On Being A Late Bloomer
There is one thing I know for sure: no matter how hard or even how easy our lives have been so far, we all have "stuff" to deal with. Some of us might even fool ourselves into thinking we've dealt with our junk, but we all have more deep down inside. For me, dealing with my junk is a constant and daily practice, and I am one of the ones who believe I had an easy life. (Does it surprise anyone that this thought only serves to add more guilt to my personal load?)
The deep level of "stuff" is so much easier to continue to push further in and attempt to ignore, than to dig out isn't it? At one stage in my life, I did just that. I shoved it all down in, and focused outward, trying to control other things, and other people around me; instead of just dealing with it. I've come to realize that no one can be wholly and fully themselves unless they are willing to invest the time in their own healing. While I admire (even envy) those who deal at an earlier age than I did, I recognize that I am a late bloomer. It took me a while to be ready.
Way back to my high school days I was always thinking deep. I loved studying personalities and figuring out how/why people acted the way they did. But I thought that since my life was "easy" and safe, I didn't need to heal from anything. My interest always had an outward focus. Improving things. Moving situations and people forward. Being efficient. And somewhere in the not dealing with my version of a personal 'demon" --a critical inner voice which I fueled with doubt, worry and a ridiculous need for control-- I made the mistake of thinking that my value was determined by how much I added to the world around me. (aka how much I accomplished). At the worst of my running away from my inner "stuff" phase in life, I became a Type A Control Freak, so I am able to recognize the unhealthy signs when I see them in others.
Someone recently asked me about the personal growth workshops I do. Who are they for? What do they do for you? I believe the question being asked was really "Is this something I should consider doing?" or "Will it help me?"
And the answer to everyone asking is 'Yes', but only if you are ready --ready to face your inner demons, let go of things that are weighing you down, and ready to begin making some changes. Some of them will be difficult and uncomfortable and require hard work and patience from your mean inner voice, but the good news is that you can start with a few easy steps.
Looking back I see that attending my first vision board workshop was a kind of springboard for me. I went into it not really knowing what it was all about, but knowing I was ready for something more. Although my think-too-much, plan-my-life-away-brain wanted all the answers at once, I trusted the process even though it didn't make much sense until almost 3 years later, it started me on my path to healing.
And it really kicked things into gear when I got out of my head and into my heart.
My inner voice, the one I ignored for nearly 35 years while I 'accomplished' myself to exhaustion, knew that what I really wanted all along was to live easier, happier and healthier.
Do you have stuff weighing you down, making your life heavier than it should be? Do you often feel like something is missing, or that something is "off", but can't identify exactly what it is? Do you look at others and wish you were as happy or as free from worry as they seem to be? Do you appreciate yourself for your natural talents or are you always trying to make up for your shortcomings? Do you feel yourself making the same mistakes your mom did?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions...you are ready to begin some personal growth yourself. I understand that getting started is scary and it is easy to second guess the money and/or time commitment needed, but I can assure you that YOU are totally worth it, just as I was.
Need help getting started? That is what I am here for and why I do vision board workshops passion mining classes, and help others uncover their own natural talents. Still not sure? Then I suggest you talk to someone who looks happy (or happier than they used to) --- and see what got them started. Being happy from the inside out is definitely ALL it is cracked up to be.
Oh, and I like to think that being a late bloomer is better than never blooming at all!