At what age did we stop just “being” happy and feel the need to be more? Was achievement drilled into us from a young age by our parents, grand parents, or teachers? While it might be innate in some, the need to achieve didn’t come from within me naturally, although it sure as heck took up space inside my head for many years. It took years of undoing to find my way back to a state of being that was naturally me.
As I age and grow back into the me I was always meant to be, I realize I crave quiet, open spaces, non doing, freedom and I wish to do more things that bring me joy. That is a completely different feeling than the push to accomplish. One is soft and fun, one is insistent and unwelcome.
We all have choices. We can listen to the insistent voice telling us we “should” do this or that, or we can shut down the noise and welcome in the freedom to do what makes us happy. Clearly this is different at different times in our lives. When we are in our younger years there is schooling, jobs, career paths to drive us. Then if we find love and marry, have a family, that is a different kind of push as most are also still doing the work thing. It is in these years when we are very busy with little time to ourselves that the “shoulds” pile up and drag us down. It isn’t until we crash and burn, or reach a certain age that we realize what matters most is to be ourselves and be happy. Happy in the present moment, not in the future when...
As I grow wiser (older) I care less about accomplishing and focus more on being at ease. Surrounding myself with comfort and joy, and doing more of the things that make me light up. Building or rebuilding connections with those we love, gathering our families together before time runs out, taking the trip we always wanted to take, exploring, being curious, and figuring out what inspires us, is part of the process of growing old. Instead of looking at life live is over when we hit retirement age, we need to think of it as a blank slate. You get to fill it up with what makes you happy!
I encourage anyone at any age to start the process of letting go of the need to achieve, to slow down and listen to your heart, and move forward toward the people and things that bring you joy. It is one step at a time. It might mean letting go of people and relationships that no longer serve you. It might mean freeing yourself from a job that sucks the life out of you. It might mean moving to another type of climate. Whatever it is for you, you can do it. We all have choices and we have power, but it is up to us to use it.