will have negative consequences via an upcoming test of some sort, because I have not done what I said I was going to do.

The dirty bathroom dream is a far more common dream than I ever thought and is without a doubt the MOST common dream I personally have. It isn't always the same, sometimes the bathroom is so dirty I cannot get into the stall, but I have to go so badly I know I will have to wade into the "crap", sometimes I am just in wandering halls in search of a clean stall and cannot find one even though I am getting desperate, other times I find myself already in a stall that is filthy and overflowing or becomes so after I go to the bathroom. The worst is when I am sitting in a stall that is visible to everyone. How can I possibly wipe with people watching me? It usually ends up with me getting the messiness of the bathroom on me. Ick.

There are various interpretations to this dream: I need to eliminate something from my life, I'm feeling exposed by whatever needs eliminating, I have a lot of "crap" to deal with, and one that made total sense to me years ago-- that I was lacking time to myself/or private time. This  dream is less common in the last few months, yet last night I actually dreamed a new version of it. I actually had crap in my pants and was unable to take care of it because I didn't want others to see what had happened!

That  is one perceptive dream --I believe it means that I don't want others to see that I am in the process of letting go of some built up crap, so that I can move on.

The second most common dream I have is of a tornado approaching. It used to be that I ran from it in a panic and I'd wake myself up to avoid getting destroyed by it.  It was scary and I always woke with my heart pounding. For a time I would dream of it coming, I'd see it across the lake or field, then I'd be able to get to shelter but would instantly start worrying about the rest of my family. I would usually wake myself up from this version as well, heart pounding. My latest version of the dream has me seeing it coming, watching it as I move toward shelter, figuring out my family is safe and then being relieved when it either veers off in another direction or narrowly misses me.  I think it is a good sign that I do not feel the need to wake myself up from the dream anymore.

This dream is about worry, and worry that is spinning out of control, or involves bracing for impact that might or might not come. As I let go of the control I have always yearned for over my life, the tornado dreams have slowed, almost stopped completely. Oh the nights of sleeplessness I tossed and turned through, worrying about things totally out of my control...silly.

I also have a recurring dream about my teeth crumbling and falling out. This signifies "loose speech" and it involves a person saying something without thinking, something they regret. This dream is less common than it once for me. I think not only am I more careful with my words, I am also more deliberate in how I say things.

And then there is the money dream. Ever found a nickel, then a little further down the road found some quarters, then piles of coins? In my dream I was giddy, I thought I was rich--I used to dream this so often and was always so disappointed when I woke up to find I didn't really find money.

The dream book says that coins are significant --- and my dreams were always about finding coins, never dollars. Coins in dreams refer to your own self-worth, or to change that needs to be made or is already taking place in your life. Or it can refer to a decision, and it could be telling the dreamer that "there are two sides to every story", in other words don't rush to judgment. It is common to dream of finding money when you have financial difficulty in waking life. Interesting and comforting that as I grow older and wiser, and more open to my life, I have this dream less and less often.

Did you know that even if you rarely remember your dreams, there are ways you can train your brain to begin remembering them? I've never had to do this, but I have heard testimonials that it does work. That is awesome news considering all the things we can glean from the interpretation of our dreams. They can shed light on our state of mind, our health, and our overall well-being.

Wishing you sweet dreams and the ability to learn via your dreams. Care to share any recurring dreams with me?