Dear Girl in the Front Row, It’s Okay

Dear Girl in the Front Row:

Stop trying so hard. Really. It’s okay, in fact it is more than okay to do it your way.

You are the only one who cares that you aren’t 100% doing this pose. Most everyone else in class is doing what they are supposed to be doing and concentrating on their own practice, tuning into their own body. No one is looking at you.

I see you forgetting to breathe attempting to hold the pose longer, I saw the look of disgust you gave yourself when you looked toward the mirror just now, and I feel the frustration radiating off you because you are not standing as straight in tree pose as you think you should. Trying harder, pushing yourself is not what yoga is about. Instead listen to your body and choose an easier level. Honor your body’s needs.

You aren’t listening to your back, hips, or shoulders right now, are you? They aren’t just feeling “tight”, they are screaming stop. Help me. End this agony and take me to child’s pose. How do I know? I was you. For a long, long time.

And every now and then, I still try too hard.

For the record, neither “perfect” or “flexy-bendy” are ever going to be words used in describing my practice. And I am mostly okay with that.

But sometimes I get caught up in my old way of perfectionistic thinking, and I push myself a little harder. I suppose I feel like I am slacking if I don’t. And that bothers me to the max because I not only tell my students it is okay to honor their bodies, I really believe it is best for them to do that. It is best for me to do that as well, to feel the pose from the inside, and not worry about what it looks like from the outside.

I became a yoga instructor not because I am flexible, or a yoga geek, or even that I am good at it. I am a yoga instructor because I love to teach. And I especially love to teach something that I completely believe in. I understand what yoga can do for someone who lives in a tight body. I know the power of yoga to change lives. It sure changed mine. I would say that yoga was a big part of what reconnected me to my true self, the one I had lost under the heavy weight of trying to be perfect, to be more than I was. Of trying to be like everyone else.

I know I found the answers I was looking for when I opened up to life as it was, instead of resisting it, or expecting it to be more. I now 100% believe in the power of doing what feels right to you.

When I look around the room and see my students making unique pose choices to honor their bodies, or their present physical, mental or emotional situation, I am so proud. It tells me that they are listening, honoring and feel empowered to do what feels good to them, rather than just following mindlessly along. One of my favorite yoga instructors said the most advanced student in the room was the one doing child’s pose when they needed it.

Don’t try to be like anyone else in class. Just be you. Do what feels good to your unique body. Always.

I am not just spewing some cute yoga jargon when I tell you that honoring your body is the highest form of appreciation for your body, it is to me the heart of what a yoga practice can do for you. What better way to find your power from within, than by taking the time to tune in and pay attention to your awesome body. To breathe fully and deeply and sit in the silence of your innermost thoughts to really hear yourself. I know of no better way to grow and understand yourself than from the inside out.

Honor your uniqueness, and never try to look like someone else in class. Do only what feels right, and challenge yourself for all the right reasons, when you are ready for a challenge, and not because you are striving for some kind of an ideal.