You have the power within you. Those words might be the only mantra I need for life. Now that I realize their truth, they are my answer for everything.

I've been wearing the ruby slippers for years and hadn't realized their power. My power.

To do Anything. Everything. or Nothing.

Why did I spend so many years giving up my power to others? Questioning my own intuition. Thinking I needed someone else's buy in to my ideas to make things happen. Why didn't I trust myself more?

I do now and I am not about to give up that power again.

In recent weeks I have recognized my ability to be fully me. To say yes when I mean yes, and no when I mean no. To go forward when I recognize that I am on the right path. To be connected with others when I want to and also to recognize my body's warning signs when I need time to dis "connect", or to as I call it "turtle in". To see the positive in the situations around me where I once might have focused on the negative.

Life is so much less complicated now. The drama is outside of my bubble. I have an inner peace that rocks.

Today I sat outside and appreciated the beauty of the lake before me. I appreciated the fantastic life I have been blessed to live. My beautiful talented soft-hearted boys, my gorgeous husband, my often crazy family who make me laugh and cry, and the many "others" who think that I am something special and call upon me to be their safe haven.

The sheer wonder of such a great life caused tears to leak. No one was around to see or notice, so I'm sharing that secret with you.

I'm not sure why I ever lost the ability to appreciate every. single. thing. about my life, but I am sure glad that gratitude is back in full force.

Happy. Happy. Happy. And so fully blessed!

For years my life didn't flow easily.

In fact, it felt like I was constantly paddling upstream. I 'To Do' listed my way through days, weeks, and months of my life. I  judged my own worth by my accomplishments and didn't appreciate much of what I already had. I think I felt some inner need to stay ahead of the current so it wouldn't sweep me downstream. Wonder where I ever learned I had to paddle against the current instead of just going with the flow?

I realize now that life isn't supposed to be so hard.

Instead of allowing life to happen, and appreciating the little beautiful things every day -- I attempted to control the life around me. For years. As if my thinking about every outcome could prevent catastrophes from happening, as if I could ward off future failures and disappointments by doing everything perfectly. I'm pretty sure I thought I could save valuable time by being so darn efficient. What in the world ever made me think this was the best way? What was I saving the time to do anyway ---accomplish more?

Eventually the exhaustion and frustration that comes from continually swimming upstream overwhelms a person---it did me anyway. I became anxious, stressed, couldn't sleep, cried a lot, and was borderline depressed. No matter how perfect I attempted to make things, it was never enough. I felt stuck -- probably what I fear the most in life -- feeling helpless, trapped, unsure of my next move and unable to figure out how to get unstuck. 

One particular low point, as I began the process of digging myself out of my funk, was starting a gratitude journal and struggling to come up with anything to write in it. It all felt forced and insincere even to me. That is when I knew I had to make some serious changes.

Tuning in to all my emotions, the good and the not-so-good, flipping my reactions to responses when things got sticky, and being open to change instead of fighting it made a huge difference. I now can "feel" when control-mode attempts to creep its way back into my life, and I have strategies to stop it.

Over time I changed my negative thoughts, silenced my inner critic and started to see the beauty around me again. It took months of focused work, and some help from unexpected new friends, but I did it. I am proud of the changes I have made and the person I have become.

I no longer paddle upstream. In fact I have such a sensitivity to anything that feels like stress, worry, or control that on some days I don't pick up a paddle at all, I simply allow the current to guide me. I hope to never go back to my old way of being.

Flow is beautiful. Joy is energizing. Gratitude is exhilarating. 

Question of the Week #39 / When is the last time you felt like you were going with the flow of life's current?

What were you doing? Who were you with?  Where were you (specific place)? And, can you get there again?

Our thoughts are powerful.

Both what we think and how we think affects our attitudes, our energy and our ability to be thankful and happy. If we are stressed or unhappy, it can influence our jobs, our parenting, our relationships, or pretty much any area of our lives. Without even being aware of it, we attract negative energy. (And being in a funk can make it hard to feel thankful or grateful for anything.)

I know, I've been there.

So this week's question is: Do you have a grateful heart? If yes, make a list of the things you are grateful for. If no, maybe you need to make some changes.

At one point in my own transformation I could not find much to be thankful for. How sad is that? I look back at that time in my life and realize that I was in a big funk and could not appreciate all that I had.

Here are some entries into my gratefulness journal that got me started thinking positively.

I am thankful for:

A warm house.

A safe journey home for everyone.

A clean(ish) house.

A loving and patient husband.

Being able to stand up for myself at work without getting emotional.

A family who loves and supports me.

Children who challenge me.

Sisters. Friends. My yoga community.

Options. Choices.

Energy to set a goal and accomplish it.

I am so happy to have moved past that bleak time in my life when I could find little to be grateful for. I now appreciate the little things, the big things, and everything in between. I learned that we all have the ability to control how we react to the situation(s) in our lives. And we can choose to be grateful.

In answering the Question of the Week, if you find little to put on your gratefulness list, maybe something is not aligned properly in your life.

Here are some ideas to get you started on a path to appreciation.

1. Keep a spiritual journal -- write down when you experience special moments or meet inspirational people.

2. Share your gratitude with others --sometimes it helps you appreciate things more when you say them out loud to another person.

3. Create a morning or evening gratitude ritual of recording your thoughts. Choosing a time of day and staying consistent with that makes you look forward to that time to think and reflect.

4. Ask others what they're grateful for. Read blogs, ask friends or coworkers, or read a motivational book. Find a way to learn from others.

5. Use a gratitude token (a rock,) a charm-- or something, that you can keep with you and randomly encounter throughout the day to remind you to be thankful.

Gratitude is a spiritual, emotional and mental practice. Practice gratitude slowly, and watch it grow.